Things Patients Have Taught Me NOT To Do

greenspreengs · May 17, 2005

a few more...
if you are a state trooper do not go into pulseless v tach while talking to your critical care nurse, she will find some slight satisfaction in giving you a precordial thump even though it never works. .......thank you mr state trooper that you don't remember it was me that thumped you.
unusual....all my precordial thumps worked, do you thump them hard enough? :wink2:

greenspreengs · May 17, 2005

Yuck, yuck, yuck! Eeeeewww! Drinking sperm out of an orifice. UGh! Just the thought of that makes me gag.
Fran:nurse:

Is that a new type of protein shake? :chuckle

greenspreengs · May 17, 2005

Do not tell your cardiac nurse that you are not having chest pain, then tell your son that you've been having chest pain all day, and noone has done anything about it. Your nurse does not appreciate this.

BUT THEY DO IT ALL THE TIME!!!! :banghead: :smackingf It gets so frustrating!

greenspreengs · May 17, 2005

this is a sad story, actually happened to a friend of mine. or, should i say "acquaintance"...
poor 16 year old has been having minor troubles with friends/drugs/laws for awhile....at one point he decided to pierce his tongue on his own. after the initial piercing of his tongue, instead of putting a real metal bar in the hole through his tongue, he used part of an extension cord. (!!!) then, i guess he burned both the top and bottom of it to make an edge to keep it in place. i think he waited a month or 2 and then got a real metal bar.
sadly, a few months later, he tried to commit suicide. he put a gun under his chin and shot. i don't know how common this is, but the bullet apparently hit the metal in his tongue and pushed it up into his brain. he was hospitalized for awhile, and actually turned out with more sense and intelligence than before! his mouth/eyes/nose are all functioniong properly and his speech and facial features were not even affected! pretty amazing huh. i guess the bullet and metal ring that are permanently lodged in his brain had altered his personality.
this definately makes this "never ______" list! never pierce your own tongue and then shoot yourself in the chin!!!!!!!!!

one could make the arguement to never shoot yourself in the chin unless you have your tongue pierced! it seems this kid was fantastically lucky!!

greenspreengs · May 17, 2005

-use a vibrator 30 times in one day...
hey, what's wrong with having a hobbie?
lordy lordy.
redshiloh,
you've got to be kidding! that's enough to kill a horse, and to make the user go into respiratory arrest! yowza!
fran:d

but if ya gotta go.... :rolleyes: :bowingpur

greenspreengs · May 17, 2005

all true stories from pts I've had:
...Do not attempt suicide, get Baker Acted, get treated and released only to try it again the next week by laying on the train tracks- you will really be depressed when you survive and now have two less legs....
Pardon my ignorance, but what is "Baker Acted"?

sjt9721, BSN, RN · May 17, 2005

Never...ever...stand naked on the edge of the tub to change a lightbulb in the ceiling. Heaven forbid you may slip, fall, and land square-on-top-of a shampoo bottle...(at least that was the story he told me!)

(Ask an ED nurse if you don't get it! :rolleyes: )

EDNewbie · May 18, 2005

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

I stayed up WAY too late last night reading this entire thread and I swear I was crying! These are great! Keep 'em coming!

FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I · May 18, 2005

Never pull your talleywhacker out to void before you get out of the tent, because you might fall on the way out and get it cut on the zipper teeth. Funny how the marks look just like human teeth marks ..........
uh-huh

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :confused:

What's a talleywhacker?????????

ERNurse752, RN · May 18, 2005

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: What's a talleywhacker?????????

Tallywhacker = member

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · May 18, 2005

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: What's a talleywhacker?????????

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! Fran, haven't you ever seen "Porky's"? :rotfl: That movie came out around 1982 when I was pregnant with my oldest, and it was the first time I'd ever heard that term.........but I was only 23, and rather naive at that. :)

FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I · May 21, 2005

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! Fran, haven't you ever seen "Porky's"? :rotfl: That movie came out around 1982 when I was pregnant with my oldest, and it was the first time I'd ever heard that term.........but I was only 23, and rather naive at that. :)

Nope never saw it. Never heard of that term either, but just by the message, I knew it was a member. I was just thought it was a funny name, and I couldn'r resist asking about it just to see what the reaction would be to my question. Heh, I still think it's a funny name.