Those parents who believe everything their kids say

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I get wanting to believe your kid, but I also know as a parent, that 99% of the time, you are NOT getting the full story.

I got an angry call from a mother of a first grader I saw yesterday, asking why I didn't call her yesterday to tell her that her snowflake had a fever. Apparently when she got picked up from her after school program at 6:00 pm (I saw her at 11:20 am) she had a fever of 103. I pull up my note from yesterday and say "because she did not have a fever yesterday. If she had a fever I would have sent her home". So mom says "She told me she came to see you yesterday and you told her she had a fever and sent her back to class". So I read her the end of my note out loud "Allowed student to sleep for 30 minutes and re-checked temp- 99.2. Student stated she feels better so sent her back to class". Mom was silent after that :yes:

Edited to add that I also made sure mom understands that a fever is anything over 100.4 at our school, in case she mistakenly thought the 99.2 was a fever.

Specializes in ICU/community health/school nursing.

So I would always start my open-house/back to school night saying, "If you don't believe everything your kid says about me, I won't believe everything they say about you."

BAM!!! Totally stealing that one.

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Specializes in Cardiology, School Nursing, General.

I had a mom call me lately angrily because apparently kid got into some kinda issue with some students during PE, and got a huge scratch on her face. I never saw this kid, she never came to my office and mother had the audacity to call me and yell at me for not calling her. I hung up on her and she called me back and I told her because she's yelling and not letting me explain, I will not answer her call. She finally gave me a chance to talk and I explained, the child never came to my office, there's no notes on her, she never came for a scratch, I would remember if she came, I not sure what happened, but if she wants answers, I would suggest our AP and her teacher, because as I said, she never was brought to my office for anything. Mom apologized, and asked to be transferred to the front and I said that's fine, but next time please get the full story because assuming something and transferred her away.

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It's a little disturbing that you call a child a "snowflake". First graders? Seriously? Maybe a review of growth and development would do you some good.

"Snowflake" refers to the way the mother treats the child. MY child is SO perfect, SO delicate, SO unique that you cannot possibly understand MY child's special nature. He/She/They doesn't begin to compare to any other children you have cared for or anything you learned in Growth and Development.

I wish we could send parent to Drowth and Development to understand that if kids were all-knowing, all-accurately remembering, and all-understanding of nuance, then they wouldn't even need an education.

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Specializes in Cardiology, School Nursing, General.

I have a good story and I'm honestly thinking of asking you guys if I should just block these women now.

So years ago we had these two janitors, M and C. M and C were my friends and were always 100% had my back with anything. They had their own children in our school and I always treated these kids well.

This year they left and we had new ones replace M and C. So my only job is to watch my clinic and do screenings, I'm not in charge of anything else. C and M only call me when it pertains their children, if they are sick or anything in between.

Lately C called me about the lice issue that I posted about, and causes a bullying issue and I had to yell at a bunch of 4th graders, which made them cry. She got mad at me for yelling and I explained, then tell your daughter not to spread rumors because at this point, the only kid that knew of the situation was her and her daughter, how weird that the whole class knew why I called the student in. Mom was upset and made an appointment with our principal and I explained, he let it slide and said I did what I was suppose to do.

Then again C came for a meeting, and I had to translate. That she's upset how the school is being ran now, that her children are complaining and other parents are complaining of the teachers and how things are going. Our AP got on her and said unless people come to her reporting her to about things, then she won't know about it and can't fix it. That right now, we are talking about her kids, not others.

She complained that her daughter was being bullied in class by her teacher (not true, her kid is acting up), that she can't speak Spanish in class (because the teacher doesn't understand Spanish) and that there was an mentally ill student that tried to kill himself in front of other students, including her other daughter (We took care of it and we are keeping an eye on this student). She said she wasn't convinced and she's taking her kids out, because no one believes them. We're like okay.

I'm honestly thinking of blocking them out of my phone because most of the time they are complaining that kids are getting sick and they don't want their kids to get sick, and I need to do something and it's like, I have 531 kids to take care of, I don't have time to do something about yours.

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Specializes in school nursing, ortho, trauma.
I was going to put on my sarcasm hat to answer this, but decided...what the heck, it's the holidays. We are all WELL aware of the fact that an allergic person doesn't have to eat their allergen. It's not our first days (oops...a little bit snuck out there). The problem I have with allergy tables is that it gives kids somewhat of a false sense of security. Yes, I'll protect them as much as I can when they're here. But they need to learn to manage their allergy and protect and advocate for themselves. The world is not allergen free.

Yes indeed! We had one incident where a little one wasn't paying attention to what he was taking for lunch, took a pb&j and sat down at that table. All he did was open the sandwich, someone noticed, he was moved and the table was cleaned, but the fact remains that there was pb brought to the table.

