The thought of leaving the nursing field brings me an overwhelming sense of peace....

[efda3]

~Slightly long read. I apologize~

I'm only a newbie in nursing and, already, the thought of leaving this field gives me a strange sense of overwhelming peace. I almost feel odd for admitting it. I feel like I shouldn't even admit that. I'm actually a little nervous to see what kind of replies I receive based off my honesty. I hope that people aren't too harsh. It's a feeling I have been struggling with, yet pushing down deep inside of me.

Don't get me wrong, I am passionate about it, but I just have those days where I daydream of doing pretty much any job, but nursing. The thought of getting out of nursing and accepting a mundane, office desk job actually gives me this overwhelming sense of peace & relief. This means something, because I actually got out of the office environment to go to nursing school. I originally planned on going for my NP..but things don’t look so bright for that field either. I’m wondering if I finish my BSN if it’s even plausible for me to think that I would be able to transition to PharmD, MD, PA, or DDS (programs). I won’t lie, I have my eye on PharmD due to time. I also have a general interest in almost every specialty & health related career, so I wouldn’t be doing something I don’t like. I love science and really love math. I’m ok with fulfilling pre-reqs. I just don’t want to have to start all over again..and at the same time..I’m weighing everything out.

I thoroughly enjoyed (besides the corruption/disorganization) learning the human sciences, nursing process, etc. Dirty work, grumpy patients, and the chaos of it all never bothered me much. It's the fact that I go home feeling "less than". I don't feel like I was able to really reach out to my patients. The conditions that nurses work in..just seem to be going down the drain. Forget the fact that one can move around floors, specialties, states, etc. I have seen this pretty much everywhere. Some are just worse than others, but overall, this field is extraordinarily stressful for the ratio of pay. I'm sorry to say that I am not one of those nurses that thinks "But it makes me heart feel warm to know that maybe I just helped ONE patient". Don't get me wrong, I feel awesome helping others, but I don't think it's enough to keep me in the field. There just seems to be a lot of abuse, harassment, cattiness, bullying, work overload, burnout, and an overall ungrateful attitude towards nurses. I will always be a nurse at heart, but I am also a human being and my happiness is essential. If I had to take a pay cut of $15,000 less (for example) per year, I would..if it meant I would be happier.

I am not sure if this is normal. A few of my nurse friends have expressed the same thoughts. Some are new grads (BSN) and haven't found employment in the last year, so they don't have as strong of opinions. For some strange reason, I feel extremely pressured to stay in this field. Pressured by family, friends, and everyone. You're always hearing that this field is in high demand, has great pay..etc. I feel like everyone else cannot see what I see. So here is my Q...I haven't even finished my BSN yet...and I am hesitating doing so. I don't want to spend another 4 years in school, if I pick a different major..but I don't know of any different majors that I could apply most of my classes to, right now, and finish up a Bachelors in 2 years..so my BSN seems like the most logical choice. If it's not, please speak now! I was looking into a Bachelors in Health Care Administration, but I am unsure if it's even more difficult to find work in that field. I know some of this has to do with the economy.

My question is...if I finish my BSN (as that seems to be my only choice..unless I want to start all over again for a new major) would the transition to PharmD, D.D.S, or M.D. programs be possible? What about P.A.? If I had it my way and could start all over again, I would have gone for Biology, straight out of highschool, and applied to one of the above at the age of 22. Sigh, I just want to live life. I would like to settle down, have a family, buy a home..but at the same time I am trying to be realistic and further my career/education.

Any feedback? Again, I'll be honest with you. I have these moments where I envy people who majored in a different field, and while they aren't making tons of money, they have stability and they are happy. It strikes me as unhealthy for me to already be growing anxious about a field in which I just entered. I'm just trying to find out if there are other options out there. I don't want to be "stuck" in nursing forever. If nursing was different, or improving, then yes...but I feel like I'm ignoring my basic instinct by staying in this field...regardless of the fact that I know I would do the best for my patients and perform well.I really feel sad that I entered a field where I felt I could make a difference in patient's lives and help them..only to find out that nurses are just seen as a way of affordable/cheap health care and many are practically slaved. It is a little upsetting to think of such bright individuals being subject to that. Nurses are intelligent beings, but not always treated as such.

