Unfair orientation discipline?

[RosieD]

Hi all- I need some advice.

I recently got a job at a hospital that I wanted to work at VERY MUCH, and got placed on the step-down unit I requested. I was assigned to a preceptor who did a good job teaching, and things were going well. I was told that I was doing a good job and I felt comfortable with my progression.

I was moved around between several different preceptors over the next 4 weeks due to staffing issues. On the last day I worked there, I was assigned to a preceptor I had not worked with before. She was telling me what to do every 30 seconds, and telling me to drop what I was doing to do something else before I had any time to finish it (and this is not because I'm new and slow, nobody would have had time to do it :)). This went on all day, and was quite distressing.

I made several attempts to fix it, very politely letting her know that her constant direction was making it difficult for me to organize my work- and I promise this was not just an issue of her trying to teach me priorities or being extra vigilant with a new person.

8 hours later, I was not so chipper. I was frustrated and I'm sure that frustration was showing some in my behavior- never in front of a patient of course, but I don't think I was being perfectly sunny with her. I had a very difficult time getting things done in a timely manner ALL DAY because of the constant interruptions.

Long story short, I was called into a meeting with supervisors and told I was doing a bad job by my manager- He said I would still be an employee but would be moved to another floor. I was devastated, and pointed out that I had received good feedback until now- He told me I must have not been listening. Seriously.

I understand that if you burn bridges in an area, whether it's your fault or not, it might be wise to cut your losses and move to another unit. And, maybe I wasn't meant to be in that area anyways. So, I am trying to forgive, forget, move on, and make a new start. That's all going good. Well, good-ish.

So. I had to make an appointment with a higher-up, who had not met me and who had a list of "issues" printed up from my unit. This list included a few things I could work on, but mostly was out-of-context ridiculousness. She had not actually spoken to anyone from my unit, she had just received this memo, and from it she seemed to have come to the conclusion that I was a very serious problem and maybe should be discharged. Wow.

We talked, I was positive, admitted to having some failings in my communication skills that day (we all do sometimes of course), and detailed some ways I could work on that. I felt like I couldn't defend myself- anything I argued would be further proof to her that I was a poor team player who wouldn't accept responsibility.

So. Then there was another meeting with someone who was supposed to be an advocate for me, and that went well, and he really did support me, but we all still were in agreement that I should move to another unit. However, I need to write a detention-type essay about everything I did wrong, how it negatively impacted my unit's teamwork, and all the things I would do to improve myself if I were to be kept on. I also am required to write apologies to all my preceptors for my bad behavior to "tie up loose ends and bring closure to relationships".

I do not owe apologies to my preceptors. Two of them were totally uninvolved, and I had apologized to that ill-behaved preceptor on the day in question several times, and tried to fix the working situation. Anything to make it better. I don't think the DON understands the situation fully, but I don't feel like I am in a position to argue.

I was EXTREMELY careful and tactful when explaining that I felt, while I would love to work on some of my own problems with a new preceptor, I felt like maybe the situation had been blown out of proportion. I delicately pointed out that although the preceptor had the impression that I was a bad, obnoxious person, I was not actually so. I admitted that it is definitely possible I gave her the wrong impression of me, and that I would examine myself and work on my communication style. My advocate agreed that it was most likely exaggerated and that the preceptor had got me wrong, but that doesn't change what I have to do.

So, here's the question, finally- I understand that sometimes unfair things happen and you have to suck it up, and maybe later I will find that it's all for the best. BUT, I don't want this to go on my record as a huge blemish, nor do I want any new manager/ preceptor I have to think I am a bad egg. I was doing okay with the forgiveness and moving on until I was required to detail all my failings in these notes. I am being asked to admit to being a bad team player, which I have NOT proven to be (this was not a large enough inquiry to ask people for GOOD things about me, apparently). If I don't take responsibility, I won't be doing what they ask, and if I do I'll be bad-mouthing myself on paper and in effect agreeing with their view of things. Even though many nurses had good things to say about me, my supervisor is only focusing on the bad, and making it sound like it was a pattern of terrible behavior, and not just the last day.

