sorry i am a novice and nothing but a thorn in your flesh...i promise, i'll learn fast.
sorry that i make your day seem so long and bleak...i'm in your way, so i don't miss a thing
sorry that i think you're being mean to me...because you are. perception is reality.
sorry that all my questions make you want to tear your hair out...i seek only to understand
sorry that beneath all that swag i carry, you fail to see it for what it truly is- fear!
sheer fear at the amount of learning that i have to go through...
sheer fear at the thought of making a mistake..no matter how little...
sheer fear that nursing school experience even with all the stressors did not prepare me for this...
it is nothing compared to this...being on the floor on your own with no preceptor as a buffer.
fear that i would be laughed at and ridiculed..( oh don't think that i don't notice it when you do that to my fellow novice nurses....yes, sometimes to your colleagues too).
the same fear is what hinges on me that when you tell me to connect the dots, i fail to see it,
even when it is right in front of me...
and when you tell me to see the big picture, i try ...truly i do...it's just overshadowed by the little pieces i see
with the passage of time and a wealth of experience later, you forgot a vital component- you were once like me, a novice.
dear experienced nurse,
i finally realise something,
someday, i will be like you,
someday, i will have that experience..
someday, i will become an expert...
nursing school did prepare me for this...i just had to reach deep to find it.
the difference between us? i will remember how it was being a novice.
signed,
kt5
([color=lemonchiffon]could not sleep...trying out my poetry).
Yeah but there is a very thin line between trying to help someone become a better nurse and discouraging someone..
YES! YES! YES! It can indeed be a very thin line, which is often what makes it so hard. And, yeah, sure, okay, there are those who've gone so far past the line it's like there never was one, who actively want to discourage you. But I don't think any of the mean nurses on this thread are like that. "Tough love" is love. It may not be the most welcome form, and often not the most appropriate, but does intention count for nothing?
Eh, maybe not. So, how about this: how many chances do you deserve? If you ask the same question 3-4 times, do you expect a patient answer when you ask it 40 times? How many times do you need to stand in the wrong place during a procedure? Or pull up the wrong med? Are you going to be content to be at the same level of practice you are, now, fifteen years from now?
Some people act cocky to mask their fear, but some act cocky because they're jerks. Some people whine because they're in pain, or under stress, or afraid, or all of the above. But some are just crybabies.
It's a true fact that we need new nurses coming up. But it's also true that there are some great ones, and others who need to work on some things but are going to be great, that you're happy to invest your time in. But just as there truly are a few experienced nurses who truly are just mean, there are also new nurses who are too lazy or too arrogant to ever amount to anything. And only you can decide which you want to be.
Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
I was with you Katie5, and I could see your attempt at humor in your poem despite the barb at the end about "ole" nurses not remembering what it is like to be a novice. I didn't feel the slightest bit defensive. But starting with your crack at Snoopy29 "I couldn't read all that" and apparently seeing the input of the experienced nurses as something of a joke that seemed to remind you of the archetypal older evil woman you see in Disney movies, I think you crossed the line.
I try really hard to avoid the generalities "they always. . ." and "we never. . .", because I do remember, and so does everyone else. Right now, I'm done trying. I agree with Leslie. Well. . . . . almost. :) There are a few students here that I know I would love to work with. I enjoy reading things from them. I also enjoy learning things from them, as Ruby talked about in another thread. It's all about the attitude.
Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
Awww, thank you so much Sharpiemom! One thing I have learned in my short nursing career is I learn from EVERYONE, no matter how good or bad the fit may be. I also consider myself teachable as I am hungry for knowledge. I have hopes of maybe going into education one day, so trust me, I'm learning alot!
I feel that way, too! I have a new grad working with me right now and she is a delight! Sounds like you would be, too. I learn from everyone- although reading some of these I'm kinda afraid to say 'boo!" the wrong way, yikes! Maybe she thinks I'm a weirdo for being too nice, lol, but I'm not in a pressure cooker specialty like ICU. Best wishes!!
Specializes in Management, Emergency, Psych, Med Surg.
I DO remember what it was like to be a new grad but I have to say that for the most part when I was in orientation people did not have to tell me things twice. Once was enough. I paid attention. I could read a form and fill in a blank space. I would read the progress notes. I would read the order sheets. I would look stuff up. I was not always on the heels of the preceptor asking "does the doctor want this or that". Read the notes. Read the orders. I love working with students and finding learning experiences for them. We have students on our floor almost every day. I used to be the clinical instructor in a level I trauma center with about 350 patient visits a day and I would have 8 new nurses to train at once. But I told them up front... If you are shy and can't speak up, quit now. If you can't go home and read up on abdominal trauma after work, then we have a problem. If you can't look stuff up, like your meds, then you are not going to make it. Because at some point you are going to be on your own and you will have to just jump in.
