What was the MOST ridiculous thing a patient came to the ER for?

And did you have to treat them?

I am just curious. Your stories always seem to either crack me up or shake my head in amazement.

Thanks for sharing ?

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

Ooo ooo... Forgot about this one. I was in our ED on exam room when I heard, "Wash my pecker, wash my pecker!". Apparently it's a very bad idea to get drunk, take off your clothes, and fight the cops because they mace you.....and it travels south.

:hhmth: That sure tickled my funnybone.

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

I had one come in to remove a tick. I looked at her when she said she wanted to check in and said, "You really want to pay $400 to have this tick removed when you can do it yourself fairly easily?". I don't know if she had insurance because she didn't check in, but at least she didn't say, "I have insurance, it doesn't matter."

That happened almost every shift in the summertime, back when I worked in Maine. I always wondered why they came in. People said they wanted to make sure the head came out. Sheesh...look at it. And if it didn't come out right away, it will eventually. The tick's dead, he's not still chewing.

[rph3664]

friend is called, and my husband calls,

"don't worry. she's great!":)

friend:she??? she??? omg! a woman? oh %$#@!:eek:

uh... we've done all sorts of things in the last century...

there are a lot of women who won't go to male doctors. lots of men are reluctant to see women doctors too, especially regarding.......that.......

while this isn't an er story, there is a female urologist in my region who specializes in treating erectile dysfunction. really.

[sharpeimom]

when you live in a very rural area, you see any gender the hospital can attract and suck it up or travel 100 miles, for some specialties. i have never understood gender squeamishness

[Raven Sierra, BSN, RN]

We had a 20-something female arrive via ambulance for "acute abdominal pain." On exam, pt was having menses. Asked her if she had taken anything for it. "No." Still, did full workup, including CT.

Dx: Cramps. The kicker? The patient was surprised at the Dx.

I should add...I understand that cramps suck. I've had horrible ones my entire life (extreme pain, vomiting, etc.). But, you're 20-something. This isn't your first time with this. And you're surprised by the diagnosis??

[Raven Sierra, BSN, RN]

Also....

Multiple times:

-Ear wax removal. One of my least favorite things in the world.

-Pt: "I think I'm pregnant/I want a HIV test (or other STD test)."

-Family: "Momma's not responding to us!!!!" Real Dx: Momma's ****** you haven't come to see her in x months and won't talk or look at you. Of course, that's not the Dx given to the patient. :)

-Mom: "My kid is choking!" Kid is running around ER, barefoot, eating, drinking (usually chips and Coke)

-Mom: "I need strep tests/immunizations done on my five kids."

Sometimes you wonder if we are actually evolving......

[bsveillon]

I had a 26 y/o come in complaining of a snake bite. We rushed her in, laid her on the bed, her family's giving the info to the admit clerk-(as you can picture it, it's a dramatic scene). I'm asking her the eval questions-the whole nine yards- she says she's worried because she feels like she has a fever. We cut through her pants to get to the leg- being they were too tight to roll up- and . . . . wait a minute- where's the bite- I don't see it - are you sure it was this leg?

She says, "oh, it's not bleeding anymore." I said, "what? how long ago was it?"

SERIOUS, TRUE ANSWER:

"About a month ago. But, I figured since it was a really small snake, that's probably why it's taken so long to get me sick."

To this day, I'm Speechless!

[bsveillon]

Another one, I saw a girl come in for abdominal pain, and, to her "surprise", she's in labor 1 hr later. She says, "I can't be pregnant!" Yeah- the boyfriend was there. Big surprise huh?

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

I had a 26 y/o come in complaining of a snake bite. We rushed her in, laid her on the bed, her family's giving the info to the admit clerk-(as you can picture it, it's a dramatic scene). I'm asking her the eval questions-the whole nine yards- she says she's worried because she feels like she has a fever. We cut through her pants to get to the leg- being they were too tight to roll up- and . . . . wait a minute- where's the bite- I don't see it - are you sure it was this leg?

She says, "oh, it's not bleeding anymore." I said, "what? how long ago was it?"

SERIOUS, TRUE ANSWER:

"About a month ago. But, I figured since it was a really small snake, that's probably why it's taken so long to get me sick."

To this day, I'm Speechless!

[DeadHeadRN, BSN, RN]

We had a 20-something female arrive via ambulance for "acute abdominal pain." On exam, pt was having menses. Asked her if she had taken anything for it. "No." Still, did full workup, including CT.

Dx: Cramps. The kicker? The patient was surprised at the Dx.

I should add...I understand that cramps suck. I've had horrible ones my entire life (extreme pain, vomiting, etc.). But, you're 20-something. This isn't your first time with this. And you're surprised by the diagnosis??

This reminds me of a pt we had a few months ago with acute abdominal pain. This man was literally in tears from the pain. Anyway, he got the full work-up, (Bloods, CT, Fluid, etc.). He even got a sono thrown in for good measure. Needless to say there was nothing wrong with him other than a LOT of stool and gas. So the ED physician goes to talk to the pt and give him the results of all the tests. I happened to be at the bedside putting up another liter of saline. The doctor says to him with an absolutely straight face :Sir, you're perfectly ok, all your tests show that you have no acute disease, but you are suffering from TFS." So the man looks at him and says "What is TFS?" And the doctor says "Trapped Fart Syndrome," and walks away.

It took everything I had in me to hold it together until I got out of the room. Hilarious. Now, whenever an abdominal pain comes in we make sure we rule out TFS

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

:hhmth:That's so funny! I have a friend with TFS!! I just read your message to him.

[Christy1019, ASN, RN]

this wasn't the most ridiculous reason i've seen by far, but was one of my more recent ones that annoyed me..

it's 2am and i'm assigned to triage/registration, i call this 20-something female pt that just walked in, to my desk who appears agitated and has her mother carrying a toddler and dragging another 4-5yr old w/her, both kids in pajamas and can barely keep their eyes open. silly me thinks this complaint must be important if she's gonna drag her mom and kids to the er at 2am... oh but of course not! patient sits down and immediately starts going off about how she just slammed her thumb in the car door and now she has no circulation to her hand and its cold, plus she now has gangrene, per the pt. i ask when this happened, she tells me 15min ago, so i look at her hand.. her "gangrene" is a collection of blood under the nail, and as for her "loss of circulation with cold hands" issue, it's a safe bet that her hand is cold because she is running around in the middle of the night in this ridiculous spandex and rhinestone outfit , and not from a circulation problem, due to the fact that she's moving all fingers/hand, skins pink, cap refill is good, and b/c she's crazy! lol after i explained all of this to her, she then seriously asked me "well aren't you going to page the doctor up here stat?!" lol, i said "first of all, i don't page the doctor to triage stat for non-emergencies", she didn't really like that comment and spent the rest of the time i was stuck with her saying how we needed to give her a shot of "that stuff that starts with a d.. dilaula?" haha, lady you get a motrin, especially seeing as how she's the one driving! why she couldn't leave babies at home w/grandma to watch em, is beyond me, but then again if you're weird enough to wear that outfit and rush to the er in the middle of the night b/c you bruised your thumb.. i'm guessing your not the brightest bulb..