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Specializes in Cardiology, School Nursing, General.
Yes indeed! We had one incident where a little one wasn't paying attention to what he was taking for lunch, took a pb&j and sat down at that table. All he did was open the sandwich, someone noticed, he was moved and the table was cleaned, but the fact remains that there was pb brought to the table.

I agree with Saltine. We need to teach the kids to care for themselves because as they said, in the real world there's no allergen free anything. In my school we are not peanut free, but we don't serve any peanut foods. Our students are able to fend for themselves and they know what not to eat or touch. We do have Epis if something happens, but they know and are smart about it.

Plus we ask parents to do peanut free if there's a peanut allergy in a class, so if they bring snacks, they can make sure to not bring anything with peanuts in it.

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Specializes in kids.
the gospel according to snowflake! i just can't.

tee shirt material, for real

#thegospelaccordingtosnowflake!

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Specializes in Lie detection.

My own son is an allergy kid, severely allergic to tree nuts. A few months ago his Dad "forgot" and hugged him hours after he ate mixed nuts. The minute transfer of oils/dust in my ex's beard touched my son's face. He broke out in huge welts on his face, itchy and awful Luckily no progression into respiratory.

But I digress. I taught my son at age 5 how to use the epi pen. He's a master now at age 10. He knows to stay away from any tree nuts and has been great. Last school year I taught a 4th and 2nd grader how to do their own epi pens. Of course they shouldn't be alone but I want them to be self sufficient because most adults don't know how to properly use the epi pen. They also don't know my mantra, "the epip pen will not save a life. It buys the ANA kid time for the ambulance to arrive". My kid and kids at school all know this. They can repeat it on demand, lol.

So being educated and self sufficient are huge in my toolbox. Just my 25 cents!

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A child with peanut and nut allergies does not have to eat either to have a reaction---they only need to be nearby. My daughter is highly allergic to walnuts. Her dad loved to buy the ones in shells and crack/eat them, daily. One day, she walked into and through the room where he was doing so, and by the time she got into the kitchen she was in distress. My grandson has a friend who, even sitting next to someone eating a pb&j sandwich at school would go into a severe allergic reaction, needing an epipen. So, those "peanut tables' as you call them are not farfetched.

I once had a student allergic to fish, she could not go anywhere near the cafeteria when they served it. We had an alternative plan for her on those days. One day there was a sub eating a tuna sandwhich in the class, almost immediatley after walking in the room - her lips blew up like a balloon.

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I agree with Saltine. We need to teach the kids to care for themselves because as they said, in the real world there's no allergen free anything. In my school we are not peanut free, but we don't serve any peanut foods. Our students are able to fend for themselves and they know what not to eat or touch. We do have Epis if something happens, but they know and are smart about it.

Plus we ask parents to do peanut free if there's a peanut allergy in a class, so if they bring snacks, they can make sure to not bring anything with peanuts in it.

Peanut butter and jelly is banned in the schools entirely for all kids here! I just think we are starting generations that aren't going to be self reliant.

I love the "snowflake" analogy. It can never be snowflake's fault/responsibility, or snowflakes impeccable parenting!

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Specializes in Cardiology, School Nursing, General.
Peanut butter and jelly is banned in the schools entirely for all kids here! I just think we are starting generations that aren't going to be self reliant.

I love the "snowflake" analogy. It can never be snowflake's fault/responsibility, or snowflakes impeccable parenting!

That's what I try to teach my students here to be self reliant. If they can care for it themselves, then they'll be fine. Of course, my littlies it's harder, but the older ones I know they can be responsible for themselves. That's why I'm a bit harder on them.

Food Allergies are no laughing matter, I know. That's why we rely on the parents to teach their children to know their bodies and how to care for it, but sadly that's not always the case, so as well I teach them that because I don't want them to be dependent of their parents for that when they are older.

My TD1 kid was super reliant last year and unable to understand that if he doesn't care for his body and food intake, he will be high. He learned this by the end of last year and is now doing quite well. We communicate on food intake and how to care for himself if he feels low or high. I'm super proud of him!

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I got a hateful e-mail several years ago from a parent (who also happened to be a teacher in the same district) about her 7th grade son having a "severe" allergic reaction to juice and I did not do anything for him. Now, this was one of those rareslow enough days where I had time to document every pad and safety pin. No record of him, etc. E-mailed mom back and told her I never saw him. I get a response " I talked to him and he said he did not come to see you. How could his teacher not have noticed? She should have made him come see you" No I am sorry or anything, let's find the next person to blame. Now, did mom take the kid to the doctor, ER, etc for this "severe" allergy?? Nope.

Next day, here comes kid first thing 45 minutes before school starts with obvious chapped and licked lips. Did mom provide any treatment??? Of course not. So, I call her and I tell her my professional opinion which she poopoos and sticks withher allergy story. So, I write a medical referral, give her an allergy action plan and have her pick her kid up. Did not hear anything for 2 days so i called kid down to follow up. Guess what the doc diagnosed him with??? CHAPPED LIPS!!!!

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