Two-faced coworkers

Nurses Relations

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Is it like this everywhere? People appear like your best friend to your face, then talk about you like a dog to others. Ive heard its like this everywhere. I hope not.

Specializes in LTC, Med/Surg, Peds, ICU, Tele.
This is very interesting. I have heard that communication styles generally differ as you move from one major geographic region to the next.

I know of a nurse from the Southeast who moved to a Northeastern state a few years ago. She complains that many of the Northern store clerks she has encountered are more terse, abrupt, and less likely to engage in small talk than the ones in the Southern states.

They're less likely to invite you to their church up North too...:chuckle

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Specializes in 2 years as CNA.
isnt it weird how nurses treat each other?? have you ever observed these two faced nurses treat their patients? they are so sweet, courteous, so kind, always say kind and encouraging words to them, they are so patient, always do what patients ask them to do, answer their questions without attitude. why cant nurses treat each other like this??? i thought nurses are suppose to be a professional. nurses are educated, so they cant act like they gang people where they have no morals or manners.

that reminds of me of how it is said that people treat strangers and others so nice and with such good manners but then they treat their friends in and family like crap just because they know they don't have to be fake around them! i think you should treat everyone equally, but if you are going to treat someone like crap let it be a stranger that you don't ever have to see again and treat your family like gold!

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Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
They're less likely to invite you to their church up North too...:chuckle

I'm originally from southern California, where a person can drive around for 50 miles without seeing one single church. I'm now living in North Central Texas. You can tell that this is the Bible Belt, as evidenced by the plenitude of elaborate Christian churches around here.

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Specializes in ER, TRAUMA, MED-SURG.
I've had different jobs prior to nursing and the back-stabbing and passive aggressive personalities are far worse in the Nursing profession. I find it very disappointing and depressing.

I was so naive prior to the "real world" of Nursing. I had this perception that Nurses work as a team. Not only with each other, but with the MDs, Techs, CNAs, Unit Secretaries, etc. Boy, was I wrong! The constant bickering and friction is unbelievable.

It is almost as though Nurses LOVE to see a co-worker fail....and the constant criticism, continual sarcastic "questions", non-stop correcting of silly things. It is so weird.

I've learned the hard way that it is best to share as little as possible about myself. Keep the talk small.

Oh, yeah! You have read my mind!!! This is a problem at a lot of the hospitals where I have worked. I noticed that usually, the guys don't usually do this too much, but the females... Oh my God!!

I know there are good people with the bad, but the bad seem to enjoy life more when they are backstabbing or being two faced. That is one of the reasons that I finally just got out the field completely.

Anne, RNC :down:

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Specializes in Med Surg, ER, ICU, LTC, DRUG & ETOH.

It is sad that we nurses treat each other this way :crying2:and yes, I agree with the others that it is usually low self esteem etc, but here is another bend to it all. I believe the reason a lot of these back stabbers get by with it,is because we are brought up to be soooo polite There is a good book titled "Coping With Difficult People" that goes in depth about how to protect yourself from the steam rollers, back biters, know it alls etc. I read it and try to use the techniques such as replying "gosh did you mean that the way I took it? or the way it sounded etc, And when all else fells, I try to live my life so good that when I die , even the undertaker will be sorry, @ LOL:jester:

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try not to let it get to you, you will somewhat always encounter this, but it's all in how you handle things. i work in a dialysis clinic where these things happen all the time. usually i just try and mind my own business by reading or staying on the computer. like one of the above post said, they don't sign your paycheck so try not to let it bother you.

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"They're less likely to invite you to their church up North too...:chuckle"

So what does THIS mean? What, we're fighting the civil war again? Are you implying Northerners don't go to church as much or are less friendly? Or am I having a bad day and being a tad oversensitive?

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Specializes in Peds/Neo CCT,Flight, ER, Hem/Onc.
"They're less likely to invite you to their church up North too...:chuckle"

So what does THIS mean? What, we're fighting the civil war again? Are you implying Northerners don't go to church as much or are less friendly? Or am I having a bad day and being a tad oversensitive?

I think you might be having a bad day. I'm a Northerner (well sort of) and I thought this was hilarious and quite frankly pretty true.

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"It is almost as though Nurses LOVE to see a co-worker fail....and the constant criticism, continual sarcastic "questions", non-stop correcting of silly things. It is so weird.

I agree 100% with your observations and advice. Even when people are correcting you in a constructive way (at least intended to be constructive) they try to make you feel stupid and stressed which helps no one I know perform well.

"I've learned the hard way that it is best to share as little as possible about myself. Keep the talk small."

I'm a 26 y.o. male musician/music lover/outdoors lover and I only reveal this to people that have an interest in these things otherwise some people label me. One doctor listened to my cd and said "this is some serious pot head stuff." Whatever, keep listening to John Denver!

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oh, ok. sorry!:urgycld:

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Specializes in Medical-Surgical-Ortho-Neuro-Agency.
isnt it weird how nurses treat each other?? have you ever observed these two faced nurses treat their patients? they are so sweet, courteous, so kind, always say kind and encouraging words to them, they are so patient, always do what patients ask them to do, answer their questions without attitude. why cant nurses treat each other like this??? i thought nurses are suppose to be a professional. nurses are educated, so they cant act like they gang people where they have no morals or manners.

they are extremely nice to their patients because without them, they would be unemployed. also, they don't want to be reported to administrators. don't you wish that management would find good solutions to decrease staff aggressive and nasty behaviors.

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Specializes in med-surg, teaching, cardiac, priv. duty.
This is very interesting. I have heard that communication styles generally differ as you move from one major geographic region to the next.

I know of a nurse from the Southeast who moved to a Northeastern state a few years ago. She complains that many of the Northern store clerks she has encountered are more terse, abrupt, and less likely to engage in small talk than the ones in the Southern states.

Quote (laketrash): "It is sad that we nurses treat each other this way and yes, I agree with the others that it is usually low self esteem etc, but here is another bend to it all. I believe the reason a lot of these back stabbers get by with it,is because we are brought up to be soooo polite..."

I must preface this with emphasizing that there are two-faced people EVERYWHERE. As a predominantly female profession, nurses can be a mean and nasty bunch. I sometimes feel bad for my husband (who is also a nurse) having to put up with this environment.

But I also agree with the above that communication styles can vary in different regions of the USA. And mis-understandings can result. I am from the Northeast and moved to the Southeast. Up north, we are more straightforward and to-the-point. We speak our minds. If we have "an issue" with someone, we'd be more likely to address it face-to-face. And sometimes southerners do indeed say we are abrupt, terse, rude, etc. I'd argue we are not, we just communicate differently. Down South, in an effort to be "polite" they seem to beat around the bush, are evasive, or avoid an issue all togther. Ironically, I find this "politeness" to be rude! :) Just say what you think for goodness sake! I'm not trying to "start anything" here:loveya:, just agreeing that communication styles can vary and misunderstandings can result. BUT THERE ARE TWO-FACED PEOPLE EVERYWHERE.

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