Using words like honey, sweety a no-no?

travel50 · Mar 19, 2009

We use these terms sometimes at our nursing home, but more often it is Mr. or Ms. so and so. When they are admitted, we always ask them what they prefer to be called. Lots of times they say they don't care, sometimes they prefer a first name. We have a couple of former elementary school teachers who prefer to be called Miss Jane and Miss Ella. If a resident every says they don't like to be called "honey" or some such, we certainly try to never do it again. We want them to be comfortable. It is a dignity thing, and if they don't want to be called "sweetie" then don't. But some like it.

Fiona59 · Mar 19, 2009

Well, I guess they'd just flip out to hear "luv" on our unit. Never had a complaint about that.

iteachob, MSN, RN · Mar 19, 2009

Fired on the spot? Wow......seems a little harsh these days when we hear of CEO's who have basically run the economy into the ground getting million dollar bonuses!!

I agree we should refrain from using these labels, but let the punishment fit the "crime", for goodness sake!

jnnfr08 · Mar 19, 2009

I catch myself calling pt by terms of endearment but most don't mind. Of course, always finding out which name they prefer and sticking to it is always professional.

FireStarterRN, BSN, RN · Mar 19, 2009

They are a no no in my book. When people use honey, dear, or sweetie with me it is like nails on chalkboard. Someone one did it today at the school and I wanted to bop her in the nose. She was being generally unpleasant anyways, then called me dear. I answered "Dear?". Vivian, the school secretary, told me that she was a first time sub. I told Vivian that they should keep her out of sight, that she's rude and unpleasant.

i<3u · Mar 19, 2009

I'm called "sweetie", "hun/hon", etc. all the time (it's used very often in the south...Im from TN) & I absolutely cant stand it. I think it's very demeaning. I'm young (20 yrs old) but I always call anyone I dont know or speaking formally (especially those older than me) by Mr., Ms., Miss, Mrs., ma'am, or sir. Its just pure respect for others...something I was told to do since I was a toddler.

Escape5 · Mar 19, 2009

I think a lot of this comes down to age. It's does seem a lot different when a younger person calls an older person sweety/honey/etc, rather than vice versa...younger to older can tend to sound demeaning in my opinion.

I am in my 20s, and more often that not, it's my patients who are calling me honey, sweetie, etc. I really like it and find it endearing...unless it is from a patient around my age or younger. In those cases, it rubs me the wrong way. I generally refrain from calling a patient by a name like that, although I've been guilty of it a couple times without thinking.

At the same time, I don't like calling pts maam, sir, or Mr./Mrs., because it feels cold to me. I know it's probably the safest bet to be professional and respectful, but not as friendly . I'll go w/ Mr./Mrs, but if a pt. introduces themselves to me by a first name, I'll use it. Never had a problem. I sometimes will call the pt. "my friend" like, "alright, my friend, i'm going to start your IV now..." It seems like a good in between, not too cold but pretty low potential of offending someone.

Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP · Mar 19, 2009

I work with babies - it's perfectly ok to call them 'honey'.

When I'm working with their moms, it just depends. I am in the South and truly it's not usually a big deal - the lady that gave me a ride home after I dropped the truck off at the shop called me 'honey.' It's just so ingrained in most of us. I don't care, because I know people who say that generally mean well.

At work I start out by introducing myself and ask my patients how they'd like me to address them. Mother/baby unit = pts are generally around my age. Usually they tell me to just call them by their first name/nickname. If we bond (I usually do bond w/ my patients) sometimes sweetie will just come out. I've apologized for it but so far everybody has said, "Oh please, it doesn't bother me at all."

If I worked with a different population, I might feel differently. I can totally see how someone who's been a productive citizen for many decades longer than I've been alive would feel patronized by my calling them 'honey.' Or not. My dear stepdad is 93 ( :yeah: ) and has had multiple surgeries lately - he always gets called sweetie and does not care. (His words: "I don't give a damn what they call me as long as they take care of me." Gotta love people who speak their minds.)

mochabean · Mar 19, 2009

I don't like being called "baby," "honey", "sweetie" or- even worse- "little girl"! The nurses on my unit often call patients- no matter the age- "boo" "boo-boo" "baby girl" or "baby boy."

travel50 · Mar 19, 2009

We have an EMT who often comes to our nursing home when a resident needs to go to the ER. He is so kind and gentle to all our people, but esp. our female residents. He calls them "baby girl", "luv", "darlin", etc. They eat it up! He means it to comfort them, and comfort them it does. I have noticed that he often uses such words when talking to the nurses. We know he does not mean it inappropriately. He adores his wife. I guess b/c we know he is not being condesending or belittling, we are always so glad to see him come. I asked him if he'd come and get me next time I got really sick. Told him the sweet talk was a requirement, which made him laugh. Again, for us it depends on who, when, where, how, and personal preferences. But certainly, if it bothered anyone, we would not use the terms.

pagandeva2000, LPN · Mar 19, 2009

I was wondering if this is a rule for my company or just a rule across the board. We are not allowed to use the words "honey" or "sweety" when we are talking to our residents. Does anyone know why this is? Is it just a dignity issue or what exactly? Our residents have a range of issues such as; dementia and manic depression. It is a long-term care unit..we do have a short-term care unit as well and the same rules apply for those residents. It is only my second week of clinicals and I still have to catch myself using those words. We were warned that if we get caught using those we are fired on the spot. It is going to be a hard habit to break that is for sure. Does anyone have any suggestions?? Thanks for all your help!!

I remember hearing that these phases are inappropriate in each level of nursing I elevated to. It is stated that it is derogatory, and to give dignity, to ask the patient what they would like to be called. It is a hard habit to break, because I have slipped at least three times a week myself. No one was offended, however. And, no one in administration has made such a rule. I guess if they did, I would have pink slips surrounding me like confetti. I try not to, and each time I slip, I remember those warnings. I guess that inadvertantly, I am trying to make the patient more comfortable. Wow...fired on the spot...especially if that particular patient is not offended...that is rough...

Riseupandnurse · Mar 19, 2009

I am an older person who loves being called "honey" or "sweetie". I don't like being called "Mrs. X" because it feels so distancing. If anyone asked me what I want to be called, though, I wouldn't say, "Call me honey" because it sounds so needy. Guess I am but don't want to advertise the fact. But please if you're younger don't call me "young lady" or sunshine". Now THAT is demeaning.