[linearthinker, DNP, RN]

definitely gets better after the first year. as far as "cattiness" goes, i have to say that i haven't experienced it in over thirty years of nursing. maybe i'm just oblivious, or maybe i've done a stellar job of choosing my workplaces, or maybe it's just not that big of a deal.

believe it or not, i'm fairly quiet and shy.

ita w/ this. except for one single person (who is just an idiot), i have had the best coworkers (excluding administrators and management) at multiple work site in several parts of the country for over 20 years. i couldn't love and/or respect them more. that said, i felt positively giddy when i turned in my letter of resignation a few weeks ago. it was very unexpected, i had planned to stay until i passed np boards, but hubby is very suportive of my taking a break for a few months, and i was going to have to work on christmas, so i resigned early. my last day is now officially dec 17th, and yeah, i feel an "overwhelming sense of peace." i hope my manager has to work my christmas shift too, as there have been no volunteers so far. ;-)

[fallrisk2008]

Just caution to the OP. If you think bedside nursing is hard, then you would be highly disappointed in an MD program. After 4 years of grueling education you have four years of 80 hour weeks as residents. As a resident you get bullied (by nurses, by patients, and by your attending), chastised, over-work, sleep deprived, under paid (one intern told me he makes about $30,000 a year for those 90 hour weeks).

I've been a nurse for just over two years now, and I felt the same way you did when I started. I work full-time and go to graduate school full-time, so similar career trajectory as yours. I'll be finished with my NP this year. Nursing is really hard. Not only are your co-workers and patients sometimes unbearable, you always have to deal with under-staffing and over-expectations. I think the turning point came for me when I found a mentor. She has so many more years of experience and she is able to process difficult situations with me.

Some thoughts:

1) No matter where you work there will be some level of cattiness, office politics etc. Learning how to be assertive and to problem solve will be important regardless of your profession.

2) If you find a pattern to negative experiences, do a root-cause analysis. Maybe the problem is real or maybe it is perception.

3) Individual psychotherapy is valuable in helping you process life stressors.

4) Nursing is unique in that we get to be the face of health care for our patients and have the ability to intervene and advocate for them. This is the most rewarding part for me. When a patient says, "thanks for taking such good care of me" I go home feeling incredible. (And, I put those rare times when a patient has cussed me out and called me every name in the book in the back of my mind as a character building experience).

5) There are lots of different jobs in nursing--everything from med/surg, ER, ICU, LTC, to case-management. I have friends who have left floor nursing to be care coordinators for patients returning from Iraq/Afghanistan. So, nursing may have a good place for you to excel.

6) If nursing does not feel like a genuinely good fit after a reasonable "break in" period, do not continue nursing school and explore other fields.

It is very brave of you to post such an earnest message in a place that could be potentially volatile. I think that you are representing people who are afraid to say what they really feel, and instead suffer silently. Some people are fortunate that they have never worked in a negative environment. Isn't it ironic that nurses, supposedly the most caring profession, can be hurtful? I have seen it with a few people I work with and I realize that it is within them. Maybe is due to issues of their own inadequacy or innate sense of inferiority that compel them to behave badly.

Good luck.

[Alum08]

Hi. I understand where you are coming from. Along time ago when I was in a BSN program I got realy bored with nursing and didn't want to do it anymore. I did not complete the program... I followed my husband to Dallas. I went on about my life. I finally came to the conclusion that I had made a mistake. When I tried to go back all of my sciences classes had expired. Many schools in the area have a 5 yr time limit. I dropped out of nursing school 5 yrs ago. Not a single day that goes by do I forget about the mistake I made. I would rethink it. You should finish the program and then if you want to do something else you can. Besides you could work part time as a nurse while working on the PharmD thing. You would hate to make drastically less than 60k. Not all jobs pay well like nursing. Money matters when you don't have any

[wondern, ASN]

Wow, efda3, that was a beautifully worded and thought out post.

