sorry i am a novice and nothing but a thorn in your flesh...i promise, i'll learn fast.
sorry that i make your day seem so long and bleak...i'm in your way, so i don't miss a thing
sorry that i think you're being mean to me...because you are. perception is reality.
sorry that all my questions make you want to tear your hair out...i seek only to understand
sorry that beneath all that swag i carry, you fail to see it for what it truly is- fear!
sheer fear at the amount of learning that i have to go through...
sheer fear at the thought of making a mistake..no matter how little...
sheer fear that nursing school experience even with all the stressors did not prepare me for this...
it is nothing compared to this...being on the floor on your own with no preceptor as a buffer.
fear that i would be laughed at and ridiculed..( oh don't think that i don't notice it when you do that to my fellow novice nurses....yes, sometimes to your colleagues too).
the same fear is what hinges on me that when you tell me to connect the dots, i fail to see it,
even when it is right in front of me...
and when you tell me to see the big picture, i try ...truly i do...it's just overshadowed by the little pieces i see
with the passage of time and a wealth of experience later, you forgot a vital component- you were once like me, a novice.
dear experienced nurse,
i finally realise something,
someday, i will be like you,
someday, i will have that experience..
someday, i will become an expert...
nursing school did prepare me for this...i just had to reach deep to find it.
the difference between us? i will remember how it was being a novice.
signed,
kt5
([color=lemonchiffon]could not sleep...trying out my poetry).
Obviously in a perfect world no one should be "mean" to anyone else. In a perfect world all nurses should have infinite patience for one another and especially for those who are just learning. No one should be precepting unless he or she wants the job and has proven they can work with orientees in a positive manner.
Unfortunately, we do not live in a perfect world. Not that you're wrong for pointing out areas in which you believe we need change, Katie5. But somehow you are going to have to learn how to get along in the messy real world, with real human beings who are sometimes mean, thoughtless, arrogant, impatient---you name it. That doesn't mean you have to condone what is, but you're going to have to learn to live with what is while you work toward what could be. If you don't, it's going to be hard for you to stay in nursing for the long haul. Because we deal with everybody, every personality under the sun.
There are lots of books and internet sources out there which deal with getting along with "difficult" people. Maybe you could find some helpful strategies there. Because you can't just hope that the hard-to-get-along-with people will change. You have to get smart and learn to work with them and around them. This information will come in handy whatever you do.
The other reason I like to recommend books on dealing with difficult people is that sometimes we can see that we, too, can be difficult to work with. Maybe there's a trait I have that really needs work, now that I come to think of it. If you find you have some "difficult" ways, this is your chance to be proactive in making changes in yourself that will stand you in good stead as you move up the nursing ladder.
I've found that I can learn from people I don't like or respect. It's not my preference, but I CAN learn. I think you can, too. Don't let you emotions get in the way of your education.
Finally, I am so tired of hearing how "nurses eat their young." No...PEOPLE eat their young. I don't believe the nursing culture is any worse than corporate office culture or academia. ALL of those venues are filled with people being mean, trying to keep others down, etc. Nurses are just a subset of humanity.
What a shame - when the OP first posted I thought interesting here is a bright articulate new grad struggling a bit with the reponses she was ,getting from more experienced nurses. I read a number of deeply insightful responses from experienced (and note I simply say experienced, not older or better or wiser) nurses given very good and gentle guidance.
And then what happens is that the OP comes back and has a direct pop at Ruby Vee and I put my hands in my head.
To the op and the other new grads I would implore you to read, really read Kushkinba and Nursemikes posts.
The fundamental difference between newbies and experienced nurses is that each and every experienced nurse has been a newbie but newbie's can only speculate on what they will be like when experienced. Until you have walked in our shoes no-one can honestly do that.
I am a gentle preceptor and I like mentoring new grads. But on occasions I have been perceived as ""mean:-
I was sat in triage when a distraught man ran into the department shouting for help. I got up and ran calling the only other available nurse a new grad to come with me. We got to the car and found a 12 year old little girl in respiratory arrest. We were some distance from the ED so I turned and asked my colleague to go back and pull the arrest bell and put a code out. I asked Dad to run back in to the department and shout for help until it came. I'm not particularly big and 12 year old had rolled forward and got wedged in the footwell so my first task was getting her out. I managed to haul her out only to find new grad still stood open mouthed by the side of the car. So strike me down I shouted, yes adrenaline was pumping and yes I was scared as hell that I was going to lose this child so I shouted "go and put a call out now" Thankfully at that moment Dad arrived back with help and we managed to resusitate that little girl. I spoke to the nurse afterwards and she said she felt I should have been more understanding as it was her first paed arrest. I did apologise for shouting but my choice was shout or not get help. I leave you to conclude what you would have done.
