Tired of hearing about the kids.

[TECHTORNHOPEFULLY]

I don't know why this bothers me. Probably because I spend five days a week working my butt off in an pediatric emergency room and I am tired! Here is what bothers me.

We started out with full time nurses who worked really hard. Then they all decided at the age of 40 that they wanted to return to school to be FNP's. Fine. Your entitled to enrich your life. Most of them went part time and some PRN. For those who decided to not return to school decided to get pregnant. Every year. Again. Fine. I don't have to take care of them, so have as many kids as you would like. Here in lies the problem. I have kids of my own. I see 200 crying children a day. The ONE day a month you decide to come to work, all you want to do is talk about your kids, show pictures and videos. Try working or picking up patients. I am overloaded with kids and do not want to see your videos. People need to realize, just because YOU enjoy your kids and their every milestone, does not mean your co-workers want to as well. How do you tell your once a month, or 8 hour a week co-worker that you dont want to hear anything about their kids? An occasional picture is OK. But these people are overloading us with pictures and videos. It's so annoying. Can we have some adult conversation?

[sistrmoon, BSN, RN]

Also, I'm a mom and I work EVERY weekend and I'm working my scheduled Christmas shifts. The 2 employees getting favoritism from management and not having to work any winter holidays this year have no kids. So that's not an automatically valid assumption. I will switch a shift or payback a favor if I'm able. Is it more complicated to switch a shift now than when I was single? Oh yes. Childcare is an intricate factor.

I've found that many nurses are just as bad about standing around chatting about vacations and upcoming weddings as some mommies are about wasting time with kid pictures.

I guess I probably also have a different perspective because I didn't want kids for many years and they will never be my sole focus or identity. I also went through recurrent miscarriages for years and know what it is to choke back tears at a pregnant coworker complaining or baby pictures being flashed in your face.

[exit96]

I am thinking that, what I experience is and endless barrage of "kids, shopping, weddings etc." To the point that I am sometimes ticked that I have to interrupt one of these ever so important conversations to get an EKG done, or something similar :-(...

Just the other day I had a patient that needed to be admitted, the process was all set and I was just waiting for a room assignment. Finally, after a long while, I had to ask " good grief, don't we have a room yet?"....the reply was, yes we do, sorry. Stay focused, throw me a bone would ya!! Some people just aren't happy unless their "cake hole" is going constantly, and over trivial items, or at least not applicable to why we are there. I have to walk away sometimes, it turns into an endless drone of "blah, duh, me, me, me, my, waaaa, waaaaa, waaaaaaa......."

[weirdscience]

I had a job once where I worked every holiday because'I don't have kids.' I worked there only one year. I couldn't take the women that had kids coming to me and saying 'How was your holiday?'[/quote']

OMG, this is so me this year! Worked Thanksgiving, working Xmas Eve and Xmas day. "How was your holiday?" Um... I was HERE. Which I'm not crying about, the extra money is nice, but I do have a family, too.

[0.adamantite]

I have a family but NO KIDS. Women without kids are discriminated against in the workplace. We work all kinds of hours "because we don't have kids." We work many of the holidays because "we don't have kids." For example, a co-worker was complaining about working 6 days in a row when I do that every paycheck. She turned and snipped at me "Well you don't have kids." Sorry, I didn't force you to have them. If there are such a huge burden, maybe you should consider cutting back your hours. Actually, I don't even know this co-worker and have hardly spoken to her in the first place, so how she even knew this information is beyond me.

Pregnant nurses are constantly complaining about having to take assignments with patients in isolation (they are never given shingles or chicken pox patients). One day we were having a chaotic shift and the charge nurse was asking around if everyone had taken a break yet. She asked if I did and a co-worker quickly butted in and said "It doesn't matter, she's not pregnant or nursing, she'll be fine."

This would be very hurtful to me if I had fertility problems or difficulty conceiving, or recently had a miscarriage. I do have hormonal problems and it is very likely that I will experience these issues as my mother did when she was trying to conceive. Thankfully, it won't matter for me, as I have opted for a child-free life. If anyone starts to jabber on at me about little Jimmy or Billy or Suzy etc I listen politely and then start in on stories of my cats. That usually shuts people down quickly.

[liketheairport]

I had this problem at one of my jobs a lot more than others. The woman with the kids got time off and could leave early to make sure she could get her kids to school in the morning (we worked 4-11 am) or because they had a doctor's appointment. I don't begrudge her her children, she's a good person.