I don't know what to do. I do NOT want to go to another hospital, I am HAPPY at this one. I already have agreed to go to a different unit (if they decide to keep me, which I guess is all but certain), but I just don't know how to go about fullfilling their requirements without admitting to problems that I don't have- they want some serious details! I am going to write the stuff, I need to keep my job, and I want to work for this company- but how do I do it without damaging myself, and how do I forgive and move on?

Thanks!

-Rose

[RN1982]

I don't know. If I had to go through all that just to stay at that hospital, it would make me want to leave. I think it's unfair that one bad experience has tarnished your reputation on that unit and throughout the hospital.

[pagandeva2000, LPN]

Gees if i had to go through all that just to stay at the hospital, I'd just put my two weeks in and go somewhere else.

I agree. In spite of the fact that you really desired to work for this facility, it seems that they are out to demoralize you and if this is going to follow you to other units, they'll already have a pre-conceived notion of you that is not true. I also would not place on paper what my faults are, because it can be used against you on another date...almost like writing a confession to a murder you did not commit. Sorry, but I am so with MichiganRN...go somewhere else.

[HappyPediRN]

Rosie I'm sorry but there are not enough benefits in the world to make me stay in such a toxic environment. You are obviously a scapegoat and I don't think it would be safe for you to stick around and find out why. Once you agree to this in writing it is a branding on your permanent record and the ball is permanently in their court. You are not a child and you did not go through four years of nursing school to be treated like one. I would not for one second stand to have to write a letter of apology for something I believe I didn't do. If you allow yourself to be a doormat in this situation you will be a doormat for the rest of your career at this hospital, and from the sounds of it, it won't be long until they find a reason to terminate you. It's a lot harder to get a job as a new graduate who has been fired than one who resigns because they realized the position was not a good fit. I don't think it's worth your dignity and potentially your license to remain loyal to a hospital that has already hung you out to dry, and I REALLY wouldn't sign anything without a union rep or someone higher up as my advocate. Please PLEASE reconsider your standing with this hospital. There are so many other hospitals who value their employees with preceptors who truly love what they do. You don't deserve to have your reputation tainted forever by someone who clearly doesn't. You are worth more than they are making you feel.

[RNsRWe, ASN, RN]

Rosie, you can't "not damage" yourself. They are requiring you to do so, if you stay.

I understand you like that hospital, and you don't want to go elsewhere. However, consider this: you are currently in the "honeymoon phase" of your employment there--things are the best they are likely to be, ever. A new nurse should feel appreciated, welcomed, and that others want to help her learn. She should feel that the staff want to retain her, that she is valuable (ok, ok, it's not always perfect! But still....).

So. Here you are, thinking all is fine, and then you are flipped inside out by ONE person. And yet this one person has the ability, it seems, to flip you OFF the floor you had been doing seemingly well on. If what you say is true, and you WERE doing fine, then one has to consider how this all happened. And it doesn't bode well for the unit.

And then you go to the next unit, already seeing that you have a spiffy checklist of negatives against you. Nice, and doesn't bode well for THAT unit. AND, on top of it, you are expected to write an ESSAY on your SHORTCOMINGS on orientation?? SERIOUSLY??

And yet you want to stay there. Please, heed some advice: it won't get better. It isn't something you are going to recover from--either you WILL have a permanent stain in your personnel file, or you won't have an official one, but will be expected to kowtow anytime anyone has an issue with anything you ever do. After all, YOU are the one with the problems, right? And once you agree to something as absurd as this "essay" thing (I'm imagining my fourth grade late-assignment punishment!!) you are done for.

If you stay there, it's at your peril. Sorry to say that, but if you do stay, don't be shocked and upset when in three, five, eight months you are either getting canned or finding yourself on some type of further disciplinary probation. Or neither, but are so fed up with what you are put through daily you finally decide it's time to get out.

