sorry i am a novice and nothing but a thorn in your flesh...i promise, i'll learn fast.
sorry that i make your day seem so long and bleak...i'm in your way, so i don't miss a thing
sorry that i think you're being mean to me...because you are. perception is reality.
sorry that all my questions make you want to tear your hair out...i seek only to understand
sorry that beneath all that swag i carry, you fail to see it for what it truly is- fear!
sheer fear at the amount of learning that i have to go through...
sheer fear at the thought of making a mistake..no matter how little...
sheer fear that nursing school experience even with all the stressors did not prepare me for this...
it is nothing compared to this...being on the floor on your own with no preceptor as a buffer.
fear that i would be laughed at and ridiculed..( oh don't think that i don't notice it when you do that to my fellow novice nurses....yes, sometimes to your colleagues too).
the same fear is what hinges on me that when you tell me to connect the dots, i fail to see it,
even when it is right in front of me...
and when you tell me to see the big picture, i try ...truly i do...it's just overshadowed by the little pieces i see
with the passage of time and a wealth of experience later, you forgot a vital component- you were once like me, a novice.
dear experienced nurse,
i finally realise something,
someday, i will be like you,
someday, i will have that experience..
someday, i will become an expert...
nursing school did prepare me for this...i just had to reach deep to find it.
the difference between us? i will remember how it was being a novice.
signed,
kt5
([color=lemonchiffon]could not sleep...trying out my poetry).
Had some brunch. Blood sugar back up WNL. Will now endeavor to write a coherent post.
There are nurses who whine. I did know one nurse, my mentor, my hero, the best nurse I ever met--and I'm not nearly alone in that opinion--who never whined. At least, not in the time I knew her, and I could maybe believe never. But after I got to know her as a peer, I did, rarely, hear her grumble a little. Very little, but still, if the best nurse ever could get bummed, what chance do we mortals have? And now that she is no longer with us, I don't know any nurses who don't whine.
I liked snoopy29's post, if you couldn't tell. The thing about it is, each of those examples can be seen as a case of colossal self-absorption, and would be appalling if it weren't so natural and inevitable. When you are trying to find your way as a new nurse, it does tend to seem like the most important thing in the world, because you are highly motivated to become the best nurse you can. And yes, it can be discouraging when you becoming the best nurse you can is not the most important thing in the world to everyone else. But it isn't. In the examples snoopy gave, and lots of other times, someone else's very life is at stake, and that has to take priority over your career development. And even in less extreme situations, a big part of being a working nurse is setting priorities and deciding which of many things that need your attention get your attention, first. And as much as we would all like to be systematic and evidenced-based, nursing is very much an empirical science. A lot of decisions are ad hoc, seat-of-the-pants, try something and see if it works. This is no less true of mentoring, where sometimes it's good to be the potty old uncle with a kind word and a pat on the back, and sometimes you have to be the drill sergeant.
The other thing I think needs mentioning as that "nurses eat their young," is not a startling, new thought. There have been pages and pages and pages and pages on it--I think there used to be a sticky on it--and anyone who has been a nurse more than a month is sick of hearing it. It's a slogan: a substitute for thought. I will admit, I've used it, myself, although in that case it was because most of the cafeteria staff had called off for bad weather and I was considering whether the plump, middle-aged newbie or the young, kinda skinny newbie would be a better candidate for cannabalism. But the idea that experienced nurses are mean isn't especially new, and the OP did make a choice, consciously or otherwise, to address her comments "To Experienced Nurses...", which is to say, inclusively. It could have selective: To my &%^^#$()! Preceptor...but it wasn't. So, vent or no vent, IMHO, it's fair game.
It's at this point that I invariably ask the person who brings it up to define "compassion" without looking it up first. I'm always interested in knowing what people think compassion is and what compassionate action should entail, and then I want to know how they think it should manifest in a nurse's behavior.
Most people really don't have any idea of what compassion is and how it operates in the realm of functional human interaction. The image of compassion that most have is actually outrageously dysfunctional, and the picture of compassionate nursing behavior leads right back to the traditional silent, servile handmaiden. People also make this mistake with the definition of empathy, as though it should mean the listener should have no conflicting opinions of his or her own or advice to share. Often, it is for these people that interactions are the most skewed, for whom "compassion" seems only to apply to how he or she is being treated immediately by a particular person at a particular moment. For them, compassion happens when we tell them they are right about everything no matter how wrong it looks. When we fail to do that, we are cold, unfeeling hags who "don't remember what it's like..." blah blah blah.
I sense defensiveness. Why is that? Like there is some pent-up emotion being let out.
Truly, this should not get skewed. I do not have patience for whiny people, nurses or otherwise. But in the comments I've read, "ole experienced nurses", come back slugging. What for? It is not that serious.
