Was I a complete idiot for wanting to get into OB? Now I'm lost and don't know what to do with my life.

[RubyJuly2020]

When I was a freshmen in high school, my friend’s mom was a Labor and Delivery nurse. She talked about her job often, and I always found her stories fascinating. I would ask tons of questions, and she noticed I was super interested in OB nursing so she invited me, her daughter, and a group of students from our class, to come to the hospital and show us around. She took us to a class room and talked to us about her job. Showed us different instruments used during labor, and described the process. She even showed us real placenta. Everyone found it gross and uninteresting, but honestly I loved every minute of it. I knew that’s what I wanted to do when I grew up. No other career excited me in any way. Well I graduated high school, went to college and got into nursing school.

Once I was in nursing school, I realized that half the nursing students in my cohort wanted OB. I was shocked and disappointed that area was so popular. There are only 3 delivery hospital areas in my area, so obviously not all of us could work there. I also looked online and found out how popular this specialty was, and how extremely difficult it is to get into. My heart sunk. All this work for a pipe dream, when I thought it was a realistic plan. During my clinical rotation I met a nurse that told me she applied to OB several times in the last ten years and couldn't get in. From what I saw she was an excellent nurse, so if she can’t get in, how can I. I was an average student. I absolutely loved learning and my clinical rotations, but nothing about me stands out as an excellent nurse. Other students in my cohort were much smarter, and far more gifted. I’m just OK. I feel like I wasted my life. Other areas of nursing are fine, but not anywhere near as exciting and special to me. I had one day in clinical at the labor and delivery unit, and I thought, this is it! I’ll never work here, but at least I had one day to live my dream. Best day of nursing school ever, even cried after. I graduated nursing school and never took the NCLEX. Every time I sat down to study I got depressed. I feel sick when I think about nursing, and now don’t know what to do. My family is extremely disappointed in me not taking the NCLEX, and just having a minimum wage job. I’m thinking about taking the NCLEX and getting a normal floor job, even though it doesn’t have a strong appeal to me. I feel like an idiot, and wish I could back in time an punch myself. Why did I think it would be so easy? I also had a clinical in the OR and loved it. I looked it up and found out that was hard to get into also but not impossible. from what I understand the hospitals only accept pari-op once a year and there is no guarantee of getting a seat. Any advice would help.

[Subee2, BSN, MSN, CRNA]

For the OP: Many inexperienced nursing students romanticize OB. In reality, bringing a new citizen into the world brings heaps and heaps of paperwork. I don't know how they do it. Many births are just sad because you know that teenage mom with a 30 year old mother with no education are going to make for a sad childhood. If you really want to do it, go for geographical distribution and live wherever you have to live to get into the field.

[jobellestarr]

I have a term for this and call it reconciling your dreams. Not all dreams come to fruition and we just make other ones, right? You haven’t lost anything but a little time and you actually don’t know that you wouldn’t like any other area. Nursing is weird that way. So, here’s my story. I too was convinced that I wanted to be a LandD nurse (after many years of infertility, a high risk pregnancy and a horrific delivery) and did land a L and D job as a new grad. And I absolutely hated it with the same passion that I was sure I would love it. So, somehow, I found myself in the specialty of organ transplant and I loved it. I spent 20 years working in big teaching hospitals and then proceeded to live on an Indian reservation for the next 10 years, working in M/S, ICU and infectious control and I loved that too. Good luck to you!

[RNNPICU, BSN, RN]

On 3/21/2020 at 11:22 PM, RubyJuly2020 said:

RNNPICU, BSN, RN,

Thank you for your reply. I know there is nothing stopping me, but the competition for a very popular specialty threw me off. I wasn't really expecting it. I was just an average student nurse. Nothing about me stood out, and I feel getting a highly coveted job will be very difficult. I don't want to keep letting that get in my way of passing the NCLEX. There are other areas of nursing I enjoyed and maybe yes there is a possibility I get a in OB one day. Thank you for the motivation.

Again, being an average student has absolutely zero to do with getting into a specialty. Talk to the person who let you shadow. Ask them what makes a new grad a good candidate. Again, just because half you class indicated an interest does not mean that they will actually go through with applying.

Did you speak to any other nurse during your clinical rotation? Your opinion of the one nurse who you perceived as excellent may have struggled in her other position. She may not even be the top nurse on the unit. Her story on how she got to her specialty is unique to her. You perceived her one way, but her practice may be different. Additionally, she may have applied to 10 different positions, but hard to say how she came across in an interview. So many factors that you don't know in a brief conversation and from the eyes of a student.

Again, take the NCLEX, at least give yourself a chance, you deserve at least that. Maybe try and schedule a longer shadow day I.e 2 hours if possible. Find out from others what there experience is.

