We Did Not Sign Up For This

I am a nurse, and I love what I do. I am proud to be a nurse. I chose this profession because I am a helper. Helping and healing are in my nature, but... I am also a human being with people who love me, a family, hopes, fears, anxiety, and dreams. Just like you.

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This article was written by someone who wishes to remain anonymous. Due to the topic and emotionally charged nature of the article, the member wanted the topic out in the open so nurses could discuss it. Because she is afraid of retribution if any of her hospital administrative staff should read this article and link it back to her, we offered to publish it for her anonymously. Please add your comments regarding this issue negatively impacting nurses and the healthcare system.

COVID-19 is here and it is terrifying. People are scared. People are panicking.

I have seen posts that criticize nurses who choose not to work right now because they are afraid. "This is what YOU signed up for!” people say.

That is not true. This is NOT what we signed up for. NOBODY has signed up for this.

Unlike what you might have seen on TV, there are many different types of nurses and we all have different skills. We specialize in our own fields.

The Renal nurse knows how to educate patients who are in renal failure about fluid and dietary restrictions, so they do no overload their systems. She understands shunts and dialysis equipment. For the patient in renal failure, she is an expert.

The Cardiac nurse knows how to take care of patients who have just had open-heart surgery. She can read an EKG expertly. She may not know how to connect a patient to a dialysis machine, but for cardiac patients, she is an expert.

The Labor and Delivery nurse can check your cervix to tell when it's time to push. She can read fetal monitoring strips to make sure your baby is not in distress during labor. She may not be an expert at reading EKGs, but for a laboring mom, she is an expert.

The ICU nurse takes care of the most fragile patients. She understands ventilator settings, arterial pressure readings, blood gas readings. Drugs that most wards will never see – like Levophed are used here. She cannot check your cervix, but for a critical patient, she is a lifesaver.

Each of these nurses (and oh so many more different types of nurses!) are experts in their fields. They "signed up" to care for those patients. They have trained and educated themselves to care for their specific patients. That is why if you are in labor, you want a labor nurse, not a renal nurse, at your bedside.

Right now, ALL NURSES, regardless of specialty, are being called to care for COVID patients. Please bear in mind that not ALL nurses have been trained to deal with highly infectious patients who have the potential to go into acute respiratory distress quickly. We are NOT being offered additional training. This is part of the reason nurses are terrified. This is why some nurses are leaving nursing right now. This is definitely NOT what they "signed up for.”

For the most part, nurses take care of people who are ill or injured with non-communicable illnesses or injuries like cancer, heart disease, strokes, car accidents, etc. This means we can help without the risk of catching our patient's illness or injury.

We do take care of patients with infectious illnesses as well – the flu, pneumonia, etc. Because these patients do not take up a large part of our hospital normally, we have the appropriate respirators, reverse-air flow rooms, and PPE we need to take care of these patients. These patients are usually on appropriate wards with nurses who have been trained to care for them. Although there is a risk when we take care of these patients, there are also vaccines and known treatments to help us fight if we get infected.

COVID-19 IS DIFFERENT. IT IS A HIGHLY INFECTIOUS, POTENTIALLY FATAL VIRUS WITH NO KNOWN CURE OR TREATMENT.

Because it is a PANDEMIC, many people are sick at the same time. Hospitals are overwhelmed. Patients are being sent to wards where nurses do not have the correct expertise to care for them. Hospitals do not have the appropriate equipment to help keep their nurses SAFE while we are caring for patients. There are not enough masks. Nurses are being asked to wear bandanas or sew their own masks at home! Would YOU walk into a potentially infected person's room and care for them with a bandana?

So please. STOP. STOP saying "Nurses signed up for this.”

We did not. We did not sign up to sacrifice ourselves because hospitals won't provide us with the proper equipment and training we need.

We did not sign up to die of an infectious disease just because "it's your job!”

Do you want a labor nurse trying her best to 'figure out' how to operate a ventilator for your child? Do you want a cardiac nurse delivering your daughter's baby? Do you want a wound care nurse to try and figure out your dialysis settings? No. I promise - you don't.

We understand you need us, but our families need us too.

If we are scared right now, it's because we have every damned reason to be terrified.

