I've been SO exhausted lately! There are times where I know that I was meant to be a nurse, there's nothing I would rather be, and I feel that my job is SO rewarding!!!
.....and then there is this week. There seems to be a very large influx of patients and family members that are extremely rude and demanding!
I'm looking for help before I get burned out! There are a lot of things that patients sometimes say, such as "hurry up, you people aren't helping me (when you've been running around all night, cleaning them up every hour), etc..." I TOTALLY understand that these patients are probably having the worst day of their lives and I would never in a million years trade places with them, but I can't help but to take it personally sometimes.
Can you give me some advice on how to diffuse or deflect these types of comments? Maybe some good ways of handling some of the more rude comments that you've been handed? They don't have to be the ones I mentioned above, because I'm sure whatever you've heard, I have heard or will hear too.
I'm Irish with what people from outside of Ireland percieve as a Northern Irish accent. I work in Australia. An Australian man heard my accent and straight up asked me if I was a Catholic or Protestant as he was a member of the IRA (seriously he was wimper than a overcooked noodle) and wouldn't have "no proddy ××××× looking after him" and yammering on about the Troubles.
On a side note I am 6ft tall and have a special skill in dirty looks and quick come backs.
I pulled myself up to my full height and snapped that he knew nothing about the Troubles and to stop swearing, it didn't matter if I was Catholic ot Protestant, unionist or nationalist I would be his nurse, but the ruder he was the less he would enjoy his care.
His mother came in later and apologized for his behaviour. I told her at his age he should not need his mother apologizing for his behavior.
Plenty inquire about my ethnicity. I'm one of those people who looks like they could be from different places but you can't quite figure out which one.
Didn't bother me at first but now it's just offensive, especially when coming from the middle age/older folk who ask in that "innocent, inquisitive tone." Ugh. It shouldn't matter if I'm white, Indian, Hispanic, black, green, yellow. But ignorance is plenty in today's world.
I was fine with constant questioning of my origins, my family, my reasons to come to the USA, etc., till one guy smirked and playfully asked "and then you didn't get enough of (obscenity) there and jumped across the puddle thinking that (more of the same)?"
That was the end of it. Ever since, I refuse speaking about anything personal till, at least, there is some sort of rapport between me and them. End of discussion. You are not just curious, sir/ma'am; you are nosy indeed.
I also had my share of passionate patriots wanting "only American nurse" and "no foreigners" near 'em. Kinda funny see the result when you're called to that room as the last resort for putting that IV in
Plenty inquire about my ethnicity. I'm one of those people who looks like they could be from different places but you can't quite figure out which one.
Didn't bother me at first but now it's just offensive, especially when coming from the middle age/older folk who ask in that "innocent, inquisitive tone." Ugh. It shouldn't matter if I'm white, Indian, Hispanic, black, green, yellow. But ignorance is plenty in today's world.
Yeah - my favorite is the "so where are you from?" which usually results me telling them where I live now. I know that they mean "where are you originally from" but I do not volunteer information. People hardly ever guess my accent right and I have gotten plenty of crap over the years...
I was fine with constant questioning of my origins, my family, my reasons to come to the USA, etc., till one guy smirked and playfully asked "and then you didn't get enough of (obscenity) there and jumped across the puddle thinking that (more of the same)?"
That was the end of it. Ever since, I refuse speaking about anything personal till, at least, there is some sort of rapport between me and them. End of discussion. You are not just curious, sir/ma'am; you are nosy indeed.
I also had my share of passionate patriots wanting "only American nurse" and "no foreigners" near 'em. Kinda funny see the result when you're called to that room as the last resort for putting that IV in
Yes, I can relate to everything you wrote...
Unfortunately, some work places also have employees who do not deal well with diversity but they mostly hide it more .
Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
Yeah - my favorite is the "so where are you from?" which usually results me telling them where I live now. I know that they mean "where are you originally from" but I do not volunteer information. People hardly ever guess my accent right and I have gotten plenty of crap over the years...
I've gotten the "where are you from" question hundreds of times since I relocated to Texas 11 years ago. I've also been asked, "So were you born in America?" or "Are you a lady of America?"
I'm black and was born and raised in southern California. I stand out like a sore thumb because I speak so-called 'proper English' without a Texas drawl or any so-called 'black-sounding' speech patterns, as I've been told. However, I picked up a few interesting pronunciations from my mother (also born/raised in SoCal) that some people in this region tend to mistake as a foreign accent.
