There has been news recently of a transgender teen who committed suicide because her parents did not accept her and she felt society didn't, either. With that in mind, I started thinking about nursing culture and attitudes towards those who have alternative sexual orientations. How would this teen have been treated at our facility if she came in with an illness? Would we have treated her with respect? Would we have remembered to call her by her preferred name (obviously still checking name band with legal name)? What would have been our private thoughts about this patient: a messed-up kid, or a kid who knows who they are?
I have noticed -- and maybe it's just the area where I live -- that nurses seem to be tolerant and judgmental towards nurses of diverse cultures and backgrounds and disabilities, but when it comes to being homosexual there seems to be a lack of acceptance. There are a couple of nurses who have confided in me that other nurse coworkers are "probably gay" and list the reasons they think that. We have two openly gay staff and I have never seen them treated poorly because of this, but the ones who are "probably gay" are.
When I bring up the topic in a general way some nurses are offended or have strong opinions. One of my late-night talks with another nurse (charting at our stations) was about what we would do if one of our children revealed themselves to be gay. We were both agreeing that we would be accepting of it, but another nurse spoke out very strongly that none of her kids would ever be gay. Two others, who belong to a conservative religious movement that's big in our area decided they would get up and leave the conversation altogether.
When we've had a couple of peds patients with gay parents, I have been given a report that mentions that fact in a very judgmental way. When I was in nursing school I took care of a man with a male partner and found the same attitude existed with some of the nurses. To be fair, other nurses are very respectful but enough are not that it's bothersome.
I live in an area with many illegal immigrants who don't speak English and are non-paying patients. They are never treated any less for having this status, and I'm proud of that fact. They are sick, they have rights, and they and their families deserve respect. We have patients from different religious backgrounds and the parents wear traditional attire, and we make sure they are served food and have their times of prayer accommodated. We pass on cultural needs but I have never heard it mentioned in a derogatory way or with the eye rolls that accompany reports of the patients with gay parents. I have never seen medical care affected by this, but the attitude is there.
Has anyone else encountered this? What can be done about it?
Get me drunk and I'm still straight... I'm actually quite conservative in some ways. Just looking at the "cover" and not the "book", "very straight" is very much how others perceive me and it's not until you get to know me a little that I'm not anti-homosexual at all. I do accept people for who they are, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity.
But that implies that being not-straight (gay, bi, whatever) is associated with a certain stereotype, and calling yourself 'very' straight further perpetuates those stereotypes. I doubt that was your intent but that is how I perceive it regardless.
But that implies that being not-straight (gay, bi, whatever) is associated with a certain stereotype, and calling yourself 'very' straight further perpetuates those stereotypes. I doubt that was your intent but that is how I perceive it regardless.
Straight people also have a stereotype. My point was that at first glance, others perceive me as fitting that stereotype. We all have stereotypes about others. It's also difficult enough as it is to convey tone and such through the written format such as this. Perhaps describing myself in the written form as "very straight" might not have been the best choice of words... as that's usually said somewhat "tongue-in-cheek" in person, but I actually do fit a stereotype of what some homosexuals have of people they sometimes refer to as "breeders." I'm quite aware of that.
We're also very much more than what our sexual/gender orientations are. I'm straight. Good for me. You might not be. Good for you. I don't care. What I care about is that we treat each other as decent human beings. One of the finest people I've ever met is also one of the best helo pilots I've ever seen... and she's transgender. I'd go hang out and have a beer with her any day.
Don't tolerate or accept the stereotype... but remember that the stereotype does contain a truth in there as that's how it came to be... and then was amplified into what it is.
Tolerance vs. acceptance-- good point! I tend to use these words interchangeably and they shouldn't be. The reason I brought this up is I have close family member who has recently come out as gay. It has made me much more aware of this issue and I see how I would feel if that was my family member being talked about instead of just a random stranger. It made me more aware of how pervasive this negative attitude is in society, and apparently in my area of the country. I'm glad to hear that it's not everywhere. I have never seen outright discrimination because of someone's orientation, and those that are "out" are valued members of our team and highly thought of. But I also hear undercurrents of intolerance both in and out of the workplace. I just thought nurses would be more respectful than the general public.
