What to do with a bf who just wants me for my degree

[mstaurus2016]

Hello all, & happy new year. It has been some time since posting on this site, but I don't really have a lot of friends to consult with about a certain issue I'm facing during nursing school. I only have 12 months left of my program & my child's father seems to want to work things out all of a sudden. Background info:

We were together for 7 years.

Went through a lot of turmoil, which resulted in him breaking up with me.

I predominately raise our child alone during the week, whether I'm in school or not, which has been very tough.

My family helps financially with most of our needs.

Anyway, I found some messages on his phone between him and his friend after I borrowed his cell to make a call. Basically he presumes that RN's make a ton of money, & that I'll be supporting him, our child, his child from a previous relationship, & MYSELF after graduating! I've never been a gold digger, but he works a dead end job & has no education. I forced myself into believing I loved him, but this does it. How should I dump him? We don't live together....I just feel so alone. I dropped all friends to responsibly raise my child & dedicate myself to nursing school. I was looking forward to someone to genuinely be there for me & take interest in my life. Thanks for reading, if you did. Have a blessed day/night.

[hdreeves]

Don't drop him like a hot potato. Potatoes are to be respected, and only dropped into a pot of boiling water when deemed delicious enough to be cooked. Drop him like the scum he is but don't devalue potatoes in the process.

[SWalker0914]

Time to kick this man to the curb. You are working your butt off to get through nursing school and you are also a mommy! You are not responsible for this man and his child from another mother. Do what makes you happy and don't let him walk all over you. You sound like an amazing person and you do not deserve someone who is taking advantage of your hard work and your love. Do what you need to do, mama for yourself and your baby.

[Natalie513]

omg you need to distance yourself from this man immediately! you are a hard worker, don't get bogged down with someone who just wants to leech off of that! focus on you and your child, finish that degree, and get that awesome job that you deserve. maybe you'll even meet a handsome nurse at the hospital when you start

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

You'll make a decent salary as a RN, but certainly not enough to support a lazy deadbeat and his child from another relationship. Every dollar you throw his way is one you are taking out of your own child's future.

[Mavrick, BSN, RN]

Tell him you want to stay in school a few more years so you can teach. He'll drop off like the leech he is and go lookin' for another sugar mama.

I think my job is done here.

[windsurfer8, BSN, RN]

Not sure about the "make tons of money" part. You will be working your rear off for decent money, but more than likely you won't be rolling in cash. Go with instincts. Use common sense and make a decision based on your evidence you have acquired. Or not. It is up to you.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

Tell him you want to stay in school a few more years so you can teach. He'll drop off like the leech he is and go lookin' for another sugar mama.

I think my job is done here.

I like this one. It's so much more fun to watch him squirm than to just dump him!

[Aunt Slappy]

Why lie? Just tell him the relationship is over. Period. Then block his number and move on with life. Women don't need to be sneaky or make up fake reasons, they have the right to end a dating relationship at any time and for whatever reason they deem sufficient.

[applesxoranges, BSN, RN]

Keep in mind that you will have to deal with him till your kid is 18ish.

[jeneroo]

Definitely dump him. There are good men out there, he is not one of them. I'm in nursing school full time and I quit my job in July to do so. I worked part time last semester as a home health aid but it wasn't worth the small money and hassle to continue to do so and so I ended that job as well, with my family's full support. My husband is working his butt off to support me and our 6 children. Yes, 6. Also, 5 of them are not his children, they are his stepchildren. My oldest son (22) is also working at Walmart and living at home to help out until I graduate. That's what good men do, that's what a good person does. They support each other. They don't' mooch, they don't use, they don't financially and emotionally abuse other people to get what they want.

[Wiggly Litchi]

Be cordial but honest.

You don't have to go into explicit detail and say that you read the messages (though you could if you reaaally want to), but say that your heart isn't in the relationship and it never will be.

I echo what everyone else has said here (including the kind person who stood up for potatoes) - dump his ass asap. You, and your sweet child deserve better.

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

Why lie? Just tell him the relationship is over. Period. Then block his number and move on with life. Women don't need to be sneaky or make up fake reasons, they have the right to end a dating relationship at any time and for whatever reason they deem sufficient.

I agree with all of the above except the advice to block his number. They have a child together, so she will need to remain accessible in order to facilitate the co-parenting of their child.