Troubled RN...Need advice please!!

Published

I apologize in advance if thisd is a little long-winded but I need a little advice from my fellow nurses (since we all know nurses know best). I graduated two years ago and started my dream job in a Surgical ICU at a very large, VERY well known, teaching institution. I had previous experience at two other hospitals doing various patient care jobs. I love my patient population, and the high acuity of patients that I would never see anywhere else, this is the reason I came here. I lived about an hour away at the time (and still do) but felt the commute would be worth the experience and acuity I'd get from this setting, which it absolutely was.

Since then my priorities have changed. I have met a wonderful person and they have moved in to my place. Our lease is about to be up and we are looking for a bigger place closer to his job, which is further away from mine. This is where the dilemma comes into play. I love my job, but am completely tired of the commute, especially since the scheduling requirements are much more demanding than they let you on to believe when you were hired. I generally end up working 4 12hr shifts a week and because of the crazy "salary" payscale I'm not paid extra unless it is an oncall shift.

We are debating on comprising and moving equal distances from our jobs but further away from everything and everyone we know, friends, family, etc. The other option is me changing jobs. There is a hospital near where our IDEAL location would be with a smaller Surgical ICU. It is a much smaller hospital, but still does some teaching. I'd be working less and as it turns out be making the same amount. I have contacted their Nurse recruiter and they are interested in interviewing me. The question is, do I leave the experience I am continuing to get everyday I walk into work for something of a lesser scale?

I know there are those nurses out there that remember or currently experience the thrill of a good story from work. "We opened the patient at the bedside, 70u of blood products throughout the shift, it was exhuasting". I do not doubt I would continue to learn at this new instituition but know I wouldn't see the crazy things I see on a day to day basis at my current hospital.

So my question is bluntly, what would you do? Sacrifice part of your life for your job or vice versa? I've never had to ask myself this question and am curious if anyone else has similar experiences or has had to make a similar decision in the past. I thank you in advance for your reply and look forward to hearing what you have to say!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Acute Care Cardiac, Education, Prof Practice.

You would be very surprised what you see at smaller institutions and often have even more responsibility for because of different staffing. Sounds like you would get more time with your loved one which is also a bonus!

Best of luck in whatever you choose!

Tait

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

At various times in my career, I have made sacrifices in favor of my husband and family. At other times, they have sacrificed. Since you have a couple of years of ICU exp, you are in a good position to put some time and effort into this relationship. Later, if you want to, you could go back to the big, big SICU.

My take on it is that you only go around once and you have to do what's right for you right now.

Things change and there might be more opportunities out there at the little hospital then you know.

Keep us updated.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in SRNA.

I moved last year from a large hospital in NV with 3 Adult ICUs to a smaller community based hospital in WA with a 12 bed ICU. In the past year this place has grown so much and we've expanded our ICU to 20 beds and I've learned and seen more here at this hospital than I did at my last job. You may be surprised!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Look into the job at the smaller facility that's closer to home and pays the same. I'd take it if I liked the job and environment in a jiffy.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Same amount of money for less time at work? Think of it as a destressor. Might help your health in the long run. You will be able to enjoy life more and your relationship will be even better than it is now. Don't believe you will regret the move.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

At the bigger facility you will eventually become exhausted. The high acuity along with the extra shift every week plus the extended commute all will take it's toll on you.

Take your experience and give yourself the opportunity and time to enjoy life since it appears it could be available for you in the smaller facility. You work to be able to enjoy life, not live to work.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Corrections,Med/Surg, Infectious Disease.

A great moto to follow is

"I Work to Live I don't Live to Work!!"

Says a lot and great way to remind ourselves that we can yes get all caught up in our jobs but it doesn't take long for us to be completely drained and want to literally change our whole career. I've thought many times to leave Nursing and still do but always know you can find a job anywhere but family & great friends are much harder to find and come by. That's my opinion.

Good Luck!!!! :nurse:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Gerontology, nursing education.

Just reading between the lines in your post, it sounds like you really do want to change jobs and are wanting reassurance that you're not committing job suicide. You aren't. It sounds like you have been very careful and prudent in making decisions and are ready for a career change that might be a bit better for your lifestyle. Fewer hours, same pay, less of a commute---all sound like good payoffs and good reasons to want to leave your current place. Large teaching facilities like the one at which you work are awesome, but having a life is pretty awesome, too.

BTW, congratulations on your relationship. It sounds like you have found the love of your life. :heartbeat

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in LTC, Disease Management, smoking Cessati.

Follow your heart!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in PACU, CARDIAC ICU, TRAUMA, SICU, LTC.

I was in a situation very similar to yours..moved from the medical "mecca" of New England to a small state. Working in a different environment was "culture shock" at first; I missed "my hospital." But as the months passed, I found the hospital in which I was now working offered many learning opportunities and "adventures." I worked there for 22 years before I hung up my "critical care stethescope." What I learned from working in the "small state" hospital I wouldn't trade for anything. I am certain there will be ample learning experiences at your future place of employment; don't forget, you are marketable. You can always look elsewhere if the job isn't a good fit.

One more thing, have you thought of staying per-diem at your current job, or working for a nursing agency to explore what other nursing opportunities are out there?

Life changes, and so do priorities. Seize every bit of happiness; that is a priority! You will make the right decision!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.

I started my career in big university settings and then later switched to a smaller community hospital. Now I work at an institution that is "somewhere in between."

All types of hospitals offer much to learn. The learning just differs a little bit. At the smaller hosptial, you may be able to participate in decision-making and develop "people skills," "teaching skills," and "leadership skills" that will further your career development in the long run. You may also not get so burned out so fast -- thus giving you the ability progress further in the long run.

I agree with the other posters. Look at the big picture of your life as a whole. Don't be afraid to leave the big city hospital. There is life -- and career fulfillment -- in life outside those environments, too.

Be happy in your life. That's the most important thing.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion