What was the MOST ridiculous thing a patient came to the ER for?

Specialties Emergency Nursing Q/A

And did you have to treat them?

I am just curious. Your stories always seem to either crack me up or shake my head in amazement.

Thanks for sharing ?

Occasionally we read on here about women (the majority of the on Medicaid) who come into the ED just to get a pregnancy test so they don't have to put up the with "inconvenience" of waiting to see their doctor or having to pay for one at the store. Usually it's been stated on here to go to the Dollar Tree or Dollar General to get a pregnancy test for a dollar and some change.

Apparently, a lot of people took the AN's advice of going to the Dollar Store to get a test, but they don't want to pay for them there either. They've become a high theft item and are now locked up behind the counter to prevent theft.

I wonder where it's written into the constitution that one has the right to life, liberty, happiness and a free pregnancy test if one should get knocked up while pursued in said rights?:bugeyes:

Specializes in Emergency.

pt: "I have a fever"

me: "Your temperature is normal"

pt: "My mother felt my head and thought it was warm"

pt's mother: "It was"

me: "Is anything else bothering you?"

pt: "No"

me: "OK, one of our doctors will be in shortly"

Had this conversation more times already than I ever thought possible. Only saving grace is I generally get 5's from these pts.... But what a waste of time.

I just worked with OB/GYN patients in the ER, but we saw some pretty interesting stuff.

-Box cutters in the lady parts - A prisoner knew she was going to be arrested, and this was her way of trying to land herself in solitary. She refused to be treated, and we had to tell the officers that nothing could be done until they came back with a court order since we weren't going to hold her down and commit battery. ..... Now I've never been to jail, but I'm pretty darn sure this isn't a risk I'd be willing to take!!!!!!

-"I have gonorrhea."

"What makes you think that?"

"It's going around my family."

-"I think I might have an STD, but it's not from having sex."

"How do you think you got it, ma'am?"

"Either my cough syrup or sharing a bed with my dog..."

"Are you having sex with your dog?"

"no"

"Then he didn't give you a sexually transmitted disease."

-A woman reportedly hid $160 of cash in a ziplock bag inside of her lady parts from her boyfriend so he couldn't spend it on drugs. A few days later, she came in for severe pain. She asked the doctor if she'd get the cash back, to which he replied "nope, finders keepers!" -- We didn't find the money.

-"I think I got that tricky osmosis again."

-HIV patient, can't recall the complaint

"I only sleep with men who have HIV. Don't worry."

Dr "How do you know who has HIV and who doesn't?"

"I look into their eyes to see if they look sickly inside."

-"I just had this baby on the bus on the way to the hospital, but the nurse in labor and delivery told me I can't be there."

"Ma'am, that is a stuffed pink cat."

"No, it's the baby I just had on the bus."

"Why did you just wet your pants?"

"That must have been that baby fluid... No, actually it's just because I needed to go. I don't have to stay here, you know."

"No ma'am, you're right, you don't."

... and then she walked out (fear not, we had her picked up by the hospital police before exiting the hospital for a psych eval)

Specializes in ED.

Male pt at triage window checking in with registration "I need to be seen" (as I listen from behind my desk next to her with another patient in the chair).

Clerk "whats wrong sir"

pt "I have a rash"

Clerk "where is your rash"

pt "on my bird" I start to smile, this will be fun

Call the patient in..."so I overheard you have a rash?"

pt "yeah...I got some flea and tick stuff, you know the kind in the tube...well I put it on my dog...but I guess she must have snuggled up with me last night cause I got this rash on bird now"

We often joke that our ED should be renamed 'The department of tea and sandwiches'. Our folks have such co-morbidities that they are assured of getting a bed and treatment when they are hungry and feel the need for a bed.

Specializes in Med/Surg/Pedi/Tele.

You won't believe this one.. a 14 y/o with a 2 liter coke bottle up his rectum. Required surgery to remove. :no:

mom brings kid in w/fever to 104....kid vomiting from having to SWALLOW the suppository that mom gave him.........

same vein........different mom shoving suppositories up the kid's orifice WITHOUT REMOVING THE FOIL!!!!!!

can't make this sh*t up!

gets better and better.......

--dentures in the rectum.......surgery, temp colostomy

--GULDENS spicy brown mustard jar up the, you guessed it,.....another surgery consult

--a harmonica, assorted bottles, jars, and i just now remembered TIC TACS!!!

I COULD GO ON AND ON..............

Specializes in Hospice, ER.
We often joke that our ED should be renamed 'The department of tea and sandwiches'. Our folks have such co-morbidities that they are assured of getting a bed and treatment when they are hungry and feel the need for a bed.

We go thru turkey sandwiches like they were free...oh wait, they are free! Also lots of cheap ginger ale. We actually had a mom and two kids, one kid was the pt, clean out the fridge in our area. We refused to restock it and got stuff for other pts from other areas. Otherwise, they would have cleaned it out again. They were pretty well fed to begin with.

Specializes in M/S, MICU, CVICU, SICU, ER, Trauma, NICU.
Now why in the world would you even think that it would be silly to go to the ER for that? I had a kidney stone years ago. It was probably the worst pain I ever felt in my life!

Kidney stones COULD become an emergency. I've seen many end up in kidney failure. Very, very much an emergency.

Specializes in Emergency.

"Hey, doctor. I am here because I missed work today and need a work excuse." This pt didn't even bother dreaming up an imaginary illness. Someone obviously is on medicare.

"Hey, doctor. I am here because I missed work today and need a work excuse." This pt didn't even bother dreaming up an imaginary illness. Someone obviously is on medicare.

sorry maybe i missed something, why would they obviously be on medicare?

+ Add a Comment