I refused to answer a new grad's questions once and they told me I was unhelpful. We were in the room with a young man who had died after coming off his motorbike his distraught parent's were grieving and we were hovering mainly in case Mum collapsed. Grief had utterly overwhelmed her and when we initially told her the awful news she had fainted. Although whispered whilst in the room new grad asked me a practical question relating to the patients C Spine immoboilisation and I whispered back "later". I asked new grad about the question and she said that she had forgotten what it was and that it was unhelpful to not be able to question when the thought arose.
I have been accused of embarrasing a new grad. I was co-ordinating and had a pt with known Af and an infection come in. Looked at the paramedics ECG and put him in majors to be assessed. Whilst I was sorting out some other bits, without consultation with me the pt got moved to resus. I went in to find very anxious pt and relatives and an awful lot of drug drawing up going on. I asked what was happening and new grad said that the pt was in SVT and would need cardioverting and this had all been explained to the very frightened pt. Took one look at the ECG and what did it show fast AF of course - bet you were there before me. I apologised to the pt, explained what was happening and suggested that he be put back in his earlier room. The new grad said that by undermining what she had done she felt embarassed. She felt that the fault lay with the doctor who had signed off the ECG as SVT. I explained that if she had just run it by me I would have double checked the ecg and the pt who was discharged 2 hours later would not have had the fright he had.
Each of those new grads perceived me to be both mean and nasty. The saddest thing about this post is that it takes away from all the other new grads who are keen and motivated and take guidance as simply that and thus grow and learn and become better nurses than I will ever be.
So in light of the OP's later posts I would suggest that she needs to reflect and apologise to Ruby Vee. I am sure that Ruby will lose no sleep over them but I found them insulting to experienced nurses as a whole. I know that if she kicked my butt I would know that not only did I need some hard self reflection but over time she would turn out to be right. Quite frankly and I await the flames I think a little bit of humility would go a long way here and I am disappointed.
Just wanted to clarify that am not a new grad and my opinions were soley based on what a saw some preceptors do. Not all of them were necessarily old...just bad attitude.
What a shame - when the OP first posted I thought interesting here is a bright articulate new grad struggling a bit with the reponses she was ,getting from more experienced nurses. I read a number of deeply insightful responses from experienced (and note I simply say experienced, not older or better or wiser) nurses given very good and gentle guidance.
And then what happens is that the OP comes back and has a direct pop at Ruby Vee and I put my hands in my head.
To the op and the other new grads I would implore you to read, really read Kushkinba and Nursemikes posts.
The fundamental difference between newbies and experienced nurses is that each and every experienced nurse has been a newbie but newbie's can only speculate on what they will be like when experienced. Until you have walked in our shoes no-one can honestly do that.
I am a gentle preceptor and I like mentoring new grads. But on occasions I have been perceived as ""mean:-
I was sat in triage when a distraught man ran into the department shouting for help. I got up and ran calling the only other available nurse a new grad to come with me. We got to the car and found a 12 year old little girl in respiratory arrest. We were some distance from the ED so I turned and asked my colleague to go back and pull the arrest bell and put a code out. I asked Dad to run back in to the department and shout for help until it came. I'm not particularly big and 12 year old had rolled forward and got wedged in the footwell so my first task was getting her out. I managed to haul her out only to find new grad still stood open mouthed by the side of the car. So strike me down I shouted, yes adrenaline was pumping and yes I was scared as hell that I was going to lose this child so I shouted "go and put a call out now" Thankfully at that moment Dad arrived back with help and we managed to resusitate that little girl. I spoke to the nurse afterwards and she said she felt I should have been more understanding as it was her first paed arrest. I did apologise for shouting but my choice was shout or not get help. I leave you to conclude what you would have done.
I refused to answer a new grad's questions once and they told me I was unhelpful. We were in the room with a young man who had died after coming off his motorbike his distraught parent's were grieving and we were hovering mainly in case Mum collapsed. Grief had utterly overwhelmed her and when we initially told her the awful news she had fainted. Although whispered whilst in the room new grad asked me a practical question relating to the patients C Spine immoboilisation and I whispered back "later". I asked new grad about the question and she said that she had forgotten what it was and that it was unhelpful to not be able to question when the thought arose.
I have been accused of embarrasing a new grad. I was co-ordinating and had a pt with known Af and an infection come in. Looked at the paramedics ECG and put him in majors to be assessed. Whilst I was sorting out some other bits, without consultation with me the pt got moved to resus. I went in to find very anxious pt and relatives and an awful lot of drug drawing up going on. I asked what was happening and new grad said that the pt was in SVT and would need cardioverting and this had all been explained to the very frightened pt. Took one look at the ECG and what did it show fast AF of course - bet you were there before me. I apologised to the pt, explained what was happening and suggested that he be put back in his earlier room. The new grad said that by undermining what she had done she felt embarassed. She felt that the fault lay with the doctor who had signed off the ECG as SVT. I explained that if she had just run it by me I would have double checked the ecg and the pt who was discharged 2 hours later would not have had the fright he had.
