Too many know it "allnurses"

Bubbles · Apr 29, 2010

i KNEW all you guys were jealous of my brains and my gorgeousness and this thread proves it!

Thanks for the humor! :yeah:

Bubbles · Apr 29, 2010

I agree with the OP, some of these patients are the devil out of hell!! I was hit by a wash rag once and the patient's daughter told me that the patient thought it was her maid. *****:madface::madface: I was so damn mad but I could not show it for fearing I would fail my clinical.

Sounds like your patient has dementia or maybe she is from another era. I just finished reading The Help by Kathryn Stockett - a very moving fictional rememberance of what life was like in Jackson, Mississippi for colored maids hired by the upper class whites.

PS don't tell me not to use the word colored. That was the term for Blacks in that era.

When a patient asks their nurse if they are waiting on them - how about smiling and saying 'No, Mrs. ____ I am your professional nurse today.' :nurse:

Fiona59 · Apr 29, 2010

Sounds like your patient has dementia or maybe she is from another era. I just finished reading The Help by Kathryn Stockett - a very moving fictional rememberance of what life was like in Jackson, Mississippi for colored maids hired by the upper class whites.
PS don't tell me not to use the word colored. That was the term for Blacks in that era.
When a patient asks their nurse if they are waiting on them - how about smiling and saying 'No, Mrs. ____ I am your professional nurse today.'

I've met many patients who do not have dementia with this attitude. They don't care about our qualifcations, just that they get their needs met first. I remember one who complained about the noise our code team made rushing over from the ICU (where we keep 'em). Sure, we'll that that post op 35yo die because it's too damn noisy keeping them alive.

And don't even start me on the ones who say "You are a government employee, I pay your wages". Many a time I've had to bite my tongue and say "No sh8T Sherlock, who do you think is paying for your pension?" This is usually said by little old ladies who never worked outside of their home and never paid paid a cent into our pension plan. They get their pension because they are alive.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Apr 29, 2010

i knew all you guys were jealous of my brains and my gorgeousness and this thread proves it!

yep -- your extreme good looks are making us all hate you!

Ruby Vee, BSN · Apr 29, 2010

everyone has the right to express their opinion. if what someone says offends you, send them a private email or just blow it off. some of the people here have more experience than others and have a different way of dealing with stressful situations. sometimes people are just trying to give people ideas on ways they can deal with situations to reduce their own stress levels when dealing with those situations in the future. people have been rude to me on this site. i have even received what i would consider very nasty private emails. i either had to blow it off or argue with the person. getting into a conflict was useless.

i never think to check my private messages . . . so if any of you have been sending me nasty pms, i'm not getting them. so that may be a good way to deal with it -- send me pms and i won't read them!

allnurses Guide · Apr 29, 2010

.

If may be this forward, it is Nurses such as your self that inspired me to become a nurse. (I am not a nurse yet...still a student) Though it was a tragic event that led me down this path, it was people with real feelings and frustrations, and intelligence that was the final factor I used to make my decision. I can be a little rough around the edges, from being in the military and then law enforcement, so it was refreshing to know that you don't have to feel guilty for venting about your job or people for that matter. I don't have a lot of time, (I have class in 10 minutes), so I hope I made my point clear enough. Frank.

Yes, you have. I have a feeling you're going to be great at this. Many of us got into the field through our own, or our family member's experience interacting with nurses.

Just as a general observation, what really bothers me about the know-it "allnurses" (those who aren't nurses) is that what you learn through experience is impossible to really convey. The criticisms about unprofessional appearance and personality traits these people like to catalogue for us make perfect sense in their world. The problem arises when the advice contains the unwritten assumption that politicians often make, which is that the only reason difficult problems have not been solved is because their predecessors were too dumb to figure it out.

