Was told by an aide that I'm not CUT OUT for Nursing

delta32 · Nov 18, 2004

Yesterday was a horrible day for me. I am externing on a Med-Surg floor and was told by an aide that she didn't think I was "cut-out" for nursing. I just came off of orientation and have worked a total of 4 days on the floor and she said that I'm not "cutting it." That maybe I should re-consider my career choice and that the medical field is not for everyone. I'm devastated. I have doubted myself constantly about my capabilities.... to the point that I completed my first year of nursing school and then dropped out this semester. I thought maybe externing would give me some much needed confidence and keep things fresh in my mind for when I start back next fall. Now.... I'm not even sure if I should waste any more time with this at all. I mean... she must be right. If I can't handle the duties of an aide-- then surely I won't "cut it" as a nurse.
I just have a hard time "prioritizing" my time and not sure of how the "flow" of things are suppose to go. I get so nervous sometimes and really lack self-confidence. But I love people... and truly care about making a difference. I just don't know what to do. I am 4 classes away of becoming a RN. I don't know if I should finish or take this aide's advice and throw in the towel now.

confidence comes with time, your are a first year nursing student at this point you know bits and pieces, when your are finished you will understand how to apply it all to gether, this does not mean that "you can't cut it as a nurse" because at this point you are a student, what she is comparing you too is a seasoned nurse. and i will tell you now as well when you finish school you will still be worried about being competent but again theses things come in time. hang in there. you will do fine.

jaimealmostRN · Nov 18, 2004

So far, my experience has been that the aides feel threatened by us nursing students and will do anything to make themselves feel better and like they have a higher rank than you. For instance, the aides at the place where I am doing clinicals will try to make you do their job. I just put my foot down and let them know what I was here to do and not to do.
I think you should use the same strategy. You said that you were there doing the externship to build up your confidence and clinical experience for the day you do become a nurse. So long as you know that you will be a nurse someday, hold your head up high, plug yourself into a couple of nurses (not aides) who can show you "the ropes" and learn from them. Know what you're there to do and do it!:)

I completely agree with this. On most of the floors I have done clinical on, there is at least one aide who is downright nasty or malicious to us. The one's who are not are the ones that are also nursing students. This leads me to believe that there is a lot of jealousy involved. Are you young and the aide is older? Maybe she's jealous of your success at such a young age? During my externship there was a receptionist that was my age, but not in any sort of school. The entire time she would try to find something to stump me on...never did heheh But I understood it was b/c she was not happy with her life and her own inaction. Good luck Tabby, do something to boost your confidance (like reading about the topic that led her to say this to you) and practice saying things like, "thats inappropirate" in the mirror. I know you can do this!!!!!!!

Tweety, BSN, RN · Nov 18, 2004

Can't add much to what has been said here. Give yourself a break, you're doing an excellent job.

I've been a nurse for 15 years and just got back onto a med-surg floor after being a charge nurse for many years. I struggle from day to day with those same issues. As someone said, confidence takes time. Don't let the trolls get you down. :)

julieK · Nov 18, 2004

Tell this aide to get a life! She has no business telling you what you are or are not cut out for. I have a feeling that if you asked anyone in the nursing field to describe her first four days on the job, she would hang her head in shame (or he). It's too early to learn time management yet, because you still need to learn how to do the tasks properly. Don't even allow this idiot to be a blip on your radar screen.

Also, what are you doing shadowing an aide? You should be with an RN!!!

Good luck,

-Julie

JACALA_CL · Nov 18, 2004

Yesterday was a horrible day for me. I am externing on a Med-Surg floor and was told by an aide that she didn't think I was "cut-out" for nursing. I just came off of orientation and have worked a total of 4 days on the floor and she said that I'm not "cutting it." That maybe I should re-consider my career choice and that the medical field is not for everyone. I'm devastated. I have doubted myself constantly about my capabilities.... to the point that I completed my first year of nursing school and then dropped out this semester. I thought maybe externing would give me some much needed confidence and keep things fresh in my mind for when I start back next fall. Now.... I'm not even sure if I should waste any more time with this at all. I mean... she must be right. If I can't handle the duties of an aide-- then surely I won't "cut it" as a nurse.
I just have a hard time "prioritizing" my time and not sure of how the "flow" of things are suppose to go. I get so nervous sometimes and really lack self-confidence. But I love people... and truly care about making a difference. I just don't know what to do. I am 4 classes away of becoming a RN. I don't know if I should finish or take this aide's advice and throw in the towel now.

i would (politely) tell that aide to mind her own beeswax!

