Two-faced coworkers

Atheos · Oct 10, 2008

Is it like this everywhere? People appear like your best friend to your face, then talk about you like a dog to others. Ive heard its like this everywhere. I hope not.

The entire world is like that... There are nice people outthere though as well.

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Oct 10, 2008

The nursing profession tends to attract a good number of people with low self-esteems. Persons who suffer from low self esteem need lots of validation and ego-boosting in order to feel better about themselves. Hence, the two-faced, backstabbing, passive aggressive qualities surface.

Some nurses who possess low self esteems receive temporary excitement by behaving in a two-faced manner toward their coworkers. For some reason, their egos are temporarily boosted when they insult their colleagues behind one's back.

You must always remember that a person does not feel the need to be two-faced and passive aggressive toward another human being unless his/her own self esteem is missing something.

neurorn6 · Oct 10, 2008

When I worked at 2 different hospitals in KY, I found that the people there were very 2 faced. In CO people where nice and even tempered in the hospitals while those in LTC were more 2 faced. The one thing that I did find was that, in the Northeast, people would just tell you to your face what they thought. If you're not used to it, you might think that they are rude. The one thing that I learned was that, I would rather you tell me to my face what you think, it's over done, we go back to work and if we have a chance go out for coffee after work. No hard feelings.

Currently, I'm in SC. So far everyone has been nice. That's the one thing with traveling, 13 wks and I'm off to the next assignment. No politics on the unit or the facility.

Hang in there. Don't let them get to you. Small minds and small people as the saying goes.:argue:

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Oct 10, 2008

When I worked at 2 different hospitals in KY, I found that the people there were very 2 faced. In CO people where nice and even tempered in the hospitals while those in LTC were more 2 faced. The one thing that I did find was that, in the Northeast, people would just tell you to your face what they thought. If you're not used to it, you might think that they are rude. The one thing that I learned was that, I would rather you tell me to my face what you think, it's over done, we go back to work and if we have a chance go out for coffee after work. No hard feelings.
Currently, I'm in SC. So far everyone has been nice. That's the one thing with traveling, 13 wks and I'm off to the next assignment. No politics on the unit or the facility.
Hang in there. Don't let them get to you. Small minds and small people as the saying goes.:argue:

This is very interesting. I have heard that communication styles generally differ as you move from one major geographic region to the next.

I know of a nurse from the Southeast who moved to a Northeastern state a few years ago. She complains that many of the Northern store clerks she has encountered are more terse, abrupt, and less likely to engage in small talk than the ones in the Southern states.

Ms.RN · Oct 10, 2008

isnt it weird how nurses treat each other?? have you ever observed these two faced nurses treat their patients? they are so sweet, courteous, so kind, always say kind and encouraging words to them, they are so patient, always do what patients ask them to do, answer their questions without attitude. why cant nurses treat each other like this??? i thought nurses are suppose to be a professional. nurses are educated, so they cant act like they gang people where they have no morals or manners.

MadisonsMomRN, BSN, RN · Oct 10, 2008

The nursing profession tends to attract a good number of people with low self-esteems. Persons who suffer from low self esteem need lots of validation and ego-boosting in order to feel better about themselves. Hence, the two-faced, backstabbing, passive aggressive qualities surface.
Some nurses who possess low self esteems receive temporary excitement by behaving in a two-faced manner toward their coworkers. For some reason, their egos are temporarily boosted when they insult their colleagues behind one's back.
You must always remember that a person does not feel the need to be two-faced and passive aggressive toward another human being unless his/her own self esteem is missing something.

This is so true!

Its at my work too. It's worse some days than others. I used to let it bother me but not anymore. They do not sign my paycheck, they do not pay bills and they do not take care of my children. I feel that a lot of these people are miserable! You know what they say... "misery loves company"

RNDreamer · Oct 10, 2008

yes, it's like this everywhere. I saw it at my previous jobs in customer service. Men and women, co workers and management were guilty of it.

Is it like this everywhere? People appear like your best friend to your face, then talk about you like a dog to others. Ive heard its like this everywhere. I hope not.

Atheos · Oct 10, 2008

Highschool is preperation for this. :)

I love my cat! · Oct 10, 2008

I've had different jobs prior to nursing and the back-stabbing and passive aggressive personalities are far worse in the Nursing profession. I find it very disappointing and depressing.

I was so naive prior to the "real world" of Nursing. I had this perception that Nurses work as a team. Not only with each other, but with the MDs, Techs, CNAs, Unit Secretaries, etc. Boy, was I wrong! The constant bickering and friction is unbelievable.

It is almost as though Nurses LOVE to see a co-worker fail....and the constant criticism, continual sarcastic "questions", non-stop correcting of silly things. It is so weird.

I've learned the hard way that it is best to share as little as possible about myself. Keep the talk small.

MadisonsMomRN, BSN, RN · Oct 10, 2008

I've had different jobs prior to nursing and the back-stabbing and passive aggressive personalities are far worse in the Nursing profession. I find it very disappointing and depressing.
I was so naive prior to the "real world" of Nursing. I had this perception that Nurses work as a team. Not only with each other, but with the MDs, Techs, CNAs, Unit Secretaries, etc. Boy, was I wrong! The constant bickering and friction is unbelievable.
It is almost as though Nurses LOVE to see a co-worker fail....and the constant criticism, continual sarcastic "questions", non-stop correcting of silly things. It is so weird.
I've learned the hard way that it is best to share as little as possible about myself. Keep the talk small.

It is almost like a competition isn't it?

mama_d, BSN, RN · Oct 10, 2008

Aw, I love my cat!, you need to come work with me! Every time I see a post like yours I say a little prayer of gratitude that I work with the people I do! We tend to drive away the petty, lazy, spiteful, two faced high-school doges within a year of their hire b/c we won't put up with that kind of crap on our shift.

I think it helps that we're all "rejects" on our floor...a few years ago, we had two units, which then expanded into three units with each having a subspecialty. Noone wanted to work oncology, so the favorites got the other floors. So what we ended up with were a bunch of loud mouthed, opinionated, strong personalities who have all bonded over the years into a tight knit group. We're always willing to add more in to the fun, as long as you're hardworking, have a backbone, and are ready to have fun at work...and if you're not that way to start with, chances are after working with us for a while you will be!