I am sorry to say I fully understand and think you are quite wise for figuring this out now.

Seems like a pharmacist would be a bit more independent. I guess it all depends where you work, and how they treat you, with respect and dignity, or not. :)

Unfortunately, even some facilities that brag about their 'magnet' classification have unethical, disrespectful managers in charge of hard-working, experienced nurses, who would love nothing better than to watch you squirm until they can fire you for nothing more than their amusement, really!!!

Who wants to work like that? In a will to work state, it's apparently okay! I worked too many years not only for my licensure but also for the same facility to be treated like that in the end! :redbeathe I didn't 'let' anyone walk all over me, either! I fought for myself. I did a lot of good but enough is enough. This board is great for venting. I must not be completely over nursing though or why would I be on this board or renewing my license?

Best of luck in your decision, efda3. Thanks for pointing out your observations so far so clearly. It actually is kind of healing for others, too. It's okay to be at peace with it. Peace is good. Thanks for sharing some peaceful feelings with all of us. :redpinkhe

[SoundofMusic]

I'm surprised at your comment on the NP field ...as far as I can see -- this field is going to only get better w/ time as there is an extreme shortage of primary care MD's. I personally see NP jobs everywhere I look -- and many accept new grads.

I've had a love/hate relationship w/ nursing also. If we were actually allowed to be NURSES and not paper pushers, it might be ok. If nurses actually supported one another and fought together instead of against one another, it might be ok. If administrators actually cared about patients rather than profits, it might also be ok ...if nurses actually had full authority over their assistants, it might be ok.

But I am thoroughly enjoying my NP program and just have a good feeling I'm going to really enjoy being an NP, especially after a get 2-3 years of experience ... I really look forward to it. Might be good to revisit the advanced practice fields and see if you could find your niche in there somewhere. :)

That said ...I myself am "quitting" my hideous and horribly unsatisfying nursing job in rehab in a few weeks. I'm taking a 5-month sabbatical to work on grad school. It will be tight, but I just need a "soul' break from nursing ... and boy, am I looking forward to it!

[jaminc]

I agree with you 100%! I have only been a nurse for two years and I have more nights of dread than I have had in my life. Hospital nursing is terrible and although I feel a sense of pride and accomplishment from the care I give my patients - I am not fullfilled in what I do. The hospital breeds a negative and unhappy environment for nurses to work. I work hard - but come on - there is only so much one can do!! Task saturation - alongside extremely sick patients = recipe for disaster! You have to be on your toes at all times! I never thought I would dislike a job so much. I was so excited to become a nurse and know all I say to others is "don't do it" or "don't work at a hospital". I have realized that it does not get better and the future will only bring worse conditions (especially with this new legislation).

another reason for the nursing shortage - new grads start working and think "holy crap - what have I done this for". We struggle to make it through school to find out that the other side is very dark and unpleasant!

[mcdmom]

Dear Thought of leaving the nursing field,

It makes me sad to read how working as a nurse has made you feel. You seem like the type of nurse ill people need on their side especially when they are hospitalized. Your letter sounds like you are a thoughtful nurse who is a patients advocate when they can not advocate for themselves.

I am an older nurse who graduated in 1974. I have mainly worked in acute care hospitals, community and doctor owned hospitals, and ones associated with teaching (mainly med/surg floors for about 17 + years). I had to support myself so not working wasn't an option therefore I had to live with the changes as they happened. I have been semi retired for many years, meaning I have not worked in acute care hospitals since 1995. Yet even before 1995 I could see that when corporations took over community and doctor owned hospitals the working conditions changed. I could see a direct relationship between the corporate mentality that was imposed on the practice of nursing and the care of patients. Bottom lines of business and insurance contractors dictated patient care and therefore patient outcomes. The work place became competitive rather than cooperative. This is a quick summary of what I saw from my perspective. Could that be the mentality you are seeing as, " jr. high "?