And then, of course, there are those fun people who think themselves saints because they have children. Also, because they had them at 22 or so. Or think that somehow, since they're already a mother, they're better mothers than I "could ever be". Um, no. There's several reasons I don't have children.

[llg, PhD, RN]

Fortunately for me, I have some very attractive and talented nieces and nephews. When people get "over the top" with their bragging about their kids, I can usually come up with something more impressive from one of my nieces or nephews. I know my tactic is not very nice, but it usually works -- especially if I embellish a little bit.

[exit96]

Nice thread! How about; no one complains when "Mama So and So" has to leave to pump at random times, like 1 hour after arriving, or when the crapola is hitting the fan...but just let someone try to take their "personal break" and that person becomes one of those "nasty smoker types!?"

I kinda think also, that maybe these dear folks that this thread speaks of, are just bored. I mean really, certain individuals will come in day after day and ramble about their kids. Like, "princess whomever had to walk to the store, and it was 3 blocks away. She saw a pigeon on the way that couldn't fly, but then started to fly and was alright.." Or something to this effect. HOW IN THE WORLD are some of the things they talk about considered exciting?" I don't even remember stuff like that, let alone talk about it... Doesn't make me right, just saying....

I really think a lot of times that their lives are so boring, or maybe everything has just "fell into place, or fell in their lap," that some trivial stuff is their excitement?....

[BSNbeauty, BSN, RN]

I disagree. I care deeply about my coworkers and their families, and I love to hear about their milestones and share the journey! I am very pleased to work with people who genuinely treasure one another.

Oh please! I get tired of hearing about every milestone and "cute" moment. I really don't care. Ofcourse I just smile and make a cute comment.

[Hygiene Queen]

Oh, I guess I can tolerate people talking about their kids... no harm in it.

I like hearing about people.

I just cringe when they act like they are the most AMAZING!!!! mom in the world... pulleeeeeeease!

Personally, what I think is worse is people who can only talk about recipes!

Please. Shoot me.

How the heck anyone can have a 30 minute to 1 hour discussion about the intricacies of the tuna noodle casserole they made last night is beyond me...

Seriously, you took pictures of it on your phone???

[ellaballet]

I like hearing about my coworkers lives and seeing pictures to an extent, but I agree when you're swamped and already being pulled in a million directions the last thing you want to do is pretend to listen to a long winded story about their daughters potty training.

It drives me absolutely crazy this time of year though. I'm 23, single, and with no children. Because of this last year I was scheduled Thanksgiving (+ the day before and after), Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day. When I complained my boss was like "Well, you don't have children to be home with. New Years was supposed to be my holiday off, but I was still scheduled to work 3-11 PM NYE. Like come on! If we're accommodating employees lifestyles give the young girls the night off lol. I don't mind working the holidays, I'm lucky that my family has been so willing to work around my job. It just annoys me that people feel like because I don't have kids I don't have a reason to be with my loved ones on the holidays.

[OCNRN63, RN]

I like hearing about my coworkers lives and seeing pictures to an extent, but I agree when you're swamped and already being pulled in a million directions the last thing you want to do is pretend to listen to a long winded story about their daughters potty training.

It drives me absolutely crazy this time of year though. I'm 23, single, and with no children. Because of this last year I was scheduled Thanksgiving (+ the day before and after), Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day. When I complained my boss was like "Well, you don't have children to be home with. New Years was supposed to be my holiday off, but I was still scheduled to work 3-11 PM NYE. Like come on! If we're accommodating employees lifestyles give the young girls the night off lol. I don't mind working the holidays, I'm lucky that my family has been so willing to work around my job. It just annoys me that people feel like because I don't have kids I don't have a reason to be with my loved ones on the holidays.

That's wrong. You deserve your fair share of holidays off, and that includes the major ones as well. Just because someone reproduced doesn't make her worthy of special treatment. All of us have lives. Most of us have family and friends we want to spend time with.

Next year, you must absolutely put your foot down and demand to have your fair allotment of holidays off. Pull out your facility's P&P regarding holiday time. If your NM isn't following the policy, let her know you're willing to go to HR about it.

You need to nip this in the bud...now. You are young, and if you let these staff members walk over you, they will.

[hope3456, ASN, RN]

Not to change the subject but I find the question "what does your husband do?" even more annoying than the talk of kids. I have worked with many nurses who find "what their husband does" to be a status issue, and it is the main topic of their conversation.