If some nurses choose to stay home and protect their families, that is their priority. They have a right to protect their own life. No JOB is worth anyone's life

Specializes in Travel, Home Health, Med-Surg.
19 hours ago, Sweetmemi said:

I can understand both sides but technically, yes we did sign up for this. Or at least we knew what we were signing up for. In California, we’re considered disaster workers. We learned about this in my community/public health class during nursing school. We went over natural disasters such as when Hurricane Katrina hit. As a Cali nurse, I was positive I’d only deal with earthquakes and fires. Now I definitely wasn’t expecting a pandemic during my career . But it’s here and its the reality of my job. I work OB myself so I work with a specific pt population but was told I could get floated in areas of need. Speaking for my hospital only, despite not having training, I would not do anything out of my scope of practice. However, I do know how to take vitals, how to draw labs or hang meds. As long as I am protected I will do my job. Where it becomes problematic is the PPE hasn't be adequate so I understand why some nurses are fearful.

I went to nursing school in Calif (albeit along time ago) and didn't receive the disaster training you mention. Although I agree that training r/t regional possible disasters is a good idea I am wondering if this is actually in the Calif nurse practice act or just simply something taught in school.

OP: ty for the article, agree "we did not sign up for this". And as DeeAngel stated, we did not sign up to work without PPE, and esp when IMO admin dropped the ball.

Specializes in ED, psych.
20 hours ago, Sweetmemi said:

I can understand both sides but technically, yes we did sign up for this. Or at least we knew what we were signing up for. In California, we’re considered disaster workers. We learned about this in my community/public health class during nursing school. We went over natural disasters such as when Hurricane Katrina hit. As a Cali nurse, I was positive I’d only deal with earthquakes and fires. Now I definitely wasn’t expecting a pandemic during my career . But it’s here and its the reality of my job. I work OB myself so I work with a specific pt population but was told I could get floated in areas of need. Speaking for my hospital only, despite not having training, I would not do anything out of my scope of practice. However, I do know how to take vitals, how to draw labs or hang meds. As long as I am protected I will do my job. Where it becomes problematic is the PPE hasn't be adequate so I understand why some nurses are fearful.

I have to respectfully disagree - no, I did not sign up for this.

I live in the NE, near a growing hotspot. We worry about snowstorms. We train for mass casualties in the ED; however, we do not train for choosing your own life over another’s.

This is what I feel like every time I have my surgical mask instead of my N95 when my COVID patient starts going south; it’s an awful feeling. I have 1 N95 that I have reuse for 6 days, carry around with me in a paper bag. I am not to use it for basic care unless there is a protocol being met (nebulized meds, sputum collection, CPR, hi flow O2, etc).

Patients can go south really quick, and I need to get to that mask in a damn hurry.

We are not protected. It is a very real fear.

No one went to nursing school thinking that some day they’d be in a patient room saying to themselves, “this could be the day ...”

OP - great article. Summarized it perfectly.

Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.
21 hours ago, Sweetmemi said:

technically, yes we did sign up for this.

No. I signed up to be a nurse whose employer would provide the required PPE to care for whatever patients come my way. While at the moment I have the fortune to not be in direct patient care, when the surge of patients comes it will be all hands on deck, whether the job has one at the bedside or not. I expect to have the necessary PPE when that time comes.

Specializes in Critical care, tele, Medical-Surgical.
On 3/27/2020 at 1:18 PM, herring_RN said:

We Just Come to Work Here, We Don't Come to Die · Anne Feeney

In the early eighties we cared for AIDS patients wearing complete cover until it was determined blood precautions were sufficient. At first we didn't have sharp containers in each room.

When a patient with bloody lesions stopped breathing I ran to the crash cart, got the Ambu bag and then bagged him. He died later that day in the ICU.

I was written up for not doing mouth-to-mouth. I had young kids then. We don't go to work to die.

PS: The lyrics are attached.

WE JUST COME TO WORK HERE, WE DON'T COME TO DIE.pdf

If you like the song you may also enjoy Anne Feeney singing "We're Nursing As Fast As We can" by Joan Hill

https://www.Youtube.com/watch?v=UQfzAdBhObk

Specializes in ICU.

" As long as I am protected I will do my job. Where it becomes problematic is the PPE hasn't be adequate so I understand why some nurses are fearful."

That's the whole point.. we're NOT protected. And we are "fearful"? This is not some far off perceived ,"what if", irrational fear. Contracting the virus when regularly working with positive patients without proper PPE is a fact. It WILL happen. And we won't get tested unless symptomatic (when it can be transmitted without symptoms) thereby exposing other patients and co-workers. We did NOT sign up for any of that anymore than soldiers don't sign up to go to war with pen knives. It's an unspoken understanding that doesn't need to be included in a contract.. we do the job if you give us the tools and protection to do it. If you can't, we can't and won't do the job.

