One of my classmates came to me about a week and a half ago and asked for my phone #, she stated that she had a question to ask me?
(A little background, this is a girl who doesn't speak to me. In the past she's asked to see my notes right before exams.)
Anyway she calls me today (finals are tomorrow) and asks if she can have all my notes sent to her email so she can study them (I type all of my lecture notes). She said she has anemia and been sleeping all the time (I noticed her sleeping in class). After thinking about, I sad no. If she wanted to study w/me or have me help her with a area that she was having difficulty, I would have done it. But to just hand over my notes, my work so she can have "cliff-notes" to the class, NO. I am sorry.
We're allowed and even encouraged to share notes, form study groups, etc., so there are no issues of academic dishonesty. I felt weird the first few times I shared my notes with people (always via e-mail attachment, nothing would get shared until it was typed), but then they started sending me theirs too. Now I can always compare my study guide to the 3 or 4 I get in return, and even if I think mine might be the most thorough, I always find a few things on someone else's that I didn't include. Plus, most of what I learn I learn while creating my study guide, not by reading it. I only look at it once or twice after it's made, I spend most of my study time doing questions. Everyone learns in their own way, and I decided last semester that it can't hurt me to help my classmates out, and it might help me if I need help later on.
There is a difference of sharing notes with classmates that are working hard but struggling and classmates that are just sponging off of those students that are working hard in school.
Wonder why I'm not surprised that the recipient of the notes walked by several times without so much as a hi much less a thank you. If someone had been so generous with me, I would have at least said thank you. Like the OP said, a lesson to be learned here. And by the way, I've been told that I'm seriously anemic for years on end, and I've never used that as an excuse to get other people to do my work for me. Somebody is taking advantage of anyone who is gullible.
i'm the black sheep here, but i would have emailed her the notes.
life happens and nursing school is hard enough. if someone needs help, i try to help, period. i might need the favor returned someday.
just my $.02.
i woould have e-mailed it to her as well. it is typed already so you do not have to do extra work. all you have to do is attach the file and click the send button. less than 5 mins you're done. but that is me.
on the side note, i always type my notes as well and i have everyone's e-mail and i just choose to send it to everybody even if they don't ask for it. i tell them "hey you can use it if it helps."
we are all there for the same reason-to be a nurse. why not help each other out? now i know that if i needed help with something, i would get it.
this is just my opinion, but there seems to be quite a bit of judgement going on against your fellow classmates. maybe i feel a bit like the person who asked for the notes as i have done so in the past, but it isn't b/c i don't do the work myself. this semester i found myself in the position that i felt i needed to ask someone (who i don't really care for or hang out with) for their notes. she does well in class though. i did really poorly on two of five exams this semester. i had done all of the prep work, but still did poorly. i found that looking at her notes helped me b/c there was info she put in her notes that i had left out. often, there were exam questions on the material that she put in her notes that i had left out. i type up my notes and study guides and she only handwrites hers. i still took her notes and typed them up, which is a big part of my learning process. it was very difficult for me to approach her to ask for her notes. i did thank her.
also, regarding whether you "feel someone is trying": the classmate i asked for her to share the notes with me, did not think i did any of the learning objectives on my own and still gave them to me. i found out after the final that she didn't know i did my own stuff. she found out b/c another student who i shared my notes with and have for the past 2 semesters came up and thanked me for my cardiac study guide that i put together. about 10 questions on the final had info that came from my study guide, that wasn't a learning objective, but i put it on there b/c i thought it was important info that i just wanted to know for later on. i also skip class sometimes. i have an hour and 20 minute drive one way to class and sometimes i feel it is more productive for me to spend the time reading and running through nclex books for questions, than to make the trip to class.
i know this is a lengthy post, but i just wanted to give you the perspective of someone who has been humbled enough to have to ask for help and thankful for a person that was willing to help even though she probably doesn't care for me as a person. i am thankful to all the fellow students who have shared their info and experiences with me and hopefully someone out there is thankful for me and my info. i think that nursing school is hard enough and that we should help each other instead of having a me vs. them attitude.
just my $0.02 worth!
the difference i see here is you are thankful when you get help - this individual apparently is not. any time anyone does anything to help, it seems common courtesy to at least say thank you.
