The Fat One

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Do you find it inappropriate and unprofessional for a charge nurse to describe a student nurse as the fat one to her instructor? This happened the other day where I work, and I felt very bad because the student heard her and was upset about it. There was an incident on the floor and our charge was trying to blame the student for it, even though they weren't on the floor at the time.

I really don't understand why some nurses hate working with students. I've always found them helpful, especially when it comes to ADLs and answering call lights. Our charge was angry at the time, but I still feel that it was wrong for her to describe the student like that, and to report her to her instructor after both I and the student explained that she was off the floor at the time.

@AspiringNurseMW I'm used to "morena" and "negrita" being terms of endearment. I'm fluent in Spanish but speak English perfectly without an accent to the point where I sound "white" lol.

Sigh. Oh, I dream to speak English without an accent.

On the other hand, it's so much fun to go off in a blue streak in Spanish in front of my coworkers and classmates who don't speak Spanish, it kind of makes up for that.

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You know what's amusing? Listening to an ultra-politically correct person try to point out the only black person in the room by describing their outfit, height, glasses, anything but the obvious. :laugh:

But you know it's become so PC in this country and a lot of people are afraid to just come and say "you now, the black one".

I do agree with you-if it's said out of earshot what harm does it do. But to say it where the person can hear it is rude IMO. Some people just don't have a filter and whatever comes to mind is the first thing out of their mouth.

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Specializes in Long Term Acute Care, TCU.
If she'd have called the student nurse a n***** she'd have been fired on the spot.

I wonder what difference there really is in calling an obese person 'fat', in a society where you'd have to be blind and deaf to not know what a depersonalizing, demeaning and insulting label this is?

Just ponderings. I agree 'heavy set' is JUST as easy to say as 'fat', and at least in my case, it sure comes quicker to my lips than to point someone out by referring to them as 'fat'.

I don't agree that we can entirely let this nurse off the hook, whatever her circumstances, business, anxiety over some mistake a student made, whatever. It's really not difficult to be kind FIRST, unless your heart is full of unkindness . . . which I suspect is the case here. Otherwise, a different word would have popped out of her mouth than the WELL understood derogatory word "fat".

Seriously? You don't see the difference between the N-word and "fat"? As a fat-ass cracker with a Southern drawl....even I see the difference. You are comparing firecrackers to grenades, my friend.

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Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.
Seriously? You don't see the difference between the N-word and "fat"? As a fat-ass cracker with a Southern drawl....even I see the difference. You are comparing firecrackers to grenades, my friend.

I think Gooselady was actually acknowledging there is a BIG difference between the N-word and "fat". She said that saying the first one would get you fired on the spot. She was agreeing that it is an abominable word , name, or label

Then she went on to seperately address the issue of 'fat blaming" and it's effect on a person..

When she wrote "I wonder what difference there really is," she was not continuing on her statement from the first sentence of her post.

I think you misread it, as, if you were to leave off the first sentence you could see she was ruminating how calling an obese person fat was to impose a demeaning label on them.

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Wah Wah Wah. Now that I have gotten that out of my system I can comment. I will say that the PC eggshell police make me sick. Every time you turn around they are changing labels and expecting the world to adapt. Are you fat and tatted up ? So what. Love yourself and stop expecting the entire planet to adjust on its axis whenever you put on 50 pounds, a pair of glasses, a bad weave,an ugly outfit, blue eyeshadow, get married, get divorced, have a baby, a nervous breakdown, an affair etc etc etc. To be clear I have been called everything but a child of God in my 21 years of nursing but as long as my name is spelled right on my paycheck I don't care. And if your skin isn't that thick WORK ON IT or become a drunk (note that I did not say alcoholic) so you can be offended when someone (like me) refers to you as the drunk one. And if you don't want to be called the fat one don't BE the fat one. And yes I know you have a rare medical/thyroid/metabolic condition that causes you to be overweight despite the healthy plant based diet and 4 times a week cardio plan that you live by. So obviously I am not talking to you precious.