I have a nurse on my unit right now who has been out of school for almost a year. She worked on our unit as a CNA while she was in school. But you would think that she had never set foot in a hospital. When she graduated I was very proud of her. I brought her a bunch of my books for her to use as a reference. I tried to mentor her. But I cannot get her to read a progress note. I cannot get her to read an order. I have tried to explain to her that before you call the doctor for an abnormal lab, look at the note and see if he/ she perhaps is already aware of the result. Make sure you are calling the right doctor. I am getting tired of going over this material with her over and over.
I have another new nurse who hit the ground running. She is a fast learner. Show her once and she has it. There is stuff she does not know. She comes to get me, I show her and then that's it, she has it. She is not afraid to make a decision or touch a patient.
Nursing is hard but learning does not stop when you graduate. I read something medical every day. I am constantly looking stuff up because you have to in order to keep up.
I am not getting down on new nurses or any new employee. I just need for people to step up, pay attention, ask questions, take notes, read, study and get with it. I cannot have you on orientation forever.
Specializes in Peds Critical Care, Dialysis, General.
AfrocentricRN:
I have threads you've started and your posts on this thread. I have only one thing to say YOU ROCK!!! You are the kind of new grad we preceptors long for! You have a long, successful and rewarding career ahead of you with your terrific attitude.
Ruby Vee, leslie - you are my most valued sources of advice on this board, as well as Daytonite. When y'all speak (well, ok, write) I read and learn. Keep on!
I precept new grads as well as nursing students. There are some that were terrific and some not so terrific. I love an open, questioning mind, but sometimes you gotta just "do" and explain later. My favorite preceptee was a nursing student in her final semester. When we had codes, she stayed put and did the things she could do. No time for thanks, you did great until later. She was floored at the positive feedback - she was told she kept her head and most importantly, didn't run!
I do believe this thread should be shut down. Just no learning here.
I understand your post and agree that new nurses are very often the focus of alot of disrespect and frustration! I'm taking on a nursing student for that very reason...I don't want her to have a bad experience. To those that are saying she's whiny or what have you...she has a valid complaint and should be able to express it. I don't think she's saying all nurses are like that but it just takes one to make you feel incompetent and unwelcome. Please don't dismiss her feelings... you either get them out or suffer silently. We all know there are lots of nurses that "eat their young"....it's ugly and sad.
Specializes in Med/surg, ER/ED,rehab ,nursing home.
I have a difficult time when a newbie WASTES time on their cell phone, or computer doing Facebook, game playing, and then freaks out that they feel picked on. You are payed to do a job, not be at a social event. I will help you learn, I do not mind showing a skill, or answering questions. But please do not act like a 2 yr old when I can not stop at that very second to attend to your needs. I have a patient load to care for, too.
Really, I wish more new to the field nurses would ask questions and get needed help. Maybe it is just growing up.
OMG, I am so embarrassed as a human being and as a "Professional Nurse", that as a new nurse you were made to feel this way. It is so very unfortunate that some nurses do in fact eat their young. I as an experienced and killed Neuro Critical Care Nurse would never, have never and couldn't ever think of treating another peer, novice or experienced the way you were. And your right, we as experienced nurses were where you are once too. And for the "Experienced Nurse" that replied and told you to get a grip as it will pass, shame on him or her. Thats not what nursing is, its about nurturing and fostering our profession among our peers. I am a male nurse of 12 years, and proud to be a nurse, and love to teach and nurture "baby" nurses... Why, because you are the future and my ability to retire. Your are my security in knowing that I will work with competent safe nurses that will have each other's backs. Nursing is not a job, its a career but mor importantly a profession, Look at your license, it says....... " Licensed Registered Professional Nurse"
Katie5, I beg to differ, you will not be like her some day, because you will remember where you came from, and because of that, you will foster our profession, and help get nursing back to where it needs to be, a caring, mentoring, and nurturing profession to our patient, families, and peers, and not just a paycheck. Thank you, thank you, thank you for regrounding me with your letter, and helping me to also again remember where I came from.
i firmly believe that "mean", like beauty is in the eye of the beholder. sometimes those "mean nurses" are honestly trying to help you but you just don't get it.
ruby you really do have it in for new nurses you do not cut them any slack geeezzzz you do realize you could be a little biased here----not all new nurses are exaggerating what they are saying--there are some mean nurses out there and they have been fired for their attitudes towards patients as well as coworkers so please chill out with the holier than thou attitude pleaseeeee enough is enough---look my mom always said if you do not have anything good to say just do not say anything at all
This has been a really interesting thread with many ideas worthy of consideration.
For the newbie nurses:
Separate your worth as a person from your skill level as a nurse. Confusing the two will only lead to unnecessary anguish.
Recognize that your preceptor is NOT your clinical instructor. For the CI, you and your classmates WERE the job. For your preceptor, you are but one part of her long to-do list, and your actions-or lack thereof--can make that list even longer.
Clinical instructors get paid to be the mother hen. Some facilities offer a small differential for precepting, but many don't provide anything at all except a few brownie points on the yearly eval. That's a lot of extra responsibility and hassle with no direct compensation.
