I've been SO exhausted lately! There are times where I know that I was meant to be a nurse, there's nothing I would rather be, and I feel that my job is SO rewarding!!!
.....and then there is this week. There seems to be a very large influx of patients and family members that are extremely rude and demanding!
I'm looking for help before I get burned out! There are a lot of things that patients sometimes say, such as "hurry up, you people aren't helping me (when you've been running around all night, cleaning them up every hour), etc..." I TOTALLY understand that these patients are probably having the worst day of their lives and I would never in a million years trade places with them, but I can't help but to take it personally sometimes.
Can you give me some advice on how to diffuse or deflect these types of comments? Maybe some good ways of handling some of the more rude comments that you've been handed? They don't have to be the ones I mentioned above, because I'm sure whatever you've heard, I have heard or will hear too.
Specializes in Cardio-Pulmonary; Med-Surg; Private Duty.
Plenty inquire about my ethnicity. I'm one of those people who looks like they could be from different places but you can't quite figure out which one.
Didn't bother me at first but now it's just offensive, especially when coming from the middle age/older folk who ask in that "innocent, inquisitive tone." Ugh. It shouldn't matter if I'm white, Indian, Hispanic, black, green, yellow. But ignorance is plenty in today's world.
I'd be inclined to state that you came out of your mother's uterus...
But then, I'm known to be a bit of a smartorifice!
Specializes in Cardio-Pulmonary; Med-Surg; Private Duty.
It is amazing how much xenophobia there is. And prejudice. It is very sad actually.
It is all over the place. I work with a variety of physicians from other cultures and countries. All of them are very well qualified and excellent clinicians. Unfortunately, some patients and even some nurses tend to think that they are not qualified as evidenced by respective remarks. I had to say more than once that the doctor is excellent and very well capable to provide the care. The same is true for other staff.
The hospitalist at my facility with the thickest accent and darkest skin is the most thorough and detail-oriented doc I've worked with. People would be lucky to have him caring for them, and yet I know there are some that don't even bother to think beyond the accent and skin tone.
Specializes in Neuro/NSGY, critical care, med/stroke/tele.
Happened on Tuesday... brother and sister-in-law of a patient (not HCProxy, patient not awake to give me the go-ahead to give them info) who were asking multiple questions: "why am I even asking you, you wouldn't know. You're just the nurse".
Yeah dude, thanks. I'm JUST THE NURSE who has been here the last 7 hours AFTER the physician (patient was covered by their PCP while in the hospital) has left and who has much more up to date info than he would have. I'm JUST THE NURSE who was here yesterday and watched my co-worker struggle with the PCP to get appropriate orders to help her break the 4 HOURS rapid a-fib she was in (it took multiple repeat doses of IV lopressor because he was ordering them in 2.5mg increments).
"Don't bother me. Your job is to do what the doctor tells you." 1) just no. 2) I don't need to hear any sort of definition, right or wrong, about my job description from a rude patient.
I'd be tempted to say "alright then, I'll go and let you wait till the doctor shows up to take care of you."
Happened on Tuesday... brother and sister-in-law of a patient (not HCProxy, patient not awake to give me the go-ahead to give them info) who were asking multiple questions: "why am I even asking you, you wouldn't know. You're just the nurse".
because he was ordering them in 2.5mg increments).
Ugh.
"Yup, probably shouldn't ask me anything else k thanks bye!!"
What's the rudest thing that's been said to me by a patient or family?
A patient called me a black ___ (rhymes with 'witch,' but starts with 'B') and told me to "go back to Africa." I told him I was born and raised in the US, as well as the preceding six generations of my family.
I also ended the interaction and turned his care over to another nurse who belonged to the same racial group as him. Life is too short to deal with people who stereotype me and do not want me around.
I was told "don't touch me you old ass (insert N word) b_ _ _ h" by a high school student who had been in a fight. The regular school RN was busy with the other kid and they didn't want them together so I had this kid in a conference room just off the main office. I happen to be a white lady. Lilly white in fact. Northern European heritage. I get sunburned walking to my mailbox. The student was also white. Not as white as me, but white none the less.
