Things Patients Have Taught Me NOT To Do

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Never....NEVER...cut a potato in half and use it as a pessary! :eek:

Anybody got anything to add?

Don't swerve your car expecting that it will cause your unrestrained child to stop crying

I can safely assume that it worked - permanently?

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I can safely assume that it worked - permanently?

Not sure, last I saw the child was getting a ride on a helicopter- too bad they weren't conscious to enjoy it

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Specializes in Nasty sammiches and Dilaudid.

Apparently inserting opened safety pins up one's urethra is a bad idea--who'd have thunk it...:eek::eek::eek:

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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

YIKES! Just thinking about that makes me cringe.

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Specializes in Medical.
Apparently inserting opened safety pins up one's urethra is a bad idea--who'd have thunk it...:eek::eek::eek:

On a related note: don't self-catheterise with a garden hose...

- but wait, there's more -

... then drop fish hooks into your bladder. Just don't.

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On a related note: don't self-catheterise with a garden hose...

- but wait, there's more -

... then drop fish hooks into your bladder. Just don't.

Thanks. I'll have to remember that. :lol2:

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Specializes in Nasty sammiches and Dilaudid.
On a related note: don't self-catheterise with a garden hose...

- but wait, there's more -

... then drop fish hooks into your bladder. Just don't.

There go my weekend plans... :eek::lol2::lol2::lol2:

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Specializes in CCU MICU Rapid Response.

I learned to not snort cocaine the day before I go in for an elective hernia repair. The last dude that did that wound up trached and on dialysis. Im glad for the insight! Ivanna

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Specializes in Peds Medical Floor.

This is the best thread ever!!

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I start nursing school in the fall, and have thoroughly enjoyed reading this thread... I read the whole thing this weekend... and had a number of good laughs!! Thanks everybody!!

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Golly - compared to many of you, I've had a sheltered life!

but my personal favorite:

Do not brace the pneumatic nail gun against your crotch while reloading it.

backstory: Our hospital used to have a general purpose photographer who did everything from taking record shots in surgery, to publicity shots, to whatever was needed. I went into his office one day - this was in the days of film, pre-digital - and he says " You gotta see this" and projects a slide up onto the wall. The full frame is a close up of a member with a large nail through the shaft and out the bottom, then through the scrotum and out the bottom. My first thought was that he had really, really annoyed some woman.

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Oops - remembered another one:

If getting injected with contrast for a renal angiogram causes you to have a cardiac arrest - MENTION THAT to someone the next time you go in for the same study!!

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