Each of those new grads perceived me to be both mean and nasty. The saddest thing about this post is that it takes away from all the other new grads who are keen and motivated and take guidance as simply that and thus grow and learn and become better nurses than I will ever be.
So in light of the OP's later posts I would suggest that she needs to reflect and apologise to Ruby Vee. I am sure that Ruby will lose no sleep over them but I found them insulting to experienced nurses as a whole. I know that if she kicked my butt I would know that not only did I need some hard self reflection but over time she would turn out to be right. Quite frankly and I await the flames I think a little bit of humility would go a long way here and I am disappointed.
I couldn't read all that...but ok. Does the OP get a time-out too? I can imagine, it is at this point, you would want to wring my neck.
What a shame - when the OP first posted I thought interesting here is a bright articulate new grad struggling a bit with the reponses she was ,getting from more experienced nurses. I read a number of deeply insightful responses from experienced (and note I simply say experienced, not older or better or wiser) nurses given very good and gentle guidance.
And then what happens is that the OP comes back and has a direct pop at Ruby Vee and I put my hands in my head.
To the op and the other new grads I would implore you to read, really read Kushkinba and Nursemikes posts.
The fundamental difference between newbies and experienced nurses is that each and every experienced nurse has been a newbie but newbie's can only speculate on what they will be like when experienced. Until you have walked in our shoes no-one can honestly do that.
I am a gentle preceptor and I like mentoring new grads. But on occasions I have been perceived as ""mean:-
I was sat in triage when a distraught man ran into the department shouting for help. I got up and ran calling the only other available nurse a new grad to come with me. We got to the car and found a 12 year old little girl in respiratory arrest. We were some distance from the ED so I turned and asked my colleague to go back and pull the arrest bell and put a code out. I asked Dad to run back in to the department and shout for help until it came. I'm not particularly big and 12 year old had rolled forward and got wedged in the footwell so my first task was getting her out. I managed to haul her out only to find new grad still stood open mouthed by the side of the car. So strike me down I shouted, yes adrenaline was pumping and yes I was scared as hell that I was going to lose this child so I shouted "go and put a call out now" Thankfully at that moment Dad arrived back with help and we managed to resusitate that little girl. I spoke to the nurse afterwards and she said she felt I should have been more understanding as it was her first paed arrest. I did apologise for shouting but my choice was shout or not get help. I leave you to conclude what you would have done.
I refused to answer a new grad's questions once and they told me I was unhelpful. We were in the room with a young man who had died after coming off his motorbike his distraught parent's were grieving and we were hovering mainly in case Mum collapsed. Grief had utterly overwhelmed her and when we initially told her the awful news she had fainted. Although whispered whilst in the room new grad asked me a practical question relating to the patients C Spine immoboilisation and I whispered back "later". I asked new grad about the question and she said that she had forgotten what it was and that it was unhelpful to not be able to question when the thought arose.
I have been accused of embarrasing a new grad. I was co-ordinating and had a pt with known Af and an infection come in. Looked at the paramedics ECG and put him in majors to be assessed. Whilst I was sorting out some other bits, without consultation with me the pt got moved to resus. I went in to find very anxious pt and relatives and an awful lot of drug drawing up going on. I asked what was happening and new grad said that the pt was in SVT and would need cardioverting and this had all been explained to the very frightened pt. Took one look at the ECG and what did it show fast AF of course - bet you were there before me. I apologised to the pt, explained what was happening and suggested that he be put back in his earlier room. The new grad said that by undermining what she had done she felt embarassed. She felt that the fault lay with the doctor who had signed off the ECG as SVT. I explained that if she had just run it by me I would have double checked the ecg and the pt who was discharged 2 hours later would not have had the fright he had.
Each of those new grads perceived me to be both mean and nasty. The saddest thing about this post is that it takes away from all the other new grads who are keen and motivated and take guidance as simply that and thus grow and learn and become better nurses than I will ever be.
So in light of the OP's later posts I would suggest that she needs to reflect and apologise to Ruby Vee. I am sure that Ruby will lose no sleep over them but I found them insulting to experienced nurses as a whole. I know that if she kicked my butt I would know that not only did I need some hard self reflection but over time she would turn out to be right. Quite frankly and I await the flames I think a little bit of humility would go a long way here and I am disappointed.
