This is not why I became a nurse

Published

My first save of the day. A stuck jacket. Student zipped up his jacket and the little flaps of material into the zipper.

Took about 7 minutes, but brute force and safety pins saved the day.

You know what... it's a half day, and the day before spring break. I'm not even mad. :)

I started my day jumping off a parents car and then came in to the office staff frantic b/c I had 6 kids waiting on me.

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Specializes in School Nurse, professor, OBGYN.
And for the LOVE. OF. PETE.

If you are going to let your students play out in the mud after a monsoon, YOU can clean it up. It does not take a nursing license.

*Had to get that off muh chesht*

truth!

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Specializes in School Nurse, professor, OBGYN.

I love saying NO!!

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Specializes in School Nursing.

I love saying NO too ! LOL ! And the expression on the teacher's faces when I do say no.....OMG !!

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Specializes in Med-surg, school nursing..
I feel like such a failure already today! Broken glasses this morning, kid and 2 teachers standing around my desk when I looked at them to see if there was anything I could do. Frames twisted and broken, one teacher (young and clueless) is shocked that I couldn't perform that miracle repair, the other one(older and wisher of the two teachers, also married to a nurse so he gets it) was like "dude I told you she would tell you to take them home to show your parents"

I am thinking next year at the staff meeting on the first day I am going to give a little speech. (I actually reheorificed it in the shower last night)

These are things out of my control:

Loose teeth

Orthodontics

Glasses

Splinters (we cannot dig)

Pimples (ones that are actually pimples they want me to pop)

MUDDY FREAKING CLOTHES (see the family resource officer)

Also, I am not perfect, I get it wrong sometimes, the kid you sent me yesterday that had no fever, may have one tomorrow and it may be strep...Whoops.

If a kid vomits once, and sits in my office for 10 minutes without puking again, they will get sent back to your class. If they happen to vomit again...Sorry. My bad, now they can go home.

Lice will not kill you. Again, lice WILL NOT kill you. If you are really that concerned stop having them put their backpacks in one communal pile.

I give you band-aids, use them. Do not send me a paper cut.

If your kiddo has a nosebleed, IT IS NOT AN EMERGENCY. All bleeding stops eventually. Please have them grab tissues before leaving your class. A blood trail down the hall is an infection control issue.

If you let them play outside in 90 degree/34 degree weather, they will get hot/cold. Not my issue.

You knew when you took this job that you would be around sick kids, you chose to reproduce. Do not send me every single sniffle because "I'm pregnant!" That didn't stop you from sending them all to me when I was pregnant, no sympathy from me.

I'm sure I am forgetting something, but I have all summer to perfect it.

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Specializes in School Nurse, professor, OBGYN.
I am thinking next year at the staff meeting on the first day I am going to give a little speech. (I actually reheorificed it in the shower last night)

These are things out of my control:

Loose teeth

Orthodontics

Glasses

Splinters (we cannot dig)

Pimples (ones that are actually pimples they want me to pop)

MUDDY FREAKING CLOTHES (see the family resource officer)

Also, I am not perfect, I get it wrong sometimes, the kid you sent me yesterday that had no fever, may have one tomorrow and it may be strep...Whoops.

If a kid vomits once, and sits in my office for 10 minutes without puking again, they will get sent back to your class. If they happen to vomit again...Sorry. My bad, now they can go home.

Lice will not kill you. Again, lice WILL NOT kill you. If you are really that concerned stop having them put their backpacks in one communal pile.

I give you band-aids, use them. Do not send me a paper cut.

If your kiddo has a nosebleed, IT IS NOT AN EMERGENCY. All bleeding stops eventually. Please have them grab tissues before leaving your class. A blood trail down the hall is an infection control issue.

If you let them play outside in 90 degree/34 degree weather, they will get hot/cold. Not my issue.

You knew when you took this job that you would be around sick kids, you chose to reproduce. Do not send me every single sniffle because "I'm pregnant!" That didn't stop you from sending them all to me when I was pregnant, no sympathy from me.

