Was told by an aide that I'm not CUT OUT for Nursing

chris_at_lucas_RN, RN · Nov 17, 2004

Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but no one is entitled to express it where it is not wanted or warranted.

That girl is an aide. A-I-D-E.

If she could back her opinion up with professional experience, she'd be, uh, a professional.

I wouldn't give her or her opinion any credence. She needs to mind her own business.

You're a nurse--

tabbeycatt · Nov 17, 2004

Thank you all for your uplifting advice. :)

It really means a lot. I have wanted to be a nurse since my little boy was born (3 years ago). I had to have an emergency C-section and the nurses that took care of me were WONDERFUL. I was so scared and worried. One of my labor nurses even got permission to scrub in and go with me to surgery. THOSE nurses made a frightening experience turn out to be the BEST day in my life. I know I'm not stupid or uneducated by no means-- I even have an accounting degree. But that is my background-- Business not Medical. So I have kind of felt "out there in left field" since I have started nursing school. Ya know... just completely out of my element. I have made pretty good grades so far in nursing. All A's and B's. I have one instructor that I just truly admire and she tries to boost my confidence all the time. But it is so different from being in lab or the class room to actually hitting the floor and taking care of real people. I'm always second guessing myself and afraid of making a mistake and hurting someone. Clinicals weren't even as bad as working yesterday. I felt like my head was spinning. I guess I took what that aide said to heart because I doubt myself.... I think maybe I'm not doing things right... and then she comes along, starts telling me I haven't done this or why haven't I done that? She even made a comment about what I was wearing. I had on a pink scrub top and she just kind of looked me up and down and said... " Not everyone can carry off wearing pink like that." I hate confrontation and I worry when I think I've offended someone or if someone doesn't like me. It just really hurt my feelings when she said I wasn't cut out to be a nurse. I have questioned that about myself so many times and to hear someone else say it....I thought maybe she's right. I called my nursing supervisor and we are meeting in the morning. I told her I was feeling kind of "lost" and that I just wasn't catching on as fast as that aide thinks I should. She said she would put me in training with another aide and would get me up to bat in no time. I just hope she's right.

You are right about the "thick skin". My anatomy teacher told me he thought I was gonna make a great nurse but I needed to get some "thick skin". He said I was too nice and to NOT let people walk on me. I guess now I know what he is talking about.

Thanks again for listening to my woes and for your support.

akcarmean, LPN · Nov 17, 2004

You need to make your own decisions. Don't listen to one person. In any area if you are new to that area it will take some getting use to. Just b/c of the routine and placement of things. I work in HH and I only work per-diem the boy's mom rearranges things quite often. I feel disoriented when I work after she has moved things around. The nurse I am relieving never shows me I just have to look. Don't worry about 1 persons commit. You have come this far. You just need to make sure you follow your heart.

Angelia

Katmae RN · Nov 17, 2004

Tabbey people will always try to intimidate you in your career. It's part of the business. I doubt there is any place where you won't find at least one *****. Trust your own judgement of who you are and what you stand for. I never worked as a CNA or in the health profession at all until graduation. I worried over this but being an RN and being a CNA are two totally different areas. We as RN's can do there job however they cannot do ours. They have no training in any of the concepts which we use to give good care. They have no idea how we prioritize care. However they are invaluable, and a wonderful resource to RN's. The only way I would let that CNA's comment stop me from nursing is if indeed i was cold uncaring and ignorant. Good luck , Kathleen

Morguein · Nov 17, 2004

Tabby,

first of all, this Aide is NOT an RN. How the heck would she know if you'd make a good RN or not? I'm finding that the nursing/medical profession is FULL of these sort of mean-spirited people. I don't understand why that is. You sound like a very genuine nice person. I was exactly like you when I was in nursing school. I totally questioned my abilities. I did this even out of school and into the real world of nursing. It truly does take time to be comfortable with your abilities. It doesn't happen over night. I'm still learning to prioritize my time. I've been out of school for 2 years now and I'm just beginning to feel comfortable with what I do. You will have people slithering out from their rocks and undermining your abilities and making you feel inadequate; but trust yourself. You are going to do just fine. Plan your day out. Write a schedule down. Put down each hour you're going to be there and right next to each hour, write down the tasks that you want to do during those times. I realize that on most normal days, it doesn't work like clock-work, but it'll give you some gauge as to where you want to be at that hour. This will help you to stay on task. Anytime, you see a gap where there is nothing written during those hours, use that time to finish the stuff you didn't get done...or do those things that aren't high priority. Don't give up your dream. I believe you have what it takes to be an excellent nurse.

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Nov 17, 2004

Whether or not you cut out for nursing is something you must decide.

I think the aide was out of line for telling you that you weren't cutting it, and i would have asked her if she had anything else to do instead of giving her opiion on other people's business.

FutureIsBlue, LPN, LVN · Nov 17, 2004

The aide is f(*#*&@ stupid! Don't listen.

