I'm posting a follow-up post to the last one. So my supervisor gave me a verbal warning in the form of a letter that detailed my various workplace sins. These included asking for too many days off, leaving early, arriving late, forgetting to pick up a blood sample, not using an interpreter, and being disrespectful.
Asking for too many days off: For December I took a nice 2 weeks of taking advantage of the holidays and just asked for some days in between. I was going through some medical stuff which caused me to at times ask for a day off at the last minute (2 days before the appointment for instance.)
Leaving early: This didn't happen as often, perhaps 3 times at most and always by checking with my supervisor. Granted this happened without advance notice and when I did leave it was due to medical appointments.
Arriving late: My start time was 6:30 am (a start time she said she never approved but nevertheless used it as a point of reference to count how many hours I arrived late on 3 occasions.) Once I arrived at 9:30 because I overslept having been up all night coughing a lung out. I was going to call out but decided against it. The other time my car refused to start and I ended up taking another car. I arrived at 8:45. The third time I had gone to a doctor's appointment and got there at 9:30. There was hardly anyone at the office because that particular day we had a department wide meeting. The fourth time I had another appointment and I got there around 8:20. All these times she knew about. All with 3 to 4 days notice beforehand. In her warning letter she stated that my team had suffered because of my tardy arrivals. I tried to confirm this with my co-workers and they were like "no, we were fine."
Anyway she agreed that we would meet again in 3 weeks to see if any improvement that been made. Well the date came around and that morning I asked her "so what time are we meeting today?" and she replied "Well it turns out that the HR director can't come today so we will reschedule it." She didn't give me a date and I left it at that. Mind you she's involved 3 other supervisors besides her.
At any rate we met a couple of weeks ago for the second time at which point she pointed out 2 times in which I arrived late. One happened because I missed the commuter bus and it only leaves every 45 minutes so of course I arrived 40 minutes late when I was supposed to arrive 40 minutes early. That same day that I arrived late I told her that the commuter bus left at 3:30 but that I was going to stay until the next one left, around 4:15. So she was like fine, but I could tell she wasn't too happy about it. She and I were working off site at that time and she's used to staying behind and having someone else bring back the blood samples to our main job site for processing. Since she had told me at the last minute that I was to work with her that day, I didn't make arrangements for someone to pick up my kids so that's why I ended up taking the commuter bus. At any rate she gave me a choice on two tasks and asked which one I wanted to work on. I picked one and she said that she'd do the other one and left to go work on it. Well I finished my task and asked her if she wanted me to do anything else, then she asked me to do the task that she was supposed to do. So I ended up doing both. She said that it was fine I could go so I did.
Anyway to make a long story short she wrote me up for the above mentioned things that also included not using an interpreter. She had earlier that day advised me to not walk into a non-English speaking patient's room b/c there was no interpreter. Of course I forgot and walked into his room, quickly realized that I shouldn't have done that and excused myself and left. Well she included this in her write up.
I feel like she wants me to be absolutely perfect and that there is no grace/understanding. So I decided that the next step would probably be me being fired so I asked HR what was the minimum leave of notice so as not to be blacklisted from the institution. They said 2 weeks, so I gave my 2 weeks notice. This job provides great benefits and I'm going to miss that. Thinking back I don't know if it would have been better to ask for a transfer and now perhaps it's too late. I have 2 weeks left on that job. A job that I enjoyed very much. My sister pointed out that I worked very hard to go through nursing school full-time while having kids and how I basically let it go for a difficult person.
No one seems to understand where I'm coming from except for my husband. He's heard me complain about this lady for months. He knows that I tried to get along with her. It seems that the perfect person for that position is someone who is used to putting their family in second place. Someone who is dedicated so much that they would spend 12 hours in one day if needed.
I used to work on the floor so I came from having 4 days off to working 5 days in a row. It was a huge adjustment. I supposedly took the job to have more time for my family but it turned out to not be the case. Where before I was spending 4 days with me kids now it was less. I earned more yes but the work was intense. I enjoyed it though. But having that supervisor was like tasting vinegar.. it didn't help to know that I didn't even have to be there. Hubby sometimes earns in one day what I earn in a month so I wasn't doing it for the money..
Now that this has happened I'm taking a step back and thinking about my choices. I've been thinking about preparing for the GRE and possibly starting school later this year. Or maybe working in another specialty, perhaps ICU.. I'm basically here to vent and to get feedback/advice. I have loans to pay off and not working right now would put them on hold but still their balances loom over me. I've paid a good bit off but I took out several.
Please don't tell me in your replies that you did your nursing degree with little to no debt, because saying that would help me how...??
Thanks for the few helpful replies, others were entertaining :)
So the times that I was late was due to being sick, car not working, and surprise coming from doctors' appointments that she had given me permission to attend. So how does she give permission to arrive late then turn around and write me up for being late. hmm..