I'm sure I am forgetting something, but I have all summer to perfect it.

THIS IS AMAZING!!!!!! Love it!

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Specializes in School Nurse, professor, OBGYN.

When they are muddy, I call the parents.

I am not going to ruin my bathroom, I am not going to give this kid a shower.

You the teacher, should have watched the kids outside or had indoor recess.

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Specializes in School Nursing.

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this response !! Your Rock Girl !!

I am thinking next year at the staff meeting on the first day I am going to give a little speech. (I actually reheorificed it in the shower last night)

These are things out of my control:

Loose teeth

Orthodontics

Glasses

Splinters (we cannot dig)

Pimples (ones that are actually pimples they want me to pop)

MUDDY FREAKING CLOTHES (see the family resource officer)

Also, I am not perfect, I get it wrong sometimes, the kid you sent me yesterday that had no fever, may have one tomorrow and it may be strep...Whoops.

If a kid vomits once, and sits in my office for 10 minutes without puking again, they will get sent back to your class. If they happen to vomit again...Sorry. My bad, now they can go home.

Lice will not kill you. Again, lice WILL NOT kill you. If you are really that concerned stop having them put their backpacks in one communal pile.

I give you band-aids, use them. Do not send me a paper cut.

If your kiddo has a nosebleed, IT IS NOT AN EMERGENCY. All bleeding stops eventually. Please have them grab tissues before leaving your class. A blood trail down the hall is an infection control issue.

If you let them play outside in 90 degree/34 degree weather, they will get hot/cold. Not my issue.

You knew when you took this job that you would be around sick kids, you chose to reproduce. Do not send me every single sniffle because "I'm pregnant!" That didn't stop you from sending them all to me when I was pregnant, no sympathy from me.

I'm sure I am forgetting something, but I have all summer to perfect it.

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Specializes in School Nurse.

How about the 'grown A#* woman' that comes to me EVERY month for supplies - seriously.

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Specializes in school nursing, ortho, trauma.

i thought about telling the powers that be that they should really consider pulling a coin op machine in the restrooms in the middle school and in the faculty areas. It would cut down on student/staff visits and generate some income too. But then again if people actually had to pay a quarter they'd actually remember and those machines would never need refilling. Some people have priorities.

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I am thinking next year at the staff meeting on the first day I am going to give a little speech. (I actually reheorificed it in the shower last night)

These are things out of my control:

Loose teeth

Orthodontics

Glasses

Splinters (we cannot dig)

Pimples (ones that are actually pimples they want me to pop)

MUDDY FREAKING CLOTHES (see the family resource officer)

Also, I am not perfect, I get it wrong sometimes, the kid you sent me yesterday that had no fever, may have one tomorrow and it may be strep...Whoops.

If a kid vomits once, and sits in my office for 10 minutes without puking again, they will get sent back to your class. If they happen to vomit again...Sorry. My bad, now they can go home.

Lice will not kill you. Again, lice WILL NOT kill you. If you are really that concerned stop having them put their backpacks in one communal pile.

I give you band-aids, use them. Do not send me a paper cut.

If your kiddo has a nosebleed, IT IS NOT AN EMERGENCY. All bleeding stops eventually. Please have them grab tissues before leaving your class. A blood trail down the hall is an infection control issue.

If you let them play outside in 90 degree/34 degree weather, they will get hot/cold. Not my issue.

You knew when you took this job that you would be around sick kids, you chose to reproduce. Do not send me every single sniffle because "I'm pregnant!" That didn't stop you from sending them all to me when I was pregnant, no sympathy from me.

I'm sure I am forgetting something, but I have all summer to perfect it.

May I print, copy, laminate and distribute to each teacher and post in all classrooms?

This is great!!

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Specializes in Med-surg, school nursing..
May I print, copy, laminate and distribute to each teacher and post in all classrooms?

This is great!!

:yes:

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