Using words like honey, sweety a no-no?

diane227, LPN, RN · Mar 18, 2009

I am from the south and "honey", "sweetheart" and "sweetie" are just a regular part of our dialect. I have only had one person get mad about this in my 31 years of nursing. I tell you what does make them mad is to be called "Mamm". Some people hate this. But it is the south, what can I tell you.

evilolive, BSN, RN · Mar 18, 2009

I have been trying to break myself of this habit for a long time now. I work in LTC, and have never had complaints about my use of endearing terms, but I still attempt to use first names or their nicknames (Joe, Bobby, etc.) before saying something like "sweet pea" (for one lady) or something along those lines.

I never thought it was a dignity issue until one nurse brought the issue up to me over the summer as a "food for thought" issue. Still though, I love most of my residents and want to show them in some way that they are special to me.

But like I said, I'm working on it :)

Rhone · Mar 18, 2009

I agree that "honey" and "sweetie", while often benign and not taken in a negative way, run the risk of sounding patronizing and harming a patient's dignity. Certain populations, like geriatric patients and mentally retarded adults, are all too often treated like children, and calling them words that are usually used in adult-child relationships contributes to the problem. Sure, many patients might not mind--but then again, many other patients might feel disrespected and not speak up about it. Mr./Ms. so-and-so, on the other hand, doesn't come with the risk of sounding disrespectful.

I agree that there are times when the desire to be affectionate and comforting makes those terms feel natural to use; you just have to watch how you word things and be supportive in a way that doesn't compromise the patient's dignity.

We were warned that if we get caught using those we are fired on the spot.

Heh. I'm guessing that facility has been trying for a long time (years maybe) to get their staff to change, only to be ignored. So it comes down to "follow the freaking rule or we'll fire you!" :trout:

plastic_cow28 · Mar 18, 2009

I love being called "honey" or "sweetie" or something of the sort. It makes me feel like the person actually cares about me.

And I HATE being called "miss" or "ma'am."

I'm not from the South either.

But...I am only 22.

(Although I must say, my mom hates the "ma'am" business, too."

systoly · Mar 18, 2009

In those geographical regions where Honey and Sweety are the norm and not disrespectful, does business communication address the recipient as Dear honey, or Dear Sweety. Such as

Dear Honey:

thank you for the opportunity to interview with you ...

Dear Sweety:

I enjoyed visiting your facility...

carluvscats · Mar 18, 2009

I got called down on this once during clinicals. I didn't intend to demean or be flippant; this older patient was really so nice and kind and I think I called her "hon" or something. My instructor talked to me about it and I didn't do it again ~ I stuck to ma'am or mr.

It's silly to judge someone's heart when using such terminology, since I happen to think most of us mean well. :) I guess when we see so many people at their worst, we might get too comfortable and familiar with them. But I think we just want them to feel loved!

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Mar 18, 2009

As an "older" person, I don't much care for being called "honey" or "sweetie" by someone 2 or 3 decades younger than myself. While I don't get overly upset about it when it happens, I'm not given to calling my residents by those names either, because it's a matter of giving my elders the respect they deserve.

twistedpupchaser · Mar 18, 2009

As an Aussie, my biggest blunder of this type is calling every male Pt "Mate". I am not the type that can get away with Honey, Sweety or the like. I did have an elderly gentleman I was looking after who I addressed as "Uncle" but that was for semi-cultural reasons and was more appreciated than Sir. Generally I try to use the Pt's name or a nickname I make up on the spot such as "My favourite malingerer.".........yes, you can relax, it was a joke.

Atheos · Mar 18, 2009

In a multicultural area it is confusing.

My residents are either sir/mam or honey/sweetie/etc. Some of the employees are auntie and uncle. My boss INSISTS on first name.

None of it makes sense anymore.

P_RN, ADN, RN · Mar 18, 2009

I wonder if it's a regional thing? Where're all you sweetie pies from-huh?

Seriously, here in my home town if you're from here it's some of the first courtesty you learn-"Miss Susie, Mr Al, bless your heart sweetie",.

Now I wouldn't do it in a hospital board room or address the governor-oh that's another subject entirely. I sure hate to see it made a company policy-that's like saying you are unable to use common sense at work.

BosNsgStudent · Mar 18, 2009

I HATE it when anybody calls me "sweetie," "honey," or "hun"...but I also find it sort of cold to be called by my last name (maybe this will change when I'm older...I'm 22). At the same time I try to call patients by their last name, but half the time don't know how to pronounce it and half the time they don't respond to it if I am waking them up or if they are confused (or especially both!) so I end up using first names a lot, although I am always nervous someone will find it disrespectful..

evilolive, BSN, RN · Mar 19, 2009

My "sweet pea" statements are Massachusetts born and raised