Best of luck

[Wuzzie]

Wanting to work in OB does not make you an idiot. Throwing away your education because there’s a chance you won’t get what you want when you want it is an entirely different story. Time to put on the big girl panties and make the best of it. You never know...you might find your niche in an entirely different specialty.

[Pepper The Cat, BSN, RN]

Not taking the NCLEX 100% guarantees that you will not get a job in OB.

Take the NCLEX and then take things from there. Yes, you may not get your dream job right away, but you can always work towards it

[NRSKarenRN, BSN, RN]

Re NCLEX: "Every time I sat down to study I got depressed..."

Please talk with your PCP about this situation. Discuss any difficulty you had in learning and self report of depression. Many adults surprised to find they have a learning disability or underling mental health issue easily resolved with counseling or medication. Being in the best mental health will make studying for NCLEX 100% easier. Others have offered sage advise to get moving!

Check out our NCLEX section for ideas to pass this exam. https://allnurses.com/NCLEX-exam-programs-c133/

PS: As a previous hiring Manager, I liked hiring "average" grads as would often roll with the punches of unit rather than always looking for perfection.

Best wishes moving forward.

[klone, MSN, RN]

Wait, so you decided to not take the NCLEX because you've decided that you will never get a job in OB?

You know what will NEVER EVER get you a job in OB? Not taking your NCLEX. Good golly, take the test, then start applying for jobs. That's the only way you will get a job in OB.

As a hiring manager, I pay no attention on how you did in nursing school (in fact, how would I even know? It's not like you put your school transcripts in your resume or job application). What will get you hired is a) actually having a nursing license, and b) nailing your interview.

[zbb13]

WOW!. You admitted defeat before you even began. I agree with all the above. If you hadn’t taken your first nursing class, you would never have taken the last one. You persisted. You graduated. Now you take the next step....you study and you take the exam. Then you find a counselor of some sort to help you through the next part...building up your confidence.

My dream was to do L and D. For years. Despite all the nay-sayers (I did not work as a CNA or in any capacity in a hospital setting while I was in nursing school. I was raising my kids), I passed NCLEX and then I trusted that if G-d wanted me to have that job, not having practical experience wouldn’t matter one iota. I made my effort. I networked. And a couple of months after graduation, I was offered a L and D job. It was surreal and I did a huge happy dance.

I was willing to take something else, almost anything else. And by the way, I didn’t do well at it and I moved to Mother Baby, which was my perfect home. So much for that!

You will never know unless you begin the journey. And yes, it may take you elsewhere. Wherever you are meant to be.

[SteelGrey]

Girl -brush the dust off you pants, and get going! Take the NCLEX and get grooving. Even if OB was impossible to get into right away, it is possible. Be willing to try other things to gain experience and use as a stepping stone!

There is soo much awesome stuff in Nursing, but you can't shrivel up and die if every single move doesn't go as planned.

And you didn't even try, so you can't even say it's not possible. I got into L&D as a new grad--its totally possible, you just need to be aggressive, motivated and never give up.

Also, you could freaking hate OB once your actually the nurse and you find out your responsibilities, and realities of the job. Birth is amazing, but theres are a good 11 hours or so of a 12 hour shift spent doing things that are not glamorous and amazing.

But don't despair, you said you liked the OR. You don't know what you don't know. The sky is the limit. You got this.

[Nurse SMS, MSN, RN]

Never let your fear of failure rob you of the opportunity to try anyway.

[Subee2, BSN, MSN, CRNA]

20 hours ago, SteelGrey said:

Girl -brush the dust off you pants, and get going! Take the NCLEX and get grooving. Even if OB was impossible to get into right away, it is possible. Be willing to try other things to gain experience and use as a stepping stone!

There is soo much awesome stuff in Nursing, but you can't shrivel up and die if every single move doesn't go as planned.

And you didn't even try, so you can't even say it's not possible. I got into L&D as a new grad--its totally possible, you just need to be aggressive, motivated and never give up.

Also, you could freaking hate OB once your actually the nurse and you find out your responsibilities, and realities of the job. Birth is amazing, but theres are a good 11 hours or so of a 12 hour shift spent doing things that are not glamorous and amazing.

But don't despair, you said you liked the OR. You don't know what you don't know. The sky is the limit. You got this.

Do you really think that birth is "glamorous and amazing":):):)?

[ScrubsGlitterandLilly]

I knew I always wanted to do OB. I actually wanted to be a midwife going through nursing school (not now after seeing what all the OBs deal with). OB was my first rotation and I loved it. The rest of my clinicals I just felt like I was going through the motions just doing what I needed to do to graduate and get back into OB. I got a job in OB right out of nursing school. I have been there almost 4 years and while there are ups and downs, I couldn’t imagine doing anything else. Looking back, I probably should have gotten a year or 2 under my belt in med surg but I don’t regret my path one bit. Good luck to you!