5 hours ago, pixierose said:

I have to respectfully disagree - no, I did not sign up for this.

I live in the NE, near a growing hotspot. We worry about snowstorms. We train for mass casualties in the ED; however, we do not train for choosing your own life over another’s.

This is what I feel like every time I have my surgical mask instead of my N95 when my COVID patient starts going south; it’s an awful feeling. I have 1 N95 that I have reuse for 6 days, carry around with me in a paper bag. I am not to use it for basic care unless there is a protocol being met (nebulized meds, sputum collection, CPR, hi flow O2, etc).

Patients can go south really quick, and I need to get to that mask in a damn hurry.

We are not protected. It is a very real fear.

No one went to nursing school thinking that some day they’d be in a patient room saying to themselves, “this could be the day ...”

OP - great article. Summarized it perfectly.

Yes, I don't think people realize that some of us were handed out paper bags to keep our mask in for reuse over and over because that's all we were going to get for now... Not to mention the scariness of it all. These are real fears...

Specializes in Critical care, tele, Medical-Surgical.
Quote

At least 515 healthcare workers have tested positive for COVID-19 in Massachusetts: https://www.businessinsider.com.au/massachusetts-healthcare-workers-test-positive-for-covid-19-2020-3

This site reports hundreds of healthcare workers who tested positive for COVID-19.

Quote

Here are U.S. hospitals or other healthcare sites where employees have tested positive during the pandemic: https://www.beckershospitalreview.com/workforce/where-employees-have-tested-positive-for-covid-19-march-27-31.html

Quote

34 MUSC workers test positive for COVID-19: Officials are working to contact any patients who might have been exposed from a health care provider: https://www.wltx.com/article/news/health/coronavirus/34-musc-workers-test-positive-for-covid-19/101-dee520e1-b641-4724-a81d-ac243c6d38e8

Quote

https://www.oregonlive.com/coronavirus/2020/03/ten-providence-workers-have-tested-positive-for-covid-19.html

And how many more?

We did not sign up for this. I swear when this is all said and done, no administrator better ever tell us that something is "not in policy" because I'm pretty sure wearing correct PPE and not having to reuse it is also in policy but that is not being followed right now!

I am just a nursing student living in the new orleans area. Today my husband was watching the news and there as a nurse saying that they are only making a hundred more dollars a week. I was not paying attention to the story but I heard my husband say " then you shouldnt be a nurse". I stuck up for the nurse. I am only a student am already annoyed with this mentality from others. Ofcourse many nurses will still get up and go to work because that is thier job and they do care. but just already so sick of people insinuating that nurses should always act like selfless saints. Of course these times are different and everyone is making sacrifices but the minute nurses advocate for themselves they are labeled "bad" nurses.

Specializes in Psych.

For me the answer is this; I am an intelligent responsible individual who has a career in nursing. I respect the protocols and standards in place to protect the public and myself. I have the choice to martyr myself here or act (which is the hard part because it will include sacrifice) in the best interest of myself and others. As a martyr I go to work and work by ignoring standards (as told to by my employer) which causes cross contamination and increases my viral load increasing my chances of a poor outcome. People may say on social media I am a “hero” when really I am full of fear and not acting in a rational manner for fear of losing my job.

It is easy for me to say because I recently had to leave my full time job, retire early to care for a parent, but my belief is that this is the time to risk it all to advocate for yourself and your patients. Because by working you are increasing the problem. I would leave my job and encourage others to do the same in hopes of forcing the hand of corporations and government to step up. Now be they may still not do so. This protects you and others ultimately. And do not return until there is absolute assurance the standards can be met.

It is imperative I think to consider in your hearts of heart why your government would be so hands off and even hostile toward Governors leaving states to fend for themselves. There are motives.

All of this reminds me of the time I was not informed that my patient had AIDS when I was a student. I was not very happy about that situation. Nobody acted as if it were a big deal or that my welfare mattered. Same difference today but on such a larger scale.

Great article. We are thrown in a war without proper equipment. Yes we signed up for nurses ,as firefighters and police officers signed up for their jobs but do you send a firefighter to shut the fire with street clothes, or a police officer In a crime place without a gun!!