[dorselm]

Though I'm only a nursing student, I don't think I would take that kind of demoralization to stay anywhere. You are a nurse, a nurse with lots of possibilites! If one place isn't a fit, you move on. However, I have to say when your last preceptor was having you switch from one thing to the next without time to finish what you were doing, you should have spoken up right then and there and if the preceptor was not willing to listen to you, you should have taken your concerns higher up when the incidences occurred. Whether you decide to stay or leave depends on whether you can trust that the whole hospital won't be like that floor, also, wherever you go you better learn to CYA and document everything you do as well as what your preceptor does/doesn't do so that God forbid you're ever in this predicament again, you can whip out your log and have times, dates and specific details to back up your actions.

God Bless and keep your head up!

[leslie :-D]

dang...

i am so agreeing w/the others on this.

this is bullying on its worst level.

anything you say, can and will be held against you.

with that, i would write a letter sticking to the facts.

include the names of those who gave you positive feedback.

include where/how you went wrong with your last preceptor, and how you would handle this situation if it happened again.

i would vehemently deny any/all allegations of wrongdoing, including those that berate your character.

put it all in writing, w/o emotion, w/o accusation.

stick to the facts as you know them and know yourself.

and then tell them to stick your letter in a place where the sun doesn't shine.

leslie

[iwanna]

I believe forcing an apology is ridiculous! And, your assignment sounds so high schoolish. Uh, I would want to be out there! Did he talk to all of the staff? Am I wrong, but it sounds like you were just with this preceptor for eight hours? I can remember when another staff was written up at a job I worked at. I was approached by the DON and asked about the incident. Yes, the things she were written up for were true. However, she was NEW!!! Instead of the director taking her aside and telling her about her mistakes, she wrote her up! I thought that it was totally uncalled for. And, I told the DON they needed to give her a break. Well, she turned out to be an excellent employee! It would have been sad for everyone, if they would have fired her. Anyways, my point is that they should have asked around on unit to confirm any problems. Do you really want to work at the hospital with that DON? It sounds like you are "marked" already.

[jeepgirl, LPN, NP]

screw that! if anyone had me write down things i did not feel were true... i would run away.

what if there was an issue (a lawsuit, etc) in years to come? that would be in your employee file and they would bring that out... that you had had problems during your orientation, and preceptorship... the hospital might even distance itself from you in a situation like that. RUN AWAY.

[jeepgirl, LPN, NP]

dang...

i am so agreeing w/the others on this.

this is bullying on its worst level.

anything you say, can and will be held against you.

with that, i would write a letter sticking to the facts.

include the names of those who gave you positive feedback.

include where/how you went wrong with your last preceptor, and how you would handle this situation if it happened again.

i would vehemently deny any/all allegations of wrongdoing, including those that berate your character.

put it all in writing, w/o emotion, w/o accusation.

stick to the facts as you know them and know yourself.

and then tell them to stick your letter in a place where the sun doesn't shine.

leslie

i totally agree leslie!! i would deny everything in that letter and give your account of the situation. then i'd tell them to kiss my bootie!!

[Medic2RN, BSN, RN, EMT-P]

Holy Crow!!! You have one bad day because someone you never met before is riding your butt and she wonders why you're not Sally Sunshine?

Writing essays and apologies?? Are you getting grounded too?

Are you in a hospital or in high school?

Utterly childish!!

[santhony44, MSN, RN, NP]

dang...

i am so agreeing w/the others on this.

this is bullying on its worst level.

anything you say, can and will be held against you.

with that, i would write a letter sticking to the facts.

include the names of those who gave you positive feedback.

include where/how you went wrong with your last preceptor, and how you would handle this situation if it happened again.

i would vehemently deny any/all allegations of wrongdoing, including those that berate your character.

put it all in writing, w/o emotion, w/o accusation.

stick to the facts as you know them and know yourself.

and then tell them to stick your letter in a place where the sun doesn't shine.

leslie

I agree completely.

Well, I probably wouldn't actually say that last line, but as for the rest of it, yes!

Do not write and sign anything that is not true!! Like pagandeva says, that's like confessing to a murder you didn't commit, and no good will come of it.

What did you do, anyway, lie on the floor, kick your heels and scream, or hold your breath until you turned blue? That's how they're responding!!