I had and still have health problems (at one point I had emergent surgery and once I almost passed out) but the focus is on attendance, nevermind that I'm going through a health crisis. I didn't qualify for FMLA so that was out of the question.
I will exit from this post now and will take away the kindness and understanding of nutella's post to name a few. You are right nutella I was pretty green coming into this discipline and am proud of myself for coming this far. I taught myself a great deal of things along the way since there was no formal training/orientation. It has all been a learning experience.
And honestly I expected a better reply and attitude from fellow nurses, calling my husband pretty boy? Hilarious! So typical! Nice one! Mentioning HIS comment about jealousy?? Wow, what a mistake!
Good night and thanks for the well wishes :)
Yes, the focus is on attendance. No employer is required to work around YOU and your health problems.
You did not hear what you wanted from your employer, or AN. Your response is to stomp your feet and leave?
I hear you, I deal with last minute schedule changes all the time, but you need to have back up for picking up your kids or whatever...your job is to get up and show up on time to work, people who bend it are irritating.
Who really knows what the manager feels/thinks about OP's husband?
I agree coworkers could well be just trying to avoid conflict.
Even though I agree with OP's need to be at work on time and have about a 99% attendance rate, not being able to care for her medical situation is a very real problem for many people in the USA.
I read a book called something like "How We Do Harm", author is Otis Brawley, MD. One scenario he brings up (true) is a woman who put off care for breast Ca until the breast actually fell off. She then took it to the ER and asked to have it sewn back on.
The woman had a job. She got some sick time but it could be taken only in 8 hour chunks - no 2 or 3 or 4 hours at a time. Naturally, the few hours of sick time she had ran out pretty fast. A lot of jobs give only 1 day per month for sick time - so really only 2 weeks per year. And I guess her vacation or saved holiday time, if any, wasn't available or was also used up. And some places give only about 20 days per year of PTO to use however you wish, but even that is only about 26 days per year. For a Dx like Ca, it's really just not enough, even with weekends added.
The patient tried to cover up the necrotic smell as best she could, but the time came when she knew her attempts weren't successful. Not sure how she handled the pain. There is so much suffering in this world, in our land of milk and honey, and streets paved with gold. The pt might have been better off to quit the job if she couldn't get FMLA . Medicaid if eligible, SS Disability, long term Disability insurance if she had purchased it would have served her better than to try to be a good worker and let cancer eat her breast off.
Poverty.
Dear God, help us.
OP, don't let all the mud that's been slung on you get you down. You do need to start seeing work through your boss' eyes. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again. (Nat King Cole - song of that name Youtube). Best to you, hope work and health improve.
But did this poor woman have such a response as: "She needs to grow some thick skin!! My husband is like maybe she's jealous of you and how much you earn or because she's single and miserable. I don't know about her personal life but she is single. We are about the same age and I have a wonderful, handsome, smart, kind, and talented husband that spoils me and makes me breakfast and lunch every now and then. My other 2 coworkers know about him and tease me about how spoiled I am.. :P" ?
I'm pretty sure OP isn't going to let an appendage fall off before she takes time out for herself. I dare say she wouldn't allow a stray hair before taking time off.
Hey folks, I think we WERE being trolled. I also think any advice was most definitely falling on deaf ears.
Without knowing OP, if she were a coworker of mine (or if I were her manager) and I saw all these red flags/warning signs, I'd be suggesting that she seek professional help. I have some concerns re my observations -
1 - comes in late freq
2 - leaves early freq
3 - takes time off at the Holidays, the most celebratory time of the year (and then makes light of it)
4 - freq absences
5 - doesn't seem to complete a full week of work
6 - really diversified excuses (that would take some real investigation to prove/disprove)
7 - ' somebody else's fault'
8 - multiple workplace errors
9 - freq change of jobs
10 - seems to 'plot out' absences to have some ready excuse (see #5) to not be on the job
11 - long running difficulty with authority & following directions (review her previous 2/5 thread)
12 - has office job with a cubicle? Can come & go (and disappear?) without too much notice?
There's a French idiomatic expression >>> qui s'excuse, s'accuse. (Roughly translated - making excuses is self-accusatory.) And she's posting here, just adding more confirming fuel to the fire. Giving her the best benefit of MY doubt, maybe she is a self-entitled, 'oh so priveledged'-thinking immature person. But then maybe her problem is much deeper.
There's been a couple of recent posts concerning working with peers 'having problems'. Got me to thinking ... so maybe I'm just over-analyzing, but I'm thinking - could she be having problems with substance dependency issues (?????). Just an awful lot of red flags that makes my radar system alarm. I've worked with staff having this problem who exhibited many of these warning signs. And may were unaware of the issue or were denying it. Perhaps her managers were thinking the same as I.