A couple of examples of subtle things you can't teach (also from this thread's evil twin the Problem With Nursing) would be the "cartoonish" scrub tops. Someone made the point that if their family member was getting very close to dying, the distraught family would be disturbed by a puppy dog print. In my experience though distraught family members do not "see" that. They have crisis-fuelled tunnel vision. They may remember you, but likely it will be your tone of voice and hot cup of coffee you offered them. And just as an aside, you offered that cup of coffee, not because a corporate drone told you to, but because you are an empathetic nurse using the brain God gave you to figure out what was appropriate in that situation!! Who da thunk it?

The same thing applies to our interaction with patients and personality types of nurses! All of us know a few nurses who might be kindly described as "really out there :nurse: ", and if you tried to describe them in one dimension, you would fail. Some of these people are the best nurses ever minted. Why? I can't tell you. It's just something you have to see. The new people who are spending most of their time lecturing us instead of listening to us are losing more than they will ever know. :twocents:

Tweety, BSN, RN · Apr 29, 2010

i KNEW all you guys were jealous of my brains and my gorgeousness and this thread proves it!

I hear you girl. It ain't easy having looks and brains. All the haters come out.

[YOUTUBE]

[/YOUTUBE]

bigfishsmallpond · Apr 30, 2010

It takes all kinds of people to be nurses, and if we can't rant and honestly admit our faults, peeves and even admit to feeling angry and resentful, then we are not human!The "Angelic" nurse was developed to keep us from complaining and actually being treated respectfully!So, use this forum as a safe place to bring your isuues-and to gain both support and criticism. Sorry, but it is what we do best.That is how change occurs.

As for telling patients "you need to take your meds correctly" or "why are you coming to the ED for this toothache AGAIN when you were referred to a dental clinic"--a big part of nursing is teaching. Sometimes that may sound cold, but we need to communicate and and promote partnership in healthcare. So many of us are burned out and feeling compasion fatigue--we really must find ways to cope with it. And,quitting is not necessarily the answer.I recently had a couple in the ED for the 3rd time in 2 months. She is preg, the boyfriend wanted to be checked for STD. They came back again-same issues-she is still preg, still not in a OB clinic, and again he wants to be checked for STD. This time he has herpes, but the doc dx'd it as folliculitis , until the culture came back. Now they are back, and SHE has herpes. Could some in your face discussion have prevented this? Instead, everyone was kind and empathetic to his concerns (not his baby),and of course he is scared.Finally, the nurse coached the g/f about domestic abuse PLUS her herpes, plus got her an appt with OB clinic.B/f was pacing and yelling in the hall that he did not have it, and she got it elsewhere...How about supporting and coaching each other instead of constantly trying to hold everyone up to an impossible standard??

caroladybelle, BSN, RN · Apr 30, 2010

I've met many patients who do not have dementia with this attitude. They don't care about our qualifcations, just that they get their needs met first. I remember one who complained about the noise our code team made rushing over from the ICU (where we keep 'em). Sure, we'll that that post op 35yo die because it's too damn noisy keeping them alive.
.

I had a 25 year old admitted with WBC of over 200,000 - to an UNMONITORED bed. As one would expect, she started to rapidly decompensate and MD, refusing to send to the unit, put her on BIPAP. So we have a wheezing, gasping, coughing BIPAP pt, and had to leave the door open to keep tabs on her.

Some visitors for another pt kept walking over and closing the door...and we kept reopening it. Finally one of them came over, got in our face, complaining "YOU HAVE TO TELL HER TO BE MORE QUIET - HER COUGHING MAKES ME FEEL LIKE VOMITING!!!!"

Priceless.

sharpeimom · May 1, 2010

i had a 25 year old admitted with wbc of over 200,000 - to an unmonitored bed. as one would expect, she started to rapidly decompensate and md, refusing to send to the unit, put her on bipap. so we have a wheezing, gasping, coughing bipap pt, and had to leave the door open to keep tabs on her.
some visitors for another pt kept walking over and closing the door...and we kept reopening it. finally one of them came over, got in our face, complaining "you have to tell her to be more quiet - her coughing makes me feel like vomiting!!!!"
priceless.

