Hi all- I need some advice.
I recently got a job at a hospital that I wanted to work at VERY MUCH, and got placed on the step-down unit I requested. I was assigned to a preceptor who did a good job teaching, and things were going well. I was told that I was doing a good job and I felt comfortable with my progression.
I was moved around between several different preceptors over the next 4 weeks due to staffing issues. On the last day I worked there, I was assigned to a preceptor I had not worked with before. She was telling me what to do every 30 seconds, and telling me to drop what I was doing to do something else before I had any time to finish it (and this is not because I'm new and slow, nobody would have had time to do it :)). This went on all day, and was quite distressing.
I made several attempts to fix it, very politely letting her know that her constant direction was making it difficult for me to organize my work- and I promise this was not just an issue of her trying to teach me priorities or being extra vigilant with a new person.
8 hours later, I was not so chipper. I was frustrated and I'm sure that frustration was showing some in my behavior- never in front of a patient of course, but I don't think I was being perfectly sunny with her. I had a very difficult time getting things done in a timely manner ALL DAY because of the constant interruptions.
Long story short, I was called into a meeting with supervisors and told I was doing a bad job by my manager- He said I would still be an employee but would be moved to another floor. I was devastated, and pointed out that I had received good feedback until now- He told me I must have not been listening. Seriously.
I understand that if you burn bridges in an area, whether it's your fault or not, it might be wise to cut your losses and move to another unit. And, maybe I wasn't meant to be in that area anyways. So, I am trying to forgive, forget, move on, and make a new start. That's all going good. Well, good-ish.
So. I had to make an appointment with a higher-up, who had not met me and who had a list of "issues" printed up from my unit. This list included a few things I could work on, but mostly was out-of-context ridiculousness. She had not actually spoken to anyone from my unit, she had just received this memo, and from it she seemed to have come to the conclusion that I was a very serious problem and maybe should be discharged. Wow.
We talked, I was positive, admitted to having some failings in my communication skills that day (we all do sometimes of course), and detailed some ways I could work on that. I felt like I couldn't defend myself- anything I argued would be further proof to her that I was a poor team player who wouldn't accept responsibility.
So. Then there was another meeting with someone who was supposed to be an advocate for me, and that went well, and he really did support me, but we all still were in agreement that I should move to another unit. However, I need to write a detention-type essay about everything I did wrong, how it negatively impacted my unit's teamwork, and all the things I would do to improve myself if I were to be kept on. I also am required to write apologies to all my preceptors for my bad behavior to "tie up loose ends and bring closure to relationships".
I do not owe apologies to my preceptors. Two of them were totally uninvolved, and I had apologized to that ill-behaved preceptor on the day in question several times, and tried to fix the working situation. Anything to make it better. I don't think the DON understands the situation fully, but I don't feel like I am in a position to argue.
I was EXTREMELY careful and tactful when explaining that I felt, while I would love to work on some of my own problems with a new preceptor, I felt like maybe the situation had been blown out of proportion. I delicately pointed out that although the preceptor had the impression that I was a bad, obnoxious person, I was not actually so. I admitted that it is definitely possible I gave her the wrong impression of me, and that I would examine myself and work on my communication style. My advocate agreed that it was most likely exaggerated and that the preceptor had got me wrong, but that doesn't change what I have to do.
So, here's the question, finally- I understand that sometimes unfair things happen and you have to suck it up, and maybe later I will find that it's all for the best. BUT, I don't want this to go on my record as a huge blemish, nor do I want any new manager/ preceptor I have to think I am a bad egg. I was doing okay with the forgiveness and moving on until I was required to detail all my failings in these notes. I am being asked to admit to being a bad team player, which I have NOT proven to be (this was not a large enough inquiry to ask people for GOOD things about me, apparently). If I don't take responsibility, I won't be doing what they ask, and if I do I'll be bad-mouthing myself on paper and in effect agreeing with their view of things. Even though many nurses had good things to say about me, my supervisor is only focusing on the bad, and making it sound like it was a pattern of terrible behavior, and not just the last day.
I don't know what to do. I do NOT want to go to another hospital, I am HAPPY at this one. I already have agreed to go to a different unit (if they decide to keep me, which I guess is all but certain), but I just don't know how to go about fullfilling their requirements without admitting to problems that I don't have- they want some serious details! I am going to write the stuff, I need to keep my job, and I want to work for this company- but how do I do it without damaging myself, and how do I forgive and move on?
Thanks!
-Rose
justme1972
2,441 Posts
Not sure if you have seen me post or not, but my husband is an occupational psychologist, and he deals exclusively with workplace issues, how to make it a better work environment, etc.
I really, really hope for your sake, I am wrong, but I have a feeling that they are setting you up to let you go.
What you are describing is a very common HR tactic. I had a friend once that worked at a clothing store as a general manager (yes, I know it's not nursing, but the principle of what happened could apply anywhere) and her manager suddenly showed up early when she was opening the store, and told her that she wanted to talk with her.
When they met, her boss told her that in order to improve her work performance and thus, improve the store, they told her to write out and make a list of everything she felt that she needed to work on. She thought, "hey, this is a great opportunity, I'll willing to be a team player and do it."
So she did.
The manager returned, took her list, reviewed it, and told her, "Unfortunately it's clear to me that you have much more to work on than we expected, therefore, we don't think it's best for the store if you continue working here as a GM or as an employee."
In other words, they tricked her into basically coming up with ammunition that they probably didn't have themselves to legally fire her for incompetence.
It can happen anywhere, any industry, any job.
They want you to sign the apology letters to make your "problem" sound more widespread than it is. That is why they are forcing you to write them (Notice I didn't say send them, b/c I seriously doubt they will go anywhere) to perceptors that you either barely worked with or that you had no problems with.
When you are a new employee, you have to learn what it is that they value there and find a way to capture that.
As an extern, I am experiencing the same thing. One of the charge nurses has taken an instant dislike to me, and I have since discovered (by not saying anything and keeping all ears open) that she is a major factor in turnover in the unit.
However, I have never expressed an opinion at work about anything. Even when I wanted to go to the bathroom and cry, because I am working for THE major healthcare system in my area, and b/c I'm not an RN yet, I cannot afford to not only not burn a bridge, but I can't walk into a place that sells matches.
I know you can't afford to quit, especially if the benefits are good, so I will give you some advice. You CAN fix a bad work experience.
The first thing I would ask yourself is did you discuss with anyone, and I mean anyone, at work your concerns on a personal level--b/c that is usually the biggest mistake that new employees make, is thinking that they can trust your co-workers, and I am here to tell you, it will amaze you throughout your career who will throw you under the bus.
When you go to your next department and get a new perceptor, do not give an opinion on anything. Don't mention a single word about what happened in your other unit, no matter who you meet or how much you trust them.
Tell them how excited you are to be there, mention every chance you get to your boss about how good your new perceptor is. Tell your perceptor every day at the end of the shift how much you appreciate their help--whether they are helpful or not.
Don't complain about anything, not even the crappy weather outside. Be suzy sunshine. Bring cookies, etc. Anything to change things.
The next time you get a perceptor that makes you do things that you don't have time for, make them the hero: Say, "Help me, which task would you like me to do"...and push the decision onto them.
No one hates sucking up more than I do. I have no idea of why people can't just come to work, punch a clock, do their job and go home. I have discovered that workplace bullies and drama queens, in my life, almost always have a bad home life or are miserable with themselves.
Just my