Keep your chin up. :)

weetziebat · Nov 17, 2004

Who the heck does she think she is to be judging you?? To me it sounds like sour grapes - she is envious and trying to put you down. Don't listen to her. It takes time after you become a nurse to feel comfortable and learning to prioritize is something you will learn with time. Remember getting your nursing license is just getting a license to learn - you have the basics but need to learn as you go.

Even if you aren't good at being a nursing assistant it does not mean you won't be a good nurse. They are not the same profession. Hang in there and don't listen to her. If it was a nursing instructor telling you that it might be different, but being so close to graduation, you must be doing something right. They don't let failures graduate from nursing school.

purplekath · Nov 18, 2004

Tabby don't you dare quit over this!! Here's a huge {{{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}} for you!! I think it's just part of nursing to have people come along and undermine your confidence. I'm quite a confident person myself, but still, every so often someone will take a chunk out of me. It happened just the other day actually - I was criticised in front of a client because MY priorities were not the same as my co-workers. I bit my lip, and later on she came up and apologised to me for being out of line - she explained that she was just tired and grouchy. We had a hug and all was well -- but not before I dissolved into tears and spent another hour getting myself together.

Two things to keep in mind:

1. This woman could have had ANY reason under the sun to be critical: she may have been tired, grouchy, had a fight with her husband, been jealous of you, felt overloaded that morning....there are a million reasons.

and

2. You KNOW that you are underconfident -- unfortunately underconfidence is often sniffed out like blood in a chicken coop by surly co-workers. So even if you don't FEEL confident, think up some "confident" answers for next time (and there will be a next time - there is for all of us)...I think I will start a thread on some cool ideas for this!! My first thought when I read this was that "Thomas Edison's teachers didn't think he was cut out for learning either...turned out THEY were wrong!" My second thought was a little simpler - to look her in the eye and say simply, "what a stupid thing to say.", and then turn on my heel and walk away.

In any case -- you have the HEART of a nurse...now you just need the time-management stuff. Time management can be learned...the heart of a nurse you're born with. So you already have the most important bit!! You hang in there...I'm going to start that other thread. That aide has made me cross!!!

Jennerizer, ASN, RN · Nov 18, 2004

Tabbeyyyyyyy,

Don't let this aide's comments get to you!!!!!!! Don't give anyone the power to figure out your future. If you want to be a nurse - go for it. I think externing is a great idea because it does give you a good feel for being around patients. I had a clinical instructor last year that tried to break my confidence. I had two choices...either cave in & believe what she was saying & quit school or PROVE HER WRONG! Guess which option I chose. :chuckle I simply coddled her by repeating "I appreciate what you're saying..." everytime she ranted or raved about something ridiculous. :coollook: If someone is putting you down, it's their problem, not yours. A normal person that saw you struggling would help you to do better, not cut you down. So anyone that cuts you down - they have something wrong mentally....at least that's what I tell myself. :rolleyes:

My pinning ceremony is just over a month away & I can't wait to see her have to basically eat her words & congratulate me for making it through the program. Anyways, my point is - you have to believe in yourself. I think it's normal to have doubts throughout the program - because we are learning so much at such a fast pace. But those doubts should simply re-energize you, not drag ya down. So keep doing your best at the extern job & figure out what it is that you want in the future & then go for it. Don't let anyone drag ya down, ok???

leixlip · Nov 18, 2004

Where do you live, I'm coming over to kick you in the tail! How could you even consider listening to an aide. Your problem is self-esteem not competence.

Maybe your issues run a bit deeper than just listening to some low paid flunkie who probably hasn't the iq to get near the parking lot of your nursing school.

Purple Princess · Nov 18, 2004

hey I'm a CNA and I get almost 10 dollars an hour. I've previously had some nurses training in a hospital and took a break but will go back. We are all important people in the resident's daily lives. But any profession takes time to learn and you can't learn everything in 4 days. A nurses aide duties are different then a nurses duties. I take pride in what i do. I comfort the ones that are in pain, sick or near death and calm the ones' that are confused a frightened so badly. I clean them, change linens, feed, help them go to the bathroom move around, talk to them and they thank me just for the simple things i do. If I see that somethings really not right like severe sob, sweating, abnormal fatigue, slurred speech, combative, confused more than usual, or god forbid having chest pain, seizure or choking. I know to get the nurse immediately or start cpr. Some aides do get snotty. I remember just getting ready to give someone a bed bath, the aide came in very gruff with me cause i didn't have it done yet, rough with the patient, and she did that bath in less than a minute i swear. this was in clinicals in the hospital. didn't even say hello to the lady or nothing. I know time management but hell you should have at least 5 to 10 minutes to do the care. but some aides , i hope this won't happen to me, get the idea that if they can handle 16 to 18 residents a piece why can't the rest of us? They act like they're better than everyone else.