No, you weren't mean by not handing over your notes. Your notes are your property, and your thoughts. It's completely up to you what you choose to do with them. I, for one, am very protective of my notes and other papers. I rarely lend them out.
Good for you sticking by your guns and doing what you feel is right. :)
I'm getting cynical in my old age. So she tells you she is anemic and that's it, she's anemic? I have worked with nurses who were abusing drugs (yes, they got caught and disciplined eventually), and they would just say 'I'm so tired, been up too long today'. My point is you don't really know, just because she said so. Any chance she said that to just get the ol sympathy factor going so you would give her the notes?
Her actions just prior to finals (and after the finals were finished) make me think she would prefer to have others do as much work for her as possible whenever possible. Do I know her well and know all this for sure? Absolutely not. But I tend to think if it looks like a skunk and smells like a skunk, most often it is a skunk. Exceptions do exist.
I would have done as you did, give her some to help her out, but probably not everything. People earn your trust and respect in life, including your classmates. Can't say as I have read anything on this thread so far that makes me think she has made any efforts along that route. I help classmates all the time, but it is a result of having developed a relationship of mutual respect/admiration/friendship. Approaching someone right before finals with a problem that existed earlier in the semester doesn't seem to be quite the same.
here's my take. do with it what you will. i was averaging an a in the middle of last semester (2nd semester rn). my heart is tender toward my class. it is my desire to see us all pass as a whole. i know that it is not going to happen, but i still pray for mutual success. we have a website group in yahoo groups. i began by transcribing our lecture notes online so that those who did not have a recorder could make sure they had all of the information. nothing fancy, just a plain unorganized transcript. after the tests, i would post my notes so that they could see how i organized them. there were a couple of times i posted prior to the test also. because the way i look at it is, if you haven't studied well so far..one night with my notes is not going to fix it for you. however, i am a very visual learner. and if i can get ahold of the same information said in two or three different ways, it helps me understand the material. so, no, i don't mind letting people have my notes. as a matter of fact, i spent time with a core study group teaching and learning with them with my (and sometimes "our") notes.
that a? i finished with a b (you have to have an 80 or above in our class to pass). the b hurt my feelings a little, because i knew i could have done better and that the time i spent helping others learn would have secured my a if i had have spent it in personal study time. but! i have helped people. that is the whole point anyhow. that is the heart of a nurse. and if i had to go back and do it all over ...i'd take the b again. b equals rn. and a b equals friends that are there to pick you up should you ever fall. if you are not strong enough to pass while helping others, then i say take care of you first. if you are just trying to fluff your already passing grade then i pray you are not the nurse i have to have when i am sick. i want someone who genuinely cares and is willing to give of themselves for others.
Yes, I know Nursing Instructors tell you that the entire class should bond and act as one. Study together, form study groups, etc. Sorry, I really don't learn that way, myself. I find that labor is not evenly divided, some slack, and some just run their mouths during valuable study time. So I really don't adhere to the, we're all in this together thinking. Nursing is the only program I have ever seen that the students are told to think of the program as a team sport. The classes are held during a posted time and the benefit of lecture is there for all of the students. If a person needed your entire notebook of notes, they have a serious problem. I would not have given the notes to them. A day, sure. The whole enchilada, no way. I'm not saying sink or swim, but they need to apply themselves like you have.
Yes, I know Nursing Instructors tell you that the entire class should bond and act as one. Study together, form study groups, etc. Sorry, I really don't learn that way, myself. I find that labor is not evenly divided, some slack, and some just run their mouths during valuable study time. So I really don't adhere to the, we're all in this together thinking. Nursing is the only program I have ever seen that the students are told to think of the program as a team sport. The classes are held during a posted time and the benefit of lecture is there for all of the students. If a person needed your entire notebook of notes, they have a serious problem. I would not have given the notes to them. A day, sure. The whole enchilada, no way. I'm not saying sink or swim, but they need to apply themselves like you have.
