I graduated from my PN program in August, 2009. I was immediately hired to work in LTC. I absolutely ADORE it! It doesn't even feel like work when I'm with the residents.
I am the NOC shift LPN for our facility. Last night we found one of our only full codes face down in a large amount of emesis, unconscious. We had another resident sitting at the edge of her bed happily engaging in coprophagia. Still another with multiple as yet unfound skin impairments that needed measuring, cleansing and wound care as they were open and bleeding. As you all know, with each incident that arises, there are scads of paperwork to complete. So I had a social services consult, 2 3 page incident reports one for the fall and one for the resident eating her feces as well as one for the skin impairments as well as treatments to add to the MAR for said skin impairments, charting to do on each resident, detailed physician faxes to write and send re: the aforementioned incidents w/the 3 residents. Charting for the rest of the residents, and the rest of the tasks associated w/regular NOC shift duties.
When the 2 day shift nurses arrived, I still hadn't completed the paperwork that needed to be done, and we had a resident that needed a suppository (they're given on my shift at our facility) that I hadn't gotten to yet.
I was also jumped on because our 2 NOC aides didn't get anyone out of bed for day shift. Even though it's already been discussed NUMEROUS TIMES that NOC aides are not responsible for this unless a resident is awake.
I went to grab the suppository that I forgot to give and the entire refrigerator door fell off in my hand.
In the meantime I have an RN telling me it's o.k. to cry, when I'm absolutely fine. All I want is to get my work done correctly. This particular RN is very sensitive and when the refrigerator door fell off in my hand, I was yelled at to get out of the way, and I finally said: Look. I want to fix this, and go home. I honestly just want to go home. I've had enough for one night.
The sensitive RN thought I was mad that she lectured me about calling the unconscious resident's husband and then told the other nurse that she was going to talk to our boss because I responded with "I haven't called her husband yet..she's in the ER, with stable vitals, I am finishing my work and calling her husband will be done before I leave today." The resident was found at 4, end of shift is at 6. I should've called the resident's husband immediately, of course. And I'm perfectly o.k. with being admonished and taught, I'm a brand new LPN!
But the drama associated with being a nurse, is just something that I'm not built for. My people skills are impeccable. I have a gift for loving others in the truest sense of that word. But when it comes to interpersonal nonsense that gift is just not applicable to me.
So after sitting at the nurses station trying to handle my responsibilities so that I left nothing for day shift, and being ******* at because our aides didn't get anyone out of bed, I calmly finished the things I needed to get done, grabbed a post-it, and wrote out my 2 week notice. I then stuck it under my bosses door, clocked out, and went home.
I have adult ADD. I am very, very self conscious about it because it's devastating for anyone who has to come after me and clean up a mess. I make meticulous lists for everything that I'm required to do to ensure that I forget nothing. Otherwise, I will forget everything. People have asked me if I'm stupid, or if there's something wrong with me when there are deviations from what I'm accustomed to and I get confused and don't understand what's going on. Just the other day a nurse moved our carts around and put one cart where the other cart normally was and vice versa... both sets of keys to both carts have keys for each cart on them, so the nurse handed me the key for the cart, I opened it and just stood there confused and trying to understand what was wrong. I didn't say anything because I was trying to understand why the cart had nothing in it that it was supposed to have, and she stood there laughing at me and telling me that something was wrong with me.
I love nursing. But the minutiae associated with our jobs, coupled with the constant drama is something that I fail miserably at and I'm so sad that I have to walk away like this.
You can and will get past this and God will give you the strength to conquer this situation. Your supervisor can not give another nurse your shift. You gave a 2 weeks notice. I agree with the person that said it is truly her lost. I appreciate the nurses that has come to encourage you. We really do need each other. His grace is sufficient and his strenght is made perfect in your weakness. It is in our weakness that he is strong. Be encourage Daughter of Zion. What the devil meant for bad just know God will turn it around and work it out in your favor. No weapon formed against you shall prosper.
I walked away from nursing once. It took a few years of healing for my damaged psyche. But, the time off and away gave me what i needed to get past the burn-out. I am happily back working in LTC in a well staffed facility. God has smiled on me!
As another nurse in LTC with pretty severe ADHD, i am just wondering if you are currently
taking medication for the ADHD? I take a very low dose, during the day, which sure helps me
a whole lot at work! I can focus so much better, and am generally much calmer. Yes, you had
a horrible night, and it may indeed be a toxic work environment (as previous poster had mentioned)
so maybe it was the breaking point at that facility for you....but i would hate to see someone with a right heart for nursing walk away from it altogether. Maybe God is opening a door for you in another nursing environment?
Good luck to you. It is your facilities loss, they have lost a very good nurse...
Like the others said, don't give up something you love. I've worked LTC before and it's not easy work. You care for 30 plus residents and family members. I've had some horrible shifts in the day! Some others suggested assisted living, home health, and hospice. Check these out. You sound like a loving and compationate nurse. Hang in there and please, thank your husband for his service to our country.
Like others said from your posting, Don't give up nursing. But, do take this as a life lesson, to always sleep on any big decision you have. I, too, have learned the hard way that sometimes you can't take back words or notes. When things get bad and you may want an out, sleep on it.. Then in the am, if you still feel that way, take a minute to weigh the pros and cons, even write them on paper. I try to live by this and believe it or not when anything bad happens, I always feel better in the morning and have a different outlook. I may come to the same conclusion as the night previously, but I have better insight and know that it is not a decision on a whim. Good luck and hope you will continue to serve those in need with your compassionate nursing skills.
I actually found out after I put in my notice that there was a formal investigation opened because it was thought by someone that I left the resident that coded w/hepatic failure facedown, on the floor in her own vomit, for 4 hours.
Since we do rounds q 3 hours, that's absurd. Since I am desperately in love w/all of those residents & have been noted for that repeatedly, it's even more absurd.
I was not informed about the investigation by my supervisor, and one of the aides i was working with that night sent me a text message on my phone to inform me.
I told my boss that I would not be working my last shift of my 2 week notice out of fear for my license related to the way the situation was handled. I was not interviewed, she never planned to inform me of the investigation because she said quote "I didn't need to" and I was given a no re-hire status due to informing my boss more than 2 days before said shift that I would not be working as a result of said investigation.
I was more than disgusted at my supervisor's behavior because she was angry that I gave notice. I am still very let down that she deliberately defied all personnel policies to go out of her way to make sure I could never work there again. And you better believe, I wrote the newspaper, the hospital CEO, HR & the hospital board of directors upon her declaration that I received a no re-hire status because I was "unreliable" even though I'd never been written up or even had informal counsel & had no previous history of not showing up for work.
And so in closing, thank God I gave my notice the way I did. I have no idea what I'm going to do about references once I do go back to work when my husband comes home, but I suppose I'll deal w/that when I get there. I thank all of you for your awesome advice. It's helped me IMMEASURABLY w/this situation.
2brn09
288 Posts
You can and will get past this and God will give you the strength to conquer this situation. Your supervisor can not give another nurse your shift. You gave a 2 weeks notice. I agree with the person that said it is truly her lost. I appreciate the nurses that has come to encourage you. We really do need each other. His grace is sufficient and his strenght is made perfect in your weakness. It is in our weakness that he is strong. Be encourage Daughter of Zion. What the devil meant for bad just know God will turn it around and work it out in your favor. No weapon formed against you shall prosper.