Good luck with this decision. I do hope you stay in the medical profession, we can use all the compassionate thoughtful people we can get,

McDormom

[dbscandy]

efda3, you're not going to find your answers on this board. You will, however, find someone happy or unhappy in every field. You must do the research for yourself for the amount of schooling you want to attempt and what exactly is involved in the specialties. Find those individuals and talk to them.

But in my very humble opinion, you should finish your BSN so that you will have a bird in the hand, so to speak. You don't mention supporting yourself as you make queries about furthering/changing educational plans. You could work in many aspects of nursing that have nothing to do with bedpans or icky situations until you decide what you really want. Exciting further education could put you into CRNA (good future w/less anesthesiologists), Forensic Nursing (great science but with interesting ick), Flight Nursing (up, up and away & cool flight suits!), NP (a tremendous opportunity in many specialties - Neonatology a great one) and last, but not least, Military Nursing (serve your country and see the world unless that might be a little too much ick!!).

You are really smart to question this now but choose carefully. Know yourself so you'll have no regrets.

[Wishinonastar, BSN]

I think you should listen to your instinct- when I have failed to do that I have always been sorry. I have nothing to compare nursing to, it is all I have ever known as I started out right from high school as an aide. I have taught in nursing and worked in many types of nursing, but always nursing.

I felt the same as you about money until I had major bills and a family. Now money is more important than fulfillment as I am entering the last good working years I will have. I would love to try something else but I am trapped.

The truth is though that it seems most people dislike their jobs. Work is stressful, if it wasn't it would be called "fun" instead of "work". I now work in a school and the teachers have it so good but they all complain. They make twice as much as me, yet I work a longer workday and more days a year, plus I have more education than most of them. I am nothing there because I am only a nurse. The secretaries complain, the vending machine people complain, the building supervisor complains, the guard complains. My brother in laws complain about their jobs, my sister complains, my husband complains. NO ONE LIKES WORK.

The bottom line is make sure that you are leaving for the right reasons so you don't live to regret it.

[susy40]

Bravo. I admire sincere people. It's better to be honest and say what you really feel about nursing than stay in the field complaining, and being unhappy. For instance I will feel deeply depressed if I have to pay my bills working as an accountant; my brother is one and love his job. I love nursing; It's the only job I would do even for free. I get to work earlier than anybody else ready for the challenges of the day and feel greatly satisfied when I finish my shift succesfully. Nursing is an exciting demanding profession, just what I like; however not everybody can handle the challenge. I am very lucky that I can make a living doing something I love. For people that cannot handle nursing the way it is at this moment should be honest and just move on to another profession. Good luck

[dhinson45]

From a "old" nurse of 37 years, glad to see you see things the way they really are. When I was in my clinical, I really, really looked around and asked fellow nurse if they liked their jobs? The answer was not positive. Your observations are correct. In all these years, it never changed and I do not see any future changes. It is really sad to spend all that time,money and your soul, just to be abused. All the positions I held. the Prison was the best place to work, for me. The nurses are treated the best,respected and ran the medical departments. You are able to do things that you are not allowed to do in the " free world ". You are very protected as when things " go down" EVERYONE turns to the nurses. At times you may be the only medical officer for 2400 inmates. Things can get real interesting though. Having been around the block, would not have gone to into medical as a nurse. I think you are wise to be questioning the decision and I wish you much luck.

[dhinson45]

My husband is an OT and really finds it satisfying. The hours are good and a lot of one on one with the patients. It is very nice to see your patient able to do something that they could not before. I had a massive head injury, brain surgery and ended up in a Rehab facility and he was my OT. I recovered and married him. I think your interest would be well worth looking into. Best of luck!!