OP - I hope I'm wrong and if so, I apologize. But if not, you need help. But you have to take the initiative before others do it to you and for you.
Just to tell you - when HR becomes deeply involved in a situation like yours, the writing is on the wall. Your days are numbered there. And it looks like they're laying concrete groundwork to deny you unemployment for a discharge with cause.
Specializes in Complex pedi to LTC/SA & now a manager.
Hey folks, I think we WERE being trolled. I also think any advice was most definitely falling on deaf ears.
Without knowing OP, if she were a coworker of mine (or if I were her manager) and I saw all these red flags/warning signs, I'd be suggesting that she seek professional help. I have some concerns re my observations -
1 - comes in late freq
2 - leaves early freq
3 - takes time off at the Holidays, the most celebratory time of the year (and then makes light of it)
4 - freq absences
5 - doesn't seem to complete a full week of work
6 - really diversified excuses (that would take some real investigation to prove/disprove)
7 - ' somebody else's fault'
8 - multiple workplace errors
9 - freq change of jobs
10 - seems to 'plot out' absences to have some ready excuse (see #5) to not be on the job
11 - long running difficulty with authority & following directions (review her previous 2/5 thread)
12 - has office job with a cubicle? Can come & go (and disappear?) without too much notice?
There's a French idiomatic expression >>> qui s'excuse, s'accuse. (Roughly translated - making excuses is self-accusatory.) And she's posting here, just adding more confirming fuel to the fire. Giving her the best benefit of MY doubt, maybe she is a self-entitled, 'oh so priveledged'-thinking immature person. But then maybe her problem is much deeper.
There's been a couple of recent posts concerning working with peers 'having problems'. Got me to thinking ... so maybe I'm just over-analyzing, but I'm thinking - could she be having problems with substance dependency issues (?????). Just an awful lot of red flags that makes my radar system alarm. I've worked with staff having this problem who exhibited many of these warning signs. And may were unaware of the issue or were denying it. Perhaps her managers were thinking the same as I.
OP - I hope I'm wrong and if so, I apologize. But if not, you need help. But you have to take the initiative before others do it to you and for you.
Just to tell you - when HR becomes deeply involved in a situation like yours, the writing is on the wall. Your days are numbered there. And it looks like they're laying concrete groundwork to deny you unemployment for a discharge with cause.
OP has three threads in the same vein. Either it's truth or she truly believes her own story
Considering I had clinical at 0600, came straight to work after, and don't get off until midnight, yup, I'd be pretty angry if my relief didn't show up until 0300.
I'm sorry, but just from reading this post it sounds as if your boss and coworkers have been more than tolerant. I have a husband and kids too, but I manage to make it both to school and work. Life happens, yes, that's why we need back up plans.
Specializes in Pain, critical care, administration, med.
I am sorry but you have a job and expectations of that job. Bosses don't care about your personal issues they are managing staff. If everyone was late for various reasons no one would show up. If you have personal issues take time off to work it out. These behaviors won't be tolerated anywhere so you have to get it together!!
In truth if they were so highly paid why are the married nurses working? They could just be doing volunteer work for a cause they believe in or traveling or planting flowers or raising their kids and spending time with their family.
My husband makes more money than I'd ever dreamed he would. When I met him, he had nothing but intelligence and a very strong work ethic.
I still work as a nurse. Not full time, and it's less as time goes by, but I do so because I find nursing to be fulfilling, I like being able to contribute at least a little money to the family, and I would regret letting my license (that I worked so hard for) lapse. I like knowing that I'm doing some good for someone that day, making a difficult situation a little less difficult, etc.
I don't have to work, but the fact of the matter is that I do, and I am NEVER late, do not ask to leave early, don't ever call in sick, and try to be a good co-worker and team player on the days that I am there (I work PRN). My family of course comes first, but I don't make commitments I cannot keep. I cannot IMAGINE coming in 3 hours late and thinking that oversleeping because "I coughed up a lung all night" was even remotely a legitimate excuse!
The fact that her husband makes " a lot of money" (whatever that means) has little to do with this woman's situation. She is simply irresponsible, lacks commitment to her job and others, takes no responsibility whatsoever even when she is completely in the wrong, and just doesn't care.
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
Let's recap: Your life is teeming with medical problems, legal problems, unreliable transportation and childcare hassles. Your work is error-prone. But your supervisor is jealous? If I was living in the Dilapidated Home for Unwanted Old Maids I could still find someone better to be a target for my jealousy.
Mentioning HIS comment about jealousy?? Wow, what a mistake! 
KRVRN, BSN, RN
1,334 Posts
It comes across as though she is doing her workplace a favor by coming to work, and they are being ungrateful.