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

kathy

shar pei mom:paw::paw:

CrazierThanYou · May 1, 2010

I've met many patients who do not have dementia with this attitude. They don't care about our qualifcations, just that they get their needs met first. I remember one who complained about the noise our code team made rushing over from the ICU (where we keep 'em). Sure, we'll that that post op 35yo die because it's too damn noisy keeping them alive.
And don't even start me on the ones who say "You are a government employee, I pay your wages". Many a time I've had to bite my tongue and say "No sh8T Sherlock, who do you think is paying for your pension?" This is usually said by little old ladies who never worked outside of their home and never paid paid a cent into our pension plan. They get their pension because they are alive.

You said it all. Reminds me of a friend of mine. She's 30 years old, never worked, but she's constantly going on about her "tax money being wasted" on this and that. What tax money? She is one of those types who believes the world owes her something. Has been on Medicaid for about 12 years and runs to the ER every time her nose runs. Didn't turn her paperwork in and didn't get her food stamps for that month, complained to the social services director. Didn't matter that she didn't turn her paper work in, those food stamps are OWED TO HER!

Sorry... got off on a little rant there....

Moogie · May 2, 2010

Who are these "know it all" nurses that frequent this forum? Are you here just to drive me crazy? I hate that we are no longer allowed to vent about our bad day or complain about annoying patients. Heaven forbid we say something negative or we will be labeled as "heartless" and "unprofessional." Are these people who know everything really nurses? Do they really deal with the public day in and day out like I do?
Sometimes patients need to be put in their place. That doesn't make me a bad nurse for telling them so. Yes I do have negative thoughts about my non compliant patient who doesn't have insurance and frequents my hospital 4 times a week for the same thing. Yes, getting your prescription filled and taking your medicine would save everyone a lot of time and headache... Whoops maybe I shouldn't have said that... that makes me a "complainer" and "uncaring." I guess I AM "what is wrong with nursing today."
And heaven forbid I wear my Tom and Jerry scrub top to work.. That makes me "brainless."
I bet now I will be labeled "cruel" or "harsh" for starting this "hateful" thread.
Oh and I better not use too many smileys!!
Tiger

Sometimes, Tiger, ya gotta take a break. I love AllNurses and try to visit every day, but sometimes it gets a bit intense. I figure this place is my respite and sometimes---well---it gets hairy.

I have to admit being very frustrated over the homework queries, not only because some of the posters are looking for someone else to do their work, but also because such queries can be construed as academic dishonesty. I don't think the students who frequent these boards realize that there are instructors around here, too, and if a student posts a test question on a public forum, well, in many programs that is reason for academic discipline. Sounds harsh, but it's reality.

I also admit to feeling frustrated when people post the same things over and over and over without looking to see if there are previous threads on the topic. Yes, it is a big deal for the person who is trying to decide if he/she should go into an LPN or RN program---and which RN program---ADN, BSN, DEMSN---and yes, every person is different---but please look to see if there's already a thread on that topic before bringing it up yet again. There's a wealth of information on this board if people will just look for it.

I guess what really bothers me the most about the "know-it-AllNurses" attitude is when someone comes on here, asks for advice, then gets angry and starts attacking other posters when they give the OP exactly what he/she claimed to want. I get very sick of being attacked or being told that I am on a high horse of some kind when I am giving someone honest feedback as kindly as I can. If you already know the answer and don't want honest feedback, then don't ask for feedback from strangers who don't know you. Ask only the people who will tell you what you want to know but please don't waste time and electrons posting that you want feedback and then attack the people who don't give you the answer you want.

I have to say, too, that it's really tough to have people come on here who aren't affiliated with nursing whatsoever and who just want to bash nurses. The folks who claim to be physicians or dentists who come on here, make proclamations that they are sooooo much better than all of these "lowly" nurses---sorry---why even come on here if your whole purpose is to demoralize and put people down? To make yourself seem superior?

I think I gotta go back to my break---I'm not sure I'm ready to come back right yet.

BTW, Tiger, you got a "Tom and Jerry" scrub top? Cool! I'm more of a boring plain colors person myself but to each his/her own! I think there are a few other concerns facing our profession than nurses wearing cartoon scrubs...