This was some random poetry I penned down. Experience comes with practice and hardwork- no one disputes that. But pls enough of the , "Ole experienced Nurse", sitting on her pedestal and dishing out meager words of wisdom to the new nurses(I laugh at the imagery).
i would like very much to hear your reaction to this thread when you've lived a few years longer and have, hopefully, matured a good bit and your outlook has softened somewhat. no person ever ever has the right to roll over another like a sherman tank, but, on the other hand, novices at a job (whatever their chronological age may be) cannot and must not assume malice aforethought if we make suggestions or criticisms along the way. we're not adverse to new ideas and new ways of doing things, but don't you newbies automatically assume those of us who have been at it awhile, are all lazy, unmotivated, out-of-date, crabby etc. we want to share our knowledge, help you get past that "omg! what do i do now?"
and the "ack! where's the real nurse?" feelings we all have and have had when we're new.
remember that as we grow older, our feet may hurt, we have kids to worry about, 12 hour shifts seem longer than they used to but we are a long way from being ready for being put out to pasture. katie, remember too, please, that we each have our own way of doing things and saying things. if someone is usually kind and helpful to you but today she's just plain b****y with everyone or short with you when you ask her a question, her sick mom she never got along with may just have moved in or her feet may hurt...
i have precepted many new nurses in my years and, as i recall, most were willing to learn and went on to become good psych nurses, but an unfortunate few already knew more than freud and florence herself and wanted to hear nothing from anyone else. they were way beyond reach.
please drop your hostility and defensiveness and become a proper member of the nursing sisterhood and brotherhood.
But pls enough of the , "Ole experienced Nurse", sitting on her pedestal and dishing out meager words of wisdom to the new nurses(I laugh at the imagery).
And therein lies the problem. Most of the words of wisdom that have been handed out by the more seasoned nurses are being met with this kind of derision. Why would you laugh at the thought of somebody trying to help you see the bigger picture. I liked your poem up until the line where you said you wouldn't be like us because you would remember how it was to be a new nurse. I'd wager that most of us DO remember and want to be good mentors.But if you don't want to hear what we have to say then why should we even bother. It seems like we are being painted with a very broad brush. I, personally, find that offensive. There are always going to be people who are stinkers in your life. I'm beginning to think this whole "eating our young" thing has become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Many are told about it before they even start their first clinicals. So the very first time somebody disagrees with them or is just plain disagreeable all the "old nurse eating young nurse" alarm bells go off in their heads and it spirals down from there. Soon it becomes a prevailing theme. Sure there are some nasty creatures in nursing...I've been a victim of it myself. But the VAST majority of the people I have worked with have been wonderful. Personally I think the nasty ones are probably just nasty in general and it has nothing to do with your status. I've been eaten as a youngling and as recently as last year. So please, take the time to listen to those of us who have stood in your shoes. Don't dismiss our words as "meager advice". If we care enough about how you feel as a young nurse to stick our necks out here and risk being mocked by the very people we are trying to help doesn't that say anything to you about the kind of people we are?
Also I would add so sorry I'm new,you were new once too.
Sorry that I ask "stupid" questions,you also once asked stupid questions.
Sorry that I ask you to double check my assessments and interventions (even the simplest one),it may appear to you that I know know much of anything anything but I dont have as much as experience as you do.
Sorry that I'm being "slow",I have only been on this floor for a very short period of time.
So sorry that I constantly ask you where the supplies are,again you have been there for a long time while I'm new to this floor
Sorry that I got hired into your floor as a unexperienced new grad,we all have to start somewhere.
Sorry that I "like" your floor and dont want to scream and run.
I guess I'm sorry that I'm your shadow.
Again,what is up with all this seasoned nurses eating their youngs???
i'm beginning to think some/many(?) of these "young" are so darned insecure, short-sighted and downright arrogant, that it's no wonder they haven't been eaten and spit out again.
if the op (katie) is representative of how a new nurse acts, it's no wonder she hasn't written a book, nevermind a poem.
but i won't "laugh at the imagery", katie.
i can only smile, however sadly...
for all the wise advice you've received, and for all you've yet to learn.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
i don't know who "we nurses" are, but i for one, have always resented that descriptor.
while compassion can and does come into play, it is not that particular adjective that defines us as nurses.
would much rather be known as confident, competent and perceptive.
leslie
i have found -- on this board anyway -- that those who use the word "compassionate" are usually using it as a club. "i'm more compassionate than you," "nurses who go into it for the money lack compassion," "why can't nurses be more compassionate" and so on. competent, hardworking and perceptive are better descriptors.
i'm beginning to think some/many(?) of these "young" are so darned insecure, short-sighted and downright arrogant, that it's no wonder they haven't been eaten and spit out again.
if the op (katie) is representative of how a new nurse acts, it's no wonder she hasn't written a book, nevermind a poem.
but i won't "laugh at the imagery", katie.
i can only smile, however sadly...
for all the wise advice you've received, and for all you've yet to learn.
ftr, you are free to have this thread closed.
i'm quite sure many of us wouldn't mind.
leslie
No! Commend or disagree with me, as you will. But please do not paint all new nurses the same. Do not turn around and paint all new nurses with the same brush as you oft accuse others of painting old nurses with one brush.
I can imagine, it is at this point, you would want to wring my neck.
Katie5
1,459 Posts
And we say nurses are the most compassionate....