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What's with the new ____-shaming bandwagon? I have heard some of these terms and I thought to myself. If I was a **** maybe I should be ashamed. And if I embraced my sluttiness (is that a word?) why would I care if someone called me a ****? I happen to be a few things that tick people off. Some by birth and some by choice. I don't get offended when they point it out it in an insulting manner. It says more about them than me. Just saying.

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Specializes in Informatics, Med-Surg, Trnsplnt, HemeOnc.

It's never easy for persons who truly wish to be gracious or kind but just end up blurting things out as a matter of course. Sometimes it takes time to overcome these quirks or bad habits especially remembering that the conversation can ALWAYS be within earshot of the one who is the subject of the conversation.

The charge nurse's lack of charity in speech may come from a long history: maybe s/he was brought up in a ‘world' where persons were that blunt so it became a habit for that person, maybe the circumstances were rushed at that time and the charge nurse didn't have a clearer ‘head'. Many persons have a habit of speaking too fast or, rather, being thoughtless and rushing through a situation like a bull in a china cabinet while reacting and then speaking wrongly. I have certainly known nurses who created trouble for themselves because no one recognized this in them and/or never offered constructive criticism privately to help them be better. This gets to be a bad habit and not meant to be hurtful.

We're all human and it's frustrating for some of us to be patient with this but we are all trying to be better. So perhaps one could take that charge nurse aside to acknowledge a difficult situation, mention something good that came of it so as to not hurt his/her own feelings and offer better, more tactful descriptions of the student nurse which would give that Charge RN something to consider that'd be helpful for the next time.

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Specializes in Long Term Acute Care, TCU.

OMG:banghead:OMG:banghead:OMG:banghead:OMG:banghead:OMG:banghead:OMG:banghead:OMG:banghead:OMG:banghead:OMG:banghead:OMG:banghead:OMG:banghead:OMG:banghead:OMG:banghead:

I submitted a response to a topic created by a virgin OP.

I hate it when I do that.

Please AN, create a rule that you cannot post a topic until you have at least ten posts.

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Specializes in Primary Care, Progressive Care.
Do you find it inappropriate and unprofessional for a charge nurse to describe a student nurse as the fat one to her instructor? This happened the other day where I work, and I felt very bad because the student heard her and was upset about it. There was an incident on the floor and our charge was trying to blame the student for it, even though they weren't on the floor at the time.

I really don't understand why some nurses hate working with students. I've always found them helpful, especially when it comes to ADLs and answering call lights. Our charge was angry at the time, but I still feel that it was wrong for her to describe the student like that, and to report her to her instructor after both I and the student explained that she was off the floor at the time.

This reminds me of our charge nurse who is known to be tactless at all times. Sometimes it makes me wonder if they ever learned anything from ethics, leadership, or therapeutic communication in nursing school. The term "the fat one" is insulting.... I wouldnt even use it outside of work. There are other ways to refer to someone other than that!

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Specializes in 15 years in ICU, 22 years in PACU.

I would Nevv..ev..evv..evver use the term "fat" as a discriptor. It's not hate speech or against the law but it's hurtful, tactless, rude, mean-spirited, insulting and unnecessary. Really best avoided. There are other kinder/gentler words to use if body habitus is really the issue. When I give a bedside report on my patient prior to transfer I will state "Pt has increased BMI, or "Bariatric patient". In social situations I have had pretty good response to "She's a little fluffy" And for my wife I reserve "I like a girl with curves"

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Specializes in Emergency Room.

I don't know ...perhaps something is wrong with me. However...

I dont give a rats ass if some called me fat, black, ugly, stupid, short, nappy-haired, buck-toothed, metal mouth, saggy-tits, ghetto, soul-less ginger or any other colorful words.

Seriously, are we still in elementary school??

I HAVE bigger crap to worry about besides opinions of others that have no meaning in my life. The rest is so petty and irrelevant.

I'm confident in myself and I don't need anyone else (besides my hubby) to validate my beauty or intelligence.

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Specializes in L&D.

I feel like it shouldn't have been said. Yes sometimes there are larger people and we do use descriptive words to describe them. I think a better word would have been "the larger girl with brown hair" or whatever...not the fat one. I think it's pretty rude and mean.

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