THIS is what bugs me

Add to that list

-ate lunch to fast

-didn't eat breakfast

-at crap for breakfast

-didn't do homework

-tired

-my friend's stomach hurts

-It's Monday

My answer to "is a stomach bug going around?" is: This is a school, something is always going around. But unless I truly see a notable uptick in gastric symptoms, no -no stomach bug going around.

Kids come in convinced they have diarrhea because they had a soft stool. I am always so tempted to bring up the bristol stool scale for them and tell them unless it's a 7, i'm not too concerned. I've seen these kid's dietary choices and am not surprised that their stomachs are in a constant state of flux.

-it's time for a math test

-mixed gross stuff together at lunch

-friend mixed gross stuff together at lunch

-took meds on an empty stomach

-someone is being mean to me

Well, and even if there IS a "bug" going around, what do they expect you to do about it?

send each and every kid that moans just a bit home until they have perfectly small classes of children that never complain about anything.

Just irritated that teachers parade into my office announcing there is a "stomach bug" going around - makes me cringe. I want to send an informative email telling them that vomiting could be from any number of things and not just a "stomach bug". I just Dr. Googled causes for vomiting - here is the list that may prove my point:

Nausea and vomiting may occur separately or together. Common causes include:

• Chemotherapy
  
• Gastroparesis (a condition in which the muscles of the stomach wall don't function properly, interfering with digestion)
  
• General anesthesia
  
• Intestinal obstruction
  
• Motion sickness: First aid
  
• Morning sickness
  
• Migraine
  
• Rotavirus
  
• Viral gastroenteritis (stomach flu)
  
• Vestibular neuritis
  

Other possible causes of nausea and vomiting include:

• Alcohol use disorder
  
• Anaphylaxis (in children)
  
• Anorexia nervosa
  
• Appendicitis
  
• Benign paroxysmal positional vertigo (BPPV)
  
• Brain Tumor (both cancerous and noncancerous)
  
• Bulimia nervosa
  
• Concussion
  
• Cholecystitis
  
• Cholecystitis (gallbladder inflammation)
  
• Cyclic vomiting syndrome
  
• Depression (major depressive disorder)
  
• Dizziness
  
• Diabetic ketoacidosis
  
• Ear infection (middle ear)
  
• Food poisoning
  
• Generalized anxiety disorder
  
• GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease)
  
• Hiatal hernia
  
• Heart failure
  
• Gallstones
  
• Fever (in children)
  
• Hydrocephalus (a congenital brain abnormality)
  
• Hyperparathyroidism (overactive parathyroid)
  
• Hyperthyroidism (overactive thyroid)
  
• Hypoparathyroidism (underactive parathyroid)
  
• Intestinal ischemia
  
• Enlarged spleen (splenomegaly)
  
• Intracranial hematoma
  
• Intussusception (in children)
  
• Duodenitis (inflammation of the initial portion of the small intestine)
  
• Liver cancer
  
• Liver failure
  
• Medications (including aspirin, nonsteroidal anti-inflammatories, oral contraceptives, digitalis, narcotics and antibiotics)
  
• Meniere's disease
  
• Meningitis
  
• Milk allergy (in infants and children)
  
• Pancreatic cancer
  
• Pancreatitis
  
• Peptic ulcer
  
• Pseudotumor cerebri
  
• Pyloric stenosis (in infants)
  
• Radiation therapy
  
• Severe pain
  
• Traumatic brain injury
  

#Coffeeonthekeyboard!!!!!!!!!!!!

At least they are not calling it the stomach flu!

And anxiety. Anxiety puking is a thing and one I see a lot more often than not.

My teachers know the word stomach bug is banned from usage around students. And I hate the "is something going around?"

Yes. It is. Something is always going around. It is a school. Kids and staff touch things and cough on things and don't clean things. No, I am not superwoman. Wash. Your. Hands.

And anxiety. Anxiety puking is a thing and one I see a lot more often than not.

.

This is how I made it through middle school.

I like to remind my teachers and students that those "stomach bugs" are generally spread by fecal oral contact and that it is exactly what it sounds like. Then I direct them to my sink so they can wash their hands.