But nursing IS a team sport. I'm the first one to admit that I hated group projects when I was stuck working with lame partners however that is a sad fact of life. If you and your team won't work together to help each other your patients will suffer.
If it in some way compromised your grade I'd say no way also but sending an email to me is pretty painless. This thread makes me sad especially because I'm working next to some of you now, sigh.
One of my classmates came to me about a week and a half ago and asked for my phone #, she stated that she had a question to ask me?
(A little background, this is a girl who doesn't speak to me. In the past she's asked to see my notes right before exams.)
Anyway she calls me today (finals are tomorrow) and asks if she can have all my notes sent to her email so she can study them (I type all of my lecture notes). She said she has anemia and been sleeping all the time (I noticed her sleeping in class). After thinking about, I sad no. If she wanted to study w/me or have me help her with a area that she was having difficulty, I would have done it. But to just hand over my notes, my work so she can have "cliff-notes" to the class, NO. I am sorry.
But was that mean?
Nope, not mean to me. I spent 10 hours hunting down homework one day and brought it into class. Some people did not finish theirs because they felt it "took too much time to do". So one of the girls asked for my homework so she can copy it.:angryfire I never laughed so hard in my life. I had to ask her if she was crazy. After that initial response I started asking myself if I handled the situation wrong or if my reaction was mean. Then I realized that there are some predators in the program who will prey on the "nerdy", the "organized", the "assertive", and "smart" so they can pass. So you have to be straightforward and show them that they have to work hard for it just like you are doing. AND that you are not the pushover type.
As an instructor, I love to see students coming together and studying as a group, helping each other. I was not an A student in school, and made sure I was in a study group. But I did NOT purposely form study groups with the A students, I studied with my friends (who did well, and we worked well together as a group). I just think that is wrong to purposely seek out these people to study with. it's like dating someone because they have money. Where I teach, we encourage non-competitive environment. When students are struggling, their classmates help them, they DON'T carry them. I do NOT believe that someone should expect that a fellow classmate should just hand over their notes to them, especially in this case. This girl does not even talk to her, did it at the last minute (I'm sure it didn't help her much anyway), and no acknowledgment of her help whatsoever!! Sorry, this girl is a leech.
And yes, while you guys are all in this for the same reason, it is painfully obvious that some of you want it more than others, and will do whatever it takes, and understand the importance of taking the responsibility to achieve your goals.
For those of you who do share your notes with classmates, that is great, and my guess is, there has to be a few people that you have encountered in your studies that are like the girl in the OP. Most of you guys work so hard to accomplish your goals. Truth be told, if I saw a leech in action in my class, I'd be tempted to tell the person he or she is leeching off of to be very careful (I don't think I actually would tho).
And my thought about Karma: I find it interesting that some of you think the OP will have karma stricken back at her. What this girl was thinking (about not sharing her notes) is not vindictive or evil; she takes pride in her work and feels the other girl was taking advantage of her. I also don't believe that the other girl in the scenario is being vindictive either, she just needs a reality check about what she needs to do to get through nursing school. And just like any behavior in life, if you let someone get away with negative behaviors, they will...but for only so long. If someone cheats and lies their way through, they will eventually hit a brick wall. As much as the girl in question may want this, she will eventually pay a dear price, whether it be next semester, or while taking NCLEX, or out in the real world. You can't mooch of of someone else's notes to help you save a life.
MB37
1,714 Posts
We're allowed and even encouraged to share notes, form study groups, etc., so there are no issues of academic dishonesty. I felt weird the first few times I shared my notes with people (always via e-mail attachment, nothing would get shared until it was typed), but then they started sending me theirs too. Now I can always compare my study guide to the 3 or 4 I get in return, and even if I think mine might be the most thorough, I always find a few things on someone else's that I didn't include. Plus, most of what I learn I learn while creating my study guide, not by reading it. I only look at it once or twice after it's made, I spend most of my study time doing questions. Everyone learns in their own way, and I decided last semester that it can't hurt me to help my classmates out, and it might help me if I need help later on.