I'm only a newbie in nursing and, already, the thought of leaving this field gives me a strange sense of overwhelming peace. I almost feel odd for admitting it. I feel like I shouldn't even admit that. I'm actually a little nervous to see what kind of replies I receive based off my honesty. I hope that people aren't too harsh. It's a feeling I have been struggling with, yet pushing down deep inside of me.
Don't get me wrong, I am passionate about it, but I just have those days where I daydream of doing pretty much any job, but nursing. The thought of getting out of nursing and accepting a mundane, office desk job actually gives me this overwhelming sense of peace & relief. This means something, because I actually got out of the office environment to go to nursing school. I originally planned on going for my NP..but things don’t look so bright for that field either. I’m wondering if I finish my BSN if it’s even plausible for me to think that I would be able to transition to PharmD, MD, PA, or DDS (programs). I won’t lie, I have my eye on PharmD due to time. I also have a general interest in almost every specialty & health related career, so I wouldn’t be doing something I don’t like. I love science and really love math. I’m ok with fulfilling pre-reqs. I just don’t want to have to start all over again..and at the same time..I’m weighing everything out.
I thoroughly enjoyed (besides the corruption/disorganization) learning the human sciences, nursing process, etc. Dirty work, grumpy patients, and the chaos of it all never bothered me much. It's the fact that I go home feeling "less than". I don't feel like I was able to really reach out to my patients. The conditions that nurses work in..just seem to be going down the drain. Forget the fact that one can move around floors, specialties, states, etc. I have seen this pretty much everywhere. Some are just worse than others, but overall, this field is extraordinarily stressful for the ratio of pay. I'm sorry to say that I am not one of those nurses that thinks "But it makes me heart feel warm to know that maybe I just helped ONE patient". Don't get me wrong, I feel awesome helping others, but I don't think it's enough to keep me in the field. There just seems to be a lot of abuse, harassment, cattiness, bullying, work overload, burnout, and an overall ungrateful attitude towards nurses. I will always be a nurse at heart, but I am also a human being and my happiness is essential. If I had to take a pay cut of $15,000 less (for example) per year, I would..if it meant I would be happier.
I am not sure if this is normal. A few of my nurse friends have expressed the same thoughts. Some are new grads (BSN) and haven't found employment in the last year, so they don't have as strong of opinions. For some strange reason, I feel extremely pressured to stay in this field. Pressured by family, friends, and everyone. You're always hearing that this field is in high demand, has great pay..etc. I feel like everyone else cannot see what I see. So here is my Q...I haven't even finished my BSN yet...and I am hesitating doing so. I don't want to spend another 4 years in school, if I pick a different major..but I don't know of any different majors that I could apply most of my classes to, right now, and finish up a Bachelors in 2 years..so my BSN seems like the most logical choice. If it's not, please speak now! I was looking into a Bachelors in Health Care Administration, but I am unsure if it's even more difficult to find work in that field. I know some of this has to do with the economy.
My question is...if I finish my BSN (as that seems to be my only choice..unless I want to start all over again for a new major) would the transition to PharmD, D.D.S, or M.D. programs be possible? What about P.A.? If I had it my way and could start all over again, I would have gone for Biology, straight out of highschool, and applied to one of the above at the age of 22. Sigh, I just want to live life. I would like to settle down, have a family, buy a home..but at the same time I am trying to be realistic and further my career/education.
Any feedback? Again, I'll be honest with you. I have these moments where I envy people who majored in a different field, and while they aren't making tons of money, they have stability and they are happy. It strikes me as unhealthy for me to already be growing anxious about a field in which I just entered. I'm just trying to find out if there are other options out there. I don't want to be "stuck" in nursing forever. If nursing was different, or improving, then yes...but I feel like I'm ignoring my basic instinct by staying in this field...regardless of the fact that I know I would do the best for my patients and perform well.I really feel sad that I entered a field where I felt I could make a difference in patient's lives and help them..only to find out that nurses are just seen as a way of affordable/cheap health care and many are practically slaved. It is a little upsetting to think of such bright individuals being subject to that. Nurses are intelligent beings, but not always treated as such.
