The rudest thing that's ever been said to you by a patient or family

Nurses Relations

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Hi Everyone!

I've been SO exhausted lately! There are times where I know that I was meant to be a nurse, there's nothing I would rather be, and I feel that my job is SO rewarding!!!

.....and then there is this week. There seems to be a very large influx of patients and family members that are extremely rude and demanding!

I'm looking for help before I get burned out! There are a lot of things that patients sometimes say, such as "hurry up, you people aren't helping me (when you've been running around all night, cleaning them up every hour), etc..." I TOTALLY understand that these patients are probably having the worst day of their lives and I would never in a million years trade places with them, but I can't help but to take it personally sometimes.

Can you give me some advice on how to diffuse or deflect these types of comments? Maybe some good ways of handling some of the more rude comments that you've been handed? They don't have to be the ones I mentioned above, because I'm sure whatever you've heard, I have heard or will hear too.

I'm a psych nurse. What hasn't been said to me? "I hope your baby dies!" While I was in my third trimester. One patient sang a made up song to me titled "You're Too Fat to Fit Down the Chimney". For some reason that one got under my skin. Now it just seems funny. " Hamster! No Guinea Pig!". Of course there was always that one patient that liked to greet me with "C.nt, B.tch, Wh.re!" pretty much daily. Mostly it is funny, and I enjoy my job.

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Specializes in Geriatrics, Emergency Nursing.

I work in the emergency room. At the start of my shift (1900), I had an ICU patient, intubated, was in a DKA with, only 1 line going, with no central line. I had a thousand of things that I needed to do and I had this family member watching every single thing and was asking about everything that I do and what I give. She was doing these for the first hour. "I dont trust any of you" "I hate this hospital. I want her out of here! transfer her out", she was flat out nasty at me. "You and everyone here is incompetent. She did not need to be intubated".

I didnt want her out of the room. I wanted her to see that I'm doing everything that I can to help her love one.

Around 2100, She was getting tired. I got her a chair and I let her talk: while still taking care of her family.

When the family member calmed down. I still kept her updated on what I was doing, even though she was no longer asking me. I said "I know it's hard to see her like this and how powerless you may feel. But we're on the same side. I too have a family in the hospital at this time, and I worry. But I trust his nurses because I know that they'll take care of my step-dad like how I am taking care of your aunt". She was quiet.

At 2130, She said she was leaving. She was calm, she was thankful. I reassured her "Dont worry. I'll take care of her". That same family berating me earlier said "I know", and she walked out a different person than when we first met.

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Thankfully I've never had a family or patient be rude to me in the six years I've been a nurse. Oh wait, I take it back. Once I was called a jerk by my patient's roommate because I refused to discuss the roommate's medical problems with him. Apparently he hasn't heard of HIPAA. The rudest thing I've overheard was a patient's family calling one of my CNAs " a tub of lard". And management was ok with it.

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Specializes in ICU, Med-Surg, Float.
Are you a nurse? I would assume an experienced nurse would know that is not true. That is a very ignorant statement.

I'm pretty sure he was being sarcastic... At least I hope so!!

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I'm pretty sure he was being sarcastic... At least I hope so!!

Over the Internet, there is no telling!

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Specializes in Emergency/Trauma/Critical Care Nursing.
I work in the emergency room. At the start of my shift (1900), I had an ICU patient, intubated, was in a DKA with, only 1 line going, with no central line. I had a thousand of things that I needed to do and I had this family member watching every single thing and was asking about everything that I do and what I give. She was doing these for the first hour. "I dont trust any of you" "I hate this hospital. I want her out of here! transfer her out", she was flat out nasty at me. "You and everyone here is incompetent. She did not need to be intubated".

I didnt want her out of the room. I wanted her to see that I'm doing everything that I can to help her love one.

Around 2100, She was getting tired. I got her a chair and I let her talk: while still taking care of her family.

When the family member calmed down. I still kept her updated on what I was doing, even though she was no longer asking me. I said "I know it's hard to see her like this and how powerless you may feel. But we're on the same side. I too have a family in the hospital at this time, and I worry. But I trust his nurses because I know that they'll take care of my step-dad like how I am taking care of your aunt". She was quiet.

At 2130, She said she was leaving. She was calm, she was thankful. I reassured her "Dont worry. I'll take care of her". That same family berating me earlier said "I know", and she walked out a different person than when we first met.

I love this!!

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Specializes in Hospital medicine; NP precepting; staff education.

rhkenji, I find the best way I've been able to diffuse situations has been to show competence and really say what you did, "We're on the same side."

There is a rare occasion that line doesn't work, but for the most part, it does.

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.

I've worked in corrections, so of course nasty things were spewed my way. But honestly, I don't remember anything because they slept fine after insulting me so why shouldn't I?

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