No one guesses my accent correctly, either. People have guessed that I'm from places such as New York, Trinidad & Tobago, Great Britain, Boston, and a wide variety of locales where they've never been, but heard the accent on TV.
When someone local says, "You talk funny," I want to respond, "You talk funny, too. Your drawl makes you sound like a country bumpkin."
Specializes in Critical Care Nursing and Orthopaedic Nu.
Rudest Words Used By Patient's Family
I still remember that incident, which happened 4 years back, when I was working in Cardiac ICU. We were unable to revive a MI patient, who had sudden heart attack, while talking with the family members during Visting hours. I was the primary nurse, looking after that patient, when patient had cardiac arrest....
Family Members, who were in the stage of Anger, shouted at me telling that " What a Nurse you are, when you couldn't save our father... Are you trained enough to work in ICU???? If yes, get back our father"...'
I was stunned by their words, but turned back mutely, thinking that in such a stage 'Silence is better than Words....'
I don't think you can directly deal with or deflect comments by idiots and/or racists. I think the best way to deal with the variety of patients, family members, etc. is to take the good with the bad - I appreciate the heck out of the patients and family members whom I get along with well, who can tell I'm doing the best I can, and so on ... it somewhat mitigates the experiences with the 'bad'/angry/never-satisfied ones.
Plenty inquire about my ethnicity. I'm one of those people who looks like they could be from different places but you can't quite figure out which one.
Didn't bother me at first but now it's just offensive, especially when coming from the middle age/older folk who ask in that "innocent, inquisitive tone." Ugh. It shouldn't matter if I'm white, Indian, Hispanic, black, green, yellow. But ignorance is plenty in today's world.
I also have a very multicultural background: German, Russian, and Iranian. So I get this often and it is rude and makes me uncomfortable.
I also have a very multicultural background: German Russian, and Iranian. So I get this often and it is rude and makes me uncomfortable.[/quote']
So many people do not realize that such "just curiosity" is rude.
One RN who practically tormented me for everything and nothing at all during my terrible first year got very sick and was trached for a while. She eventually got off vent and recovered but her voice changed as to look like some strange accent. As a result, she is constantly asked all these "where'are you froms", being born American and proud of it. When she says so, there come questions about her parents, her school, etc., etc. all because "we're just curious". Being employed in facility which jumps outta irs pants about "customer service", she doesn't have luxury to answer "sorry, don't feel like discussing it now" (which is my standard asnwer).The first time we met after long hiatus, she practically cried on my shoulder for good half an hour, asking again and again for my forgiveness.
So many people do not realize that such "just curiosity" is rude.
Yes, it is rude because most people do not ask because they are really interested in other cultures. They ask with a slightly uncomfortable "who knows if this foreigner is a real nurse " and what not.
Once in a while somebody is really interested and we talk about travels, food, and such.
Once in a while somebody asks me if I am credentialed though my ID lists my degree, RN and specialty certification lol. Guess you never know.
Yes, it is rude because most people do not ask because they are really interested in other cultures. They ask with a slightly uncomfortable "who knows if this foreigner is a real nurse " and what /QUOTE]
I would believe that if I would not be asked this type of questions by everyone around. Shop attendants, waitressing staff, nurses and aides in hospitals if I happen to be there, whoeverelse, and they all claim that they are "just curious". That very well maybe the truth, but it is up to me to give the info, or take my business elsewhere
K+MgSO4, BSN
1,753 Posts
I'm Irish with what people from outside of Ireland percieve as a Northern Irish accent. I work in Australia. An Australian man heard my accent and straight up asked me if I was a Catholic or Protestant as he was a member of the IRA (seriously he was wimper than a overcooked noodle) and wouldn't have "no proddy ××××× looking after him" and yammering on about the Troubles.
On a side note I am 6ft tall and have a special skill in dirty looks and quick come backs.
I pulled myself up to my full height and snapped that he knew nothing about the Troubles and to stop swearing, it didn't matter if I was Catholic ot Protestant, unionist or nationalist I would be his nurse, but the ruder he was the less he would enjoy his care.
His mother came in later and apologized for his behaviour. I told her at his age he should not need his mother apologizing for his behavior.