In my own words:
tolerance means: don't necessarily agree with it, don't understand it, but don't treat the coworker or patient differently because of it
acceptance means: embrace them as they are, and see that this quality is just one more thing that makes them a unique individual
In the professional environment I'll take tolerance over bias or bigotry any day. Tolerance keeps us professional even when we work with people and care for people in a diverse environment, including ones we don't necessarily "get".
Everyone has some group that they feel judgemental towards. I've seen it directed at Gays, Republicans, Christians, Mexicans, Jews, Blacks, Muslims, Mormons, Catholics.
I have a cousin who is Gay, you should hear the trash talk from him against Christians. My point being, not everyone will approve of us and our dearly held beliefs.
The workplace should be neutral ground. Sadly, if one ideology is more dominant, it can make minority opinion holders feel excluded. Gays aren't the only ones who experience this.
Your cousin who trash talks Christians. Is it because of the Christian groups actions towards gays?
Some intolerance is created. And I am using your comments about your cousin as an example. Gays have been Christianity's whipping boy for long time. For some, just about anything done to them was allowed in the name of their religion. (not all Christians, of course)
Same thing with anything. Example politics. If someone tells you enough that your a horrible person, going to hell, etc because of the political party you are in, and constantly harassed for it, over time, you will begin to dislike or even hate the group that person is in. These are created feelings because of behavior.
Being gay, a person is born that way. They did nothing but breath, to have the hatred against them.
I have a cousin whos son is openly gay. His family has told him repeatably how disappointed they are in him. They do this all the time. He is now very flamboyant in his actions. The family was whining about it and how he shouldn't rub it in their face. I pointed out that they START IT. If they think they have the right to constantly lecture him over it, and rub their distaste over it in his face, he has the right to do the same back. They don't respect his beliefs, why should he respect theirs?? It's a two way street and some believe it they have 'right' on their side that excuses their own behavior.
Your cousin has a reason for why he feels intolerant. Kinda like how a rape victim feels about rapists. It doesn't have to be the one, they will dislike all of them the same. Some will dislike the whole gender or race, if they connected with the rape.
I actually think it's a good thing to discuss. To let others know that this really isn't an issue as much any more. It's part of a healing process.
example. I had a neighbor who thought folks didn't like her because of her skin color. She used this excuse alot. She was always looking for it. It just got old, folks got tired of hearing it. So they stopped coming around.
We HUMANS will fixate on an excuse for why folks don't like us. And will use it every time. Which means we never look to our own behavior as part of the problem. A CORRECTABLE problem.
I think we should discuss it, just not be forced to discuss it at work. I'm trying to work at work, and I don't usually have time to sit and discuss a lot, especially such volatile topics as race, religion, sexuality. I have learned the hard way to leave hot potatoes alone at work, let's go have a beer afterwards and talk it all out.
I will say though, that even as a gay person who is obviously passionate about having equal rights, homosexuality is a topic amongst many that I do not want to discuss at work, with patients or coworkers. What if someone is passionately against my viewpoint? It's hard NOT to argue your side when someone is openly against it, and work isn't the place to do it. It just makes things awkward.
I am a gay woman working in a state and hospital where I could be fired just for being gay. Many states still do not have non-discrimination laws when it comes to homosexuality. I am lucky to have never had a problem at work (despite being the only openly gay person on a unit composed of mainly older, conservative, highly religious women). I do know multiple people, including a nurse, who have lost their jobs shortly after coming out in the workplace. I doubt that is coincidental!
I think it's important to remember that people stay closeted not just for social reasons at work but out of fear of losing their job and the benefits that go along with it. I often say how lucky I feel to still be employed, and look forward to a day when I don't have to feel lucky just to be treated the same as my peers. I also look forward to being able to add my wife to my insurance policy (our marriage is legally recognized here as of two months ago, but my employer still does not offer benefits). And to second parent adoption becoming legal so our future kiddos can have the same protections as their peers. And the list goes on... We've come a long way but there is still more to come!
sjalv
897 Posts
But that implies that being not-straight (gay, bi, whatever) is associated with a certain stereotype, and calling yourself 'very' straight further perpetuates those stereotypes. I doubt that was your intent but that is how I perceive it regardless.