In a perfect world, orientation responsibilities would be given to nurses who either like to precept or who don't mind doing it. This would spare others who would really rather not--because they know they are not good teachers or they understand they have a brusque style or maybe they're going through hard times outside the job, and they just don't need the additional stress. Unfortunately, it doesn't always work this way and that can cast a shadow over the relationship from the get-go. That's life. We all have get through it.
People under stress have a very narrow focus--survival. But that focus needs to enlarge or you will function as if it's all about you. No matter how well you understand the reality that you are just one part of the equation, if you get tripped up by your emotions, you will act in a self-centered manner, and that just doesn't work.
You may still have those emotions. Just don't let yourself be run by them.
Transitioning from new grad to seasoned nurse is a lot like the birth process. For most of us it includes a fair amount of pain and anxiety. There is a ton of uncomfortable stretching and an unbelievable amount of accommodation. Seems like you can't remember half of what you learned ahead of time. And just when you think you want to die to end the misery, the worst is over and the baby (you) arrives.
To the seasoned nurses:
Seeming mean and being mean are two very different things. The first is too subjective to try to eliminate. The second is just plain wrong.
Even when you are totally justified in snapping at a newbie--she's a deer in the headlights in an emergent situation, you've told her the same thing six times, etc.--at some point try to explain why you're frustrated. It isn't that you're a witch on wheels; it's the fact that you're trying to get her moving, to ignite a badly needed spark, to impress upon her the importance of the tasks at hand.
If you have other issues--stress at home, a worrisome kid, a migraine--it might help to let her know you're only human.
Try to find something she's doing right. Sometimes a kind word can stop the downward spiral and turn the day around.
Very interesting posts, gives me a little insight and feel for the experiences to come. I respect you all for your work. Our son is fighting AML (cancer), and I get to see what you great nurses are doing for him. You really do make a world of difference, and just like the nurses currently taking care of him now, I thank you.
Yea, I went through the same thing when I started-It's even worse as a male nurse. I say this because you're a man and I don't care how much experience you have, you are never in the "In crowd." There were always groups of nurses hanging out after work or friends on the weekends but it never happened for me because you're a man in a woman's world and it's tough to fit into an Avon gathering . Just my :twocents:about being a male nurse.
The truth about precepting is that a a lot of nurses get chosen by management to precept even though they never chose to do it and really aren't teacher material-they're just good at their jobs. These nurses see you as a burden slowing them down, someone interrupting their chats with their "Home girls" or their smoke breaks or lunch breaks. It's really managements fault, in my opinion, to put a new nurse with someone who doesn't want you there to start with. I lost count of the preceptors I was put with that fit this description-You're set up to fail from the start. It seems like a lot of female nurses out there just have something to prove and I don't get it-They walk on everyone, including doctor's.
However, nursing seems to be the worst profession for eating their young. I say this because I'm a professional X3 and never once had this problem working in a blue collar job around all men-It's a woman thing. If you ask me, I think a lot of nurses are unhappy with their job, in general. A lot of them will lie about enjoying their job also. I worked with an LPN with 40+ yrs experience who was a hell of a good nurse and claimed she loved what she was doing. The problem is that she spent the entire shift ******** about everything.. .....and made the day miserable working with her. She really hated a much younger and male nurse in charge of her!!!!:lol2: For someone who loved her job, she sure didn't show it. I've seen people who loved their job and showed it but they sure weren't nurses.
If you ask me, I think a lot of nurses are unhappy with their job, in general. A lot of them will lie about enjoying their job also. I worked with an LPN with 40+ yrs experience who was a hell of a good nurse and claimed she loved what she was doing. The problem is that she spent the entire shift ******** about everything.. .....and made the day miserable working with her. She really hated a much younger and male nurse in charge of her!!!!
:lol2: For someone who loved her job, she sure didn't show it. I've seen people who loved their job and showed it but they sure weren't nurses.
nursemike, ASN, RN
1 Article; 2,362 Posts
YES! YES! YES! It can indeed be a very thin line, which is often what makes it so hard. And, yeah, sure, okay, there are those who've gone so far past the line it's like there never was one, who actively want to discourage you. But I don't think any of the mean nurses on this thread are like that. "Tough love" is love. It may not be the most welcome form, and often not the most appropriate, but does intention count for nothing?
Eh, maybe not. So, how about this: how many chances do you deserve? If you ask the same question 3-4 times, do you expect a patient answer when you ask it 40 times? How many times do you need to stand in the wrong place during a procedure? Or pull up the wrong med? Are you going to be content to be at the same level of practice you are, now, fifteen years from now?
Some people act cocky to mask their fear, but some act cocky because they're jerks. Some people whine because they're in pain, or under stress, or afraid, or all of the above. But some are just crybabies.
It's a true fact that we need new nurses coming up. But it's also true that there are some great ones, and others who need to work on some things but are going to be great, that you're happy to invest your time in. But just as there truly are a few experienced nurses who truly are just mean, there are also new nurses who are too lazy or too arrogant to ever amount to anything. And only you can decide which you want to be.