Walking away from nursing after 8 months

[HeyHeyitsMaay]

I graduated from my PN program in August, 2009. I was immediately hired to work in LTC. I absolutely ADORE it! It doesn't even feel like work when I'm with the residents.

I am the NOC shift LPN for our facility. Last night we found one of our only full codes face down in a large amount of emesis, unconscious. We had another resident sitting at the edge of her bed happily engaging in coprophagia. Still another with multiple as yet unfound skin impairments that needed measuring, cleansing and wound care as they were open and bleeding. As you all know, with each incident that arises, there are scads of paperwork to complete. So I had a social services consult, 2 3 page incident reports one for the fall and one for the resident eating her feces as well as one for the skin impairments as well as treatments to add to the MAR for said skin impairments, charting to do on each resident, detailed physician faxes to write and send re: the aforementioned incidents w/the 3 residents. Charting for the rest of the residents, and the rest of the tasks associated w/regular NOC shift duties.

When the 2 day shift nurses arrived, I still hadn't completed the paperwork that needed to be done, and we had a resident that needed a suppository (they're given on my shift at our facility) that I hadn't gotten to yet.

I was also jumped on because our 2 NOC aides didn't get anyone out of bed for day shift. Even though it's already been discussed NUMEROUS TIMES that NOC aides are not responsible for this unless a resident is awake.

I went to grab the suppository that I forgot to give and the entire refrigerator door fell off in my hand.

In the meantime I have an RN telling me it's o.k. to cry, when I'm absolutely fine. All I want is to get my work done correctly. This particular RN is very sensitive and when the refrigerator door fell off in my hand, I was yelled at to get out of the way, and I finally said: Look. I want to fix this, and go home. I honestly just want to go home. I've had enough for one night.

The sensitive RN thought I was mad that she lectured me about calling the unconscious resident's husband and then told the other nurse that she was going to talk to our boss because I responded with "I haven't called her husband yet..she's in the ER, with stable vitals, I am finishing my work and calling her husband will be done before I leave today." The resident was found at 4, end of shift is at 6. I should've called the resident's husband immediately, of course. And I'm perfectly o.k. with being admonished and taught, I'm a brand new LPN!

But the drama associated with being a nurse, is just something that I'm not built for. My people skills are impeccable. I have a gift for loving others in the truest sense of that word. But when it comes to interpersonal nonsense that gift is just not applicable to me.

So after sitting at the nurses station trying to handle my responsibilities so that I left nothing for day shift, and being ******* at because our aides didn't get anyone out of bed, I calmly finished the things I needed to get done, grabbed a post-it, and wrote out my 2 week notice. I then stuck it under my bosses door, clocked out, and went home.

I have adult ADD. I am very, very self conscious about it because it's devastating for anyone who has to come after me and clean up a mess. I make meticulous lists for everything that I'm required to do to ensure that I forget nothing. Otherwise, I will forget everything. People have asked me if I'm stupid, or if there's something wrong with me when there are deviations from what I'm accustomed to and I get confused and don't understand what's going on. Just the other day a nurse moved our carts around and put one cart where the other cart normally was and vice versa... both sets of keys to both carts have keys for each cart on them, so the nurse handed me the key for the cart, I opened it and just stood there confused and trying to understand what was wrong. I didn't say anything because I was trying to understand why the cart had nothing in it that it was supposed to have, and she stood there laughing at me and telling me that something was wrong with me.

I love nursing. But the minutiae associated with our jobs, coupled with the constant drama is something that I fail miserably at and I'm so sad that I have to walk away like this.

It's time for me to get a job at Wal-Mart.

[gtoko]

Whew , you had a bad day. Happens to everyone. You seem like a caring and compassionate nurse, dont let a bad day ruin everything. Can you talk with your manager about this?

Think of how hard you worked to get your license, dont give up.

Good luck and keep us posted:)

[classicdame, MSN, EdD]

it will get better when you learn to delegate better, know how to enforce policies, know your resources and time management, etc. But if this job tends to be over much, consider another location before dropping nursing all together. You are a valuable asset to the patients.

[SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN]

Oh, honey, I'm sorry.

Don't give up. It gets better. Supposedly.

[JB2007, ASN, RN]

I feel for you. I have adult ADD and it can be difficult to stay organized and forcused in a profession where there are constantly distractions. I am not the most organized of nurses, but I get the job done and I get it done well. My work area looks like a tornado went through most of the day, but it works and I know where everything is at any given time. It is my system and it works for me. It really amazes my neat freak co-workers. I make sure that I put everything away at the end of my shift and everyone is happy.

I am sorry that you work with some co-workers that sound not so nice. Moving stuff around just to mess with you is completely unkind. They obviously have too much time on their hands and should be assigned more tasks. Do not give up on yourself if you like the job and do not let those unkind co-workers get you down.

[One Flew Over]

How about trying something new? Like an assisted living, or home health? :redpinkhe

[OldMareLPN]

Take a deep breath.

Read alot of the historical postings on this website, and you will find many people who will NEVER again work in a nursing home again. Join the crowd, don't take it personal and remember you know how compassionate and skilled you are!

You should look into homecare nursing. The pay and benefits are lousy but you truly get to use your nursing skills and should enjoy the 121 contact.

There are sooooo many options outside of nursing homes so give yourself a break and find the right fit.

Be safe, happy and compassionate.

[oramar]

I think you are being bullied.

[nelpn2rn]

I'm so sorry you had such a rough day. Don't give up on something that you love because of your coworkers. Why not look at working somewhere else? A new area may be helpful. It seems like you are excellent at what you do especially as a new grad! I know I was no where near that organized by that time. Best of luck to you. :)

[Ms.RN]

I think wal mart job is going to bore you to death. You just had a bad day. Go home and do something nice and forget about your work, come back the next day and start fresh. My supervisor used to tell me I needed a backbone where I can stand up for myself and I am in charge of the unit not the cenas. Explain to cenas why you didnt get patient up and if they are unreasonable, then tell them to go talk to a unit manager.

[Moogie]

You may be in a toxic work environment. That's unfortunately, very common in LTC because everyone gets stressed and takes it out on each other. You are especially vulnerable to bullying because you are new. This whole day shift attacking nocs because nocs didn't get enough people up----dealt with that all the time when I worked LTC. The DON lacked a backbone and never said a word to defend her night staff, so the attacks continued. Perhaps your DON is more understanding and would listen to your concerns? I agree that your co-workers moving things around to make you look and feel incompetent is just evil. I should hope someone would write them up for doing that---and rightfully so.

Yes, it is hard to work when you have ADD. But it sounds like you have figured out ways to organize your work in the way that works best for you. It sounds like you have the ability to be very successful as a nurse.

Please don't give up. The first few sentences of your post say volumes:

I graduated from my PN program in August, 2009. I was immediately hired to work in LTC. I absolutely ADORE it! It doesn't even feel like work when I'm with the residents.

You might need a change of work environment but please don't give up nursing. You are too good and conscientious a nurse to let the jerks drive you away from something you love.

I am so sorry this is happening to you. If I were your DON, I sure would not want to lose you. :hug:

[Katie5]

It might be hard to see it now. But there is a silver lining behind every cloud. Yours is trying to peek trhough. It's easier said than done, I know and truly understand.

I started to type, that if you run away from this, that you would always be running. But you know what, sometimes it is good to be a coward and leave a situation that cannot get better. Go find yourself some other place and start afresh.

Don't let this comma in your career become the full-stop of it. There's life and dang it, there WILL be hope!