(actually the words that I would say would be much different and subject to discipline . . . better go the polite route tabby)

NurseFeelGood · Nov 18, 2004

Hi
Your note made me so ANGRY!!:angryfire How dare you allow someone to get away with saying something like this to you!!
You have only worked what, 4 days!!! It is up to you to decide what is best for you!
Never, Ever let someone else have that much influence over you.
She is a CNA and perhaps feels threatened by you; or maybe she is jealous of the fact that you are really doing it--going for that RN! Who knows.
Only you can decide what is best for you. Other people--people you trust, your instructors, your fellow students, they can all give you feedback, but NO ONE makes that final decision but you.
Remember to be kind to yourself. Do you think that we all became what we are in a day?? Even when you finish school, it still takes time. No one just walks into the job and is perfect!!
I had been a nurse for about 12 years when I started to work the nite shift, it felt like I had never even worked one day, I was so disorganized. It took a long time before I finally was able to prioritize and organize my time. Now, after many years, people ask, How can you get it so together? Well, it is all time!! Give yourself a chance & take the time.
Remeber that the people who question themselves are usually the people who absolutely belong!!
Do not give up before you've even started. Please.
We need Good, caring, compassionate people in this profession.
We need people who care enough to question weather or not they are good enough.
Please, do not let this person decide your Life!!!
Mary Ann

Excellent point Mary Ann...Rome wasn't built in a day. Hang in there. I know I'm not fast and efficient with changing beds, giving baths etc. but give me a med cart and I can wheel and deal with the best of them hehe :chuckle My bet is that you will get it down and be great. Then you can go back and show her.

Imafloat, BSN, RN · Nov 18, 2004

Yesterday was a horrible day for me. I:sniff:

Tabby, don't quit. The feelings you have are completely normal. How well do you know this aide? I am not in the situation so I am not saying this is going on, but do you think she is jealous that you are so close to being a nurse. If nursing was easy it wouldn't be so hard to get through school. You can do it Tabby.

chilloutrelax · Nov 18, 2004

This is a good opportunity for you to work on your self confidence. Stick with it, I bet in a few weeks you will feel much more relaxed at work. This will build your confidence so much if you are able to overcome your feelings of doubt..and think to yourself, yes I can do this, that aide was wrong. I had a teacher say something rude to me last semester that had me in tears for weeks and I thought I would quit school. I just decided that I wouldn't let some b"""'s comments run my life, my FUTURE!, I wouldn't let my own insecurities and doubts take over my entire life. I'm so happy that b'''''' didn't bring me down, and I stuck with it. I am much more sure of myself now that I know that not all teachers think I"m an idiot or don't have potential in nursing.

mattsmom81 · Nov 18, 2004

There will always be someone out there who wants to 'bring you down'. Its imperative particularly in nursing that you know your strengths and weaknesses, be self motivated and self confident, and be able to be assertive in tense situations.

My advice is to develop a 'look' to deliver to people whose advice you have not asked for, nor do you value. It will serve you well. Good luck and do not let anyone effect your energy in a negative way if you're sure you're on the right path for you.

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Nov 18, 2004

Maybe your issues run a bit deeper than just listening to some low paid flunkie who probably hasn't the iq to get near the parking lot of your nursing school.

Very uncalled for.

leixlip · Nov 18, 2004

Very uncalled for.

Wasn't a personal attack on aides, just in this context, sorry.

bonjovigirl · Nov 18, 2004

Do not Ever EVER EVER let anyone anywhere let you feel inadequate. People are gonna say whatever they want, only you can let it get to you. You have the choice.

And there are alot of CNA's and PCT's who are mean to nursing students. I don't know why. I guess thats along the grain of nurses eating their young.