Triage complaints- the good, the bad, and the shocking.

Specialties Emergency

Published

"I was raped by an octopus."

"I have severe, severe, severe, SEVERE, SEVERE cold sores!" (five severes, I counted. And one cold sore visible.)

Discuss.

Specializes in Transitional Nursing.
Heck, the dollar stores in my area carry them!

And they work great!! hehe.

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Specializes in Emergency Room.

Mid-thirties female patient: I think I have a UTI.

Me: ok, what symptoms are you having?

Patient: well, my lady parts hurts.

Me: just to be clear, is it your lady parts, or where you pee from?

Patient (giggling): well its the same thing!

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Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia.
Mid-thirties female patient: I think I have a UTI.

Me: ok, what symptoms are you having?

Patient: well, my lady parts hurts.

Me: just to be clear, is it your lady parts, or where you pee from?

Patient (giggling): well its the same thing!

My dear friend Cathy is an RN and ten years older than I (and I'm 58). She was raised in a very strict Catholic home, went to Catholic schools and was accepted into a diploma school at a Catholic hospital in Detroit. She told me that the day they got to genito-urinary anatomy her first year (1963)- she was SHOCKED when the instructor nun told them there were THREE 'holes' in the perineum - and it was a hot topic of conversation that night in the dorms! :) :) :)

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Specializes in Emergency, Haematology/Oncology.

My favourite "shocking" pardon the pun....

Very sick looking 40 yr old gentleman walks up to the triage desk, sweating profusely, white as a ghost. "I feel like I am going to pass out". Patient is breathless, "do you have any significant medical history sir?" "I had an unexplained VF arrest about six months ago". Patient then promptly collapses. Yep, VF arrest, zapped and got him back, again. EEEK.

Triage= Collapse, CPR in progress....

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Specializes in Emergency.
My favourite "shocking" pardon the pun....

Very sick looking 40 yr old gentleman walks up to the triage desk, sweating profusely, white as a ghost. "I feel like I am going to pass out". Patient is breathless, "do you have any significant medical history sir?" "I had an unexplained VF arrest about six months ago". Patient then promptly collapses. Yep, VF arrest, zapped and got him back, again. EEEK.

Triage= Collapse, CPR in progress....

Hope they gave him an aicd after that one. While i've had patients say the very very rare inadvertent firings hurt, they're worth it for that whole not staying dead thing.

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Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia.

Had a guy CALL IN once "I'm on the interstate and I think I'm in VT again, be there in 10 minutes" and as sure as I'm sitting here- he showed up- in VT- ten minutes later. Yes- he got a implanted defib.

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Specializes in Cardio-Pulmonary; Med-Surg; Private Duty.
Had a guy CALL IN once "I'm on the interstate and I think I'm in VT again, be there in 10 minutes" and as sure as I'm sitting here- he showed up- in VT- ten minutes later. Yes- he got a implanted defib.

That story reminds me of my friend whose husband called 911 b/c she was actively delivering their child in the front seat of their Ford Explorer.

911: Where are you located right now?

Husband: I'm on the X turnpike, coming up on mile marker Y...

911: Are you still driving down the freeway?

Husband: Yeah, we're going to the hospital!

911: Sir, pull over and help your wife deliver the baby!!!

(Fortunately, all was well, and the daughter is now a happy and healthy 13yo! The entire labor process lasted less than an hour -- and this was their firstborn! -- and a few years later the second labor lasted more like ten hours. Ya just never know!)

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Specializes in Emergency.

I'm having vag discharge. When the pelvic is done, the provider pulls out 80.00 in cash. The patient lays it out on the bedside table to dry out...EWWWW!

Another one : My daughter needs a CT scan to see if her depression is still there.

"I have been walking all day and I'm hungry." She waited in the lobby for quite a while despite being brought in by EMS. (You can sit and wait and think about what you've done)

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Specializes in Emergency Room.
I'm having vag discharge. When the pelvic is done the provider pulls out 80.00 in cash. The patient lays it out on the bedside table to dry out...EWWWW![/quote']

Hahaha that reminds me of the time we had this female emotionally disturbed patient who was acting up. Well we search all our psych patients and secure their belongings, and the PCA who searched her found little bags of pills plus some money in her lady parts. When I told my co-worker he says "eiwww! That gives new meaning to the phrase 'damp dollar bill'" hahahaha!!

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Well, my fellow ED colleagues, trauma season is officially upon us.

I've had a hard two weeks at work, mostly assigned to trauma and working triage, I've had the following:

-GSW to face, walked in with his family

-Same night, GSW to lower back, brought in by mother

-Stabbing with a sword to neck, abdomen and upper back, drugged in by friends

-Fall from 20 ft bridge, ETOH on board, broken bones everywhere, along with a broken neck, paralyzed, head bleed.

-Same night, assault with a 4X4 several times to the head

-Pulled someone out of the car that was unresponsive, thready pulse

While the family members of said GSW's were in waiting room, some fool comes up to triage desk demanding to see a doctor "right now" because "my stomach hurts" He was promptly advised to have a seat behind the 25 people that are waiting to be seen by a doctor and he will be seen as soon as we can get to him. He leaves after waiting ONE hour and goes home, calls 911, catches an ambulance to hospital and taken right back to triage. Needlessly to say, his acuity level was downgraded a couple of levels.

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Specializes in ortho, hospice volunteer, psych,.

When I was a sophomore in college, the end of the string I needed to use to remove it later, snapped off my tampon and I ended up going to the ER to have the silly thing removed when I couldn't coax it out on my own. I think my search and recovery efforts had been too tentative and fortunately, the staff was kind about it. Maybe because it hadn't been inside me for weeks?!

Oh well... The things we learn!

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Specializes in Emergency, Telemetry, Transplant.

A somewhat common CC (if you could call it an actual complaint) that patients write on their registration forms: "Doctor request." I take such a patient into triage.

Me: "So, what brings you in today?"

Pt: "My doctor wanted me to come in?"

Me: "Could you elaborate a little bit on that?"

Pt: "Well, I called my doctor's office and he called back telling me to go to the ER."

:facepalm: Well, I guess I walked into that one.

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