I think you make an excellent point about humility. On these boards and in life, it's a major prerequisite to learning. Of course, everyone sometimes uses these boards as a place to vent and let out our evil impulses, and that's probably better than letting them out on the job. But there are better uses for allnurses than venting, and one of the best is learning. That requires, I believe, keeping an open mind to things you may not want to hear, and that, I think, requires a degree of humility. Even if you ultimately reject an idea, giving it serious consideration can help prompt ideas of your own that can be useful. I know I got into some epic debates on the related subjects of male nurses working OB and male nurses/female patients, and while I won't say my initial opinion changed 180 degrees, it probably did change 15-20 degrees. I didn't like the opinions that were contrary to mine, and in some cases I had every right not to, but some of those who disagreed with me taught me things I now use in my practice pretty regularly. (Which, yet again, just goes to show I'm a genius, and the main reason I'm so incredibly great in every imagineable way is precisely because--you guessed it: I'm humble. But I digress.)
I seem to have wandered off-topic, a bit. I do that, sometimes.
Oh, yeah, humility. It's not just for newbies. I've refrained from citing examples of newbies being dumb asses, partly because I wouldn't want a co-worker to come on here (I tend to recommend allnurses to coworkers, especially newbies) and see me telling the world what a dumb ass she was, and partly--mostly--because in most of the really juicy ones, I was the newbie/dumb ass. But I think one of the key differences between new nurses and experienced nurses is that new nurses are shocked and hurt being treated like dumb asses, whereas experienced nurses are more used to it.
I find myself in a transition phase, lately. Approaching my fifth year, I seem to have survived the transition from student nurse to working nurse, and just as one of my mentors said I would, I'm feeling more comfortable in my practice. So, now I seem to be transitioning from new nurse to experienced nurse, and it has it's own challenges.
However, yet again, my experience as a carpenter is proving helpful. In carpentry, an apprentice is learning to do tasks under supervision, a journeyman is one who can do most tasks independently, and a master is one who can supervise and instruct others. So, as a journeyman nurse, I'm asking all you master nurses: will I always be in transition from one thing to another?
I haven't actually been asked to mentor an orientee, yet, other than filling in a couple times when the planned mentor called off. I have the nagging suspicion that some of my ideas may scare my nurse manager and nurse preceptor. Critical thinking, for example: a big mistake. You can critically think until you're blue in the face, and all you have to show for it is a patient who is blue in his face. Stop thinking. Do something. See if it works. It's true that all phases of the nursing process are equally important, but without implementation, all of the others are just hot air. Self-confidence: highly overrated. There's no point pretending you've started a thousand IVs, or Foleys, or whatever. They're gonna know in two minutes that you haven't. Most patients will be relieved if you just promise you won't do anything stupid.
In my previous job, I actually wrote a disorientation manual, to correct all the crazy ideas you learn in orientation. Maybe I'll do the same for nursing, and publish it, and then live off the royalties as I transition to unemployment.
Sorry, but in what world is calling someone "whiney" not going to get a direct pop? I saw some really constructive and helpful comments from more experienced nurses too, and I've been learning a lot, but in the OPs defense I definitely thought some went overboard.
Sorry, but in what world is calling someone "whiney" not going to get a direct pop? I saw some really constructive and helpful comments from more experienced nurses too, and I've been learning a lot, but in the OPs defense I definitely thought some went overboard.
I can imagine, it is at this point, you would want to wring my neck.
maxthecat
243 Posts
Obviously in a perfect world no one should be "mean" to anyone else. In a perfect world all nurses should have infinite patience for one another and especially for those who are just learning. No one should be precepting unless he or she wants the job and has proven they can work with orientees in a positive manner.
Unfortunately, we do not live in a perfect world. Not that you're wrong for pointing out areas in which you believe we need change, Katie5. But somehow you are going to have to learn how to get along in the messy real world, with real human beings who are sometimes mean, thoughtless, arrogant, impatient---you name it. That doesn't mean you have to condone what is, but you're going to have to learn to live with what is while you work toward what could be. If you don't, it's going to be hard for you to stay in nursing for the long haul. Because we deal with everybody, every personality under the sun.
There are lots of books and internet sources out there which deal with getting along with "difficult" people. Maybe you could find some helpful strategies there. Because you can't just hope that the hard-to-get-along-with people will change. You have to get smart and learn to work with them and around them. This information will come in handy whatever you do.
The other reason I like to recommend books on dealing with difficult people is that sometimes we can see that we, too, can be difficult to work with. Maybe there's a trait I have that really needs work, now that I come to think of it. If you find you have some "difficult" ways, this is your chance to be proactive in making changes in yourself that will stand you in good stead as you move up the nursing ladder.
I've found that I can learn from people I don't like or respect. It's not my preference, but I CAN learn. I think you can, too. Don't let you emotions get in the way of your education.
Finally, I am so tired of hearing how "nurses eat their young." No...PEOPLE eat their young. I don't believe the nursing culture is any worse than corporate office culture or academia. ALL of those venues are filled with people being mean, trying to keep others down, etc. Nurses are just a subset of humanity.