This is not why I became a nurse

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My first save of the day. A stuck jacket. Student zipped up his jacket and the little flaps of material into the zipper.

Took about 7 minutes, but brute force and safety pins saved the day.

You know what... it's a half day, and the day before spring break. I'm not even mad. :)

Specializes in school nurse.

Had my first "silly putty stuck in the hair" situation- also not covered in nursing school. Many thanks to the great god Google, though. A generous amount of cooking oil from my kitchen staff worked wonders.

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I will never forget my second year as I school nurse. The paramedics had just left my school with a 7th grade drug overdose victim - no more than 10 minutes later, I was using ice to get gum out of hair.

Oh, the memories!!!!!!

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Specializes in Telemetry, Gastroenterology, School Nrs.
zipper un jamming is taught the lesson after glasses repair!

And Flip-flop repair!

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Specializes in Telemetry, Gastroenterology, School Nrs.
I am thinking next year at the staff meeting on the first day I am going to give a little speech. (I actually reheorificed it in the shower last night)

These are things out of my control:

Loose teeth

Orthodontics

Glasses

Splinters (we cannot dig)

Pimples (ones that are actually pimples they want me to pop)

MUDDY FREAKING CLOTHES (see the family resource officer)

Also, I am not perfect, I get it wrong sometimes, the kid you sent me yesterday that had no fever, may have one tomorrow and it may be strep...Whoops.

If a kid vomits once, and sits in my office for 10 minutes without puking again, they will get sent back to your class. If they happen to vomit again...Sorry. My bad, now they can go home.

Lice will not kill you. Again, lice WILL NOT kill you. If you are really that concerned stop having them put their backpacks in one communal pile.

I give you band-aids, use them. Do not send me a paper cut.

If your kiddo has a nosebleed, IT IS NOT AN EMERGENCY. All bleeding stops eventually. Please have them grab tissues before leaving your class. A blood trail down the hall is an infection control issue.

If you let them play outside in 90 degree/34 degree weather, they will get hot/cold. Not my issue.

You knew when you took this job that you would be around sick kids, you chose to reproduce. Do not send me every single sniffle because "I'm pregnant!" That didn't stop you from sending them all to me when I was pregnant, no sympathy from me.

I'm sure I am forgetting something, but I have all summer to perfect it.

BEST. SPEECH. EVER.

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Being a school nurse has it perks! You get good stories. I had a first grader tell me we don't have school tomorrow because it's Good Friday and Good Friday was when Jesus was put on the cross and got beat up. I did my hardest to not react.

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Specializes in Med-surg, school nursing..

I'll end my speech with this quote I saw on Pinterest:

Students must be healthy to be educated, and educated to be healthy.

Then maybe a mic drop.

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Never underestimate the seriousness of a zipper malfunction. It can be a real occupational hazard, especially for the younger students.

I should know, I speak from personal experience... Learning to "tuck in" was a painful process.

Dany

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Don't forget to add:

1. And please send students with a "insert several expletives here" pass! Would you like to have to go to a new class every "insert another expletive" day and have to teach without even a roster?

2. Nausea and vomiting are not medical emergencies unless they are choking on it or broke their leg when they slipped and fell on it. Otherwise, let them finish in your trash can (or bathroom if you are walking by it) and have them walk to the clinic. No need to call me to the room to watch them as I have no magic "stop the vomiting" wand or pills.

3. And please don't come report to me that you think a student may have a disease, parasite, injury, etc that I need to assess unless you know their full name!!! In fact, if they are not your student - just stay out of it completely!!! "I think this kid named John or Jack, maybe Jude, possibly Randy in the 7th or 8th grade has lice. " Let's see - out of 1350 kids on my campus, that REALLY narrows it down!!

I could go on for days!!

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Being a school nurse has it perks! You get good stories. I had a first grader tell me we don't have school tomorrow because it's Good Friday and Good Friday was when Jesus was put on the cross and got beat up. I did my hardest to not react.

Well, the kid has a point.

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Sully rules.

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Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
I feel like such a failure already today! Broken glasses this morning, kid and 2 teachers standing around my desk when I looked at them to see if there was anything I could do. Frames twisted and broken, one teacher (young and clueless) is shocked that I couldn't perform that miracle repair, the other one(older and wisher of the two teachers, also married to a nurse so he gets it) was like "dude I told you she would tell you to take them home to show your parents"

Dang...don't you wish you had fake paddles you could whip out and yell, "CLEAR!!!" BAM...glasses are flattened, but you gave them one heck of a show.

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Dang...don't you wish you had fake paddles you could whip out and yell, "CLEAR!!!" BAM...glasses are flattened, but you gave them one heck of a show.

Just spewed Pepsi all over my screen!!! Just think what that could do for flip flops!

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