I was taken aback as I've NEVER been disrespected by a student like that before. I was also very confused because I knew that word to discriminate against black people. I was horrified that I had a racist on my hands...and there's nothing more that I hate than a racist. I wondered if his vision was affected because he had a black eye. I called his grandma to come pick him up and I said he would need to see his pediatrician or go to the ER right away.
When she arrived to pick him up I told him he what he called me when I tried to look at his wounds.
She looked at him and said "Did you say that to the NURSE?"
He said "no, she's lying"
She looked at me, then looked at him, looked at me again, then looked at him and all the while she started to turn bright red and breath hard and her eyes got really big. I was ready to run for the AED just in case.
She looked at him again (at this point she reminded me of one of those cartoon characters you used to see on television who were red with steam coming out of their ears) and said "YOU LIEEEEEEE!!!!!!" and smacked him so hard that he fell off his stool and into the copy machine.
The principal, the police officer, the school RN all came out of their office to see what was going on.
Next week, I was given an apology letter from the student explaining that he wasn't raised to use those words and he hoped I would give him a second chance.
I am shocked by some of the answers here on this thread from what we've collectively endured on the job. Abuse in any capacity should be grounds for removal from the premises.
Meh, I guess I have the face of nurse ratchet because even though I'm a medium brown girl working in a predominantly caucasian area I've yet to have a patient be verbally disrespectful or abusive towards me in any manner either regarding their care or my race. I know I've been very lucky so far.
Lots of little old ladies calling me fat. I just laugh at them and tell them they're beautiful too xD. I've had some patients say some truly mean things. The key is just to laugh at them and kill 'em with kindness.
My favorite insult was about a particular tech we have on our floor. She's flippin' wonderful, but we're in the conservative south and she looks very butch. One of those where if she doesn't speak, you might not know she's female. She works days, I work nights. The conversation with the patient went like this:
Him: "Hmph, and the helper from earlier is a dummy!"
Me: "Well that's not a very nice thing to say about someone."
Him: "What?? I didn't even call him gay!"
I left the room and then had a giggle fit at the fact that he didn't realize she was female, thought it was a gay dude taking care of him, and legitimately thought he was doing a kindness calling her stupid because gay is so much worse. Ahhh bigots :).
I'm a psych nurse. What hasn't been said to me? "I hope your baby dies!" While I was in my third trimester. One patient sang a made up song to me titled "You're Too Fat to Fit Down the Chimney". For some reason that one got under my skin. Now it just seems funny. " Hamster! No Guinea Pig!". Of course there was always that one patient that liked to greet me with "C.nt, B.tch, Wh.re!" pretty much daily. Mostly it is funny, and I enjoy my job.
I work in the emergency room. At the start of my shift (1900), I had an ICU patient, intubated, was in a DKA with, only 1 line going, with no central line. I had a thousand of things that I needed to do and I had this family member watching every single thing and was asking about everything that I do and what I give. She was doing these for the first hour. "I dont trust any of you" "I hate this hospital. I want her out of here! transfer her out", she was flat out nasty at me. "You and everyone here is incompetent. She did not need to be intubated".
I didnt want her out of the room. I wanted her to see that I'm doing everything that I can to help her love one.
Around 2100, She was getting tired. I got her a chair and I let her talk: while still taking care of her family.
When the family member calmed down. I still kept her updated on what I was doing, even though she was no longer asking me. I said "I know it's hard to see her like this and how powerless you may feel. But we're on the same side. I too have a family in the hospital at this time, and I worry. But I trust his nurses because I know that they'll take care of my step-dad like how I am taking care of your aunt". She was quiet.
At 2130, She said she was leaving. She was calm, she was thankful. I reassured her "Dont worry. I'll take care of her". That same family berating me earlier said "I know", and she walked out a different person than when we first met.
brillohead, ADN, RN
1,781 Posts
I'd be inclined to state that you came out of your mother's uterus...
But then, I'm known to be a bit of a smartorifice!