The Fat One

[Pink86]

Do you find it inappropriate and unprofessional for a charge nurse to describe a student nurse as the fat one to her instructor? This happened the other day where I work, and I felt very bad because the student heard her and was upset about it. There was an incident on the floor and our charge was trying to blame the student for it, even though they weren't on the floor at the time.

I really don't understand why some nurses hate working with students. I've always found them helpful, especially when it comes to ADLs and answering call lights. Our charge was angry at the time, but I still feel that it was wrong for her to describe the student like that, and to report her to her instructor after both I and the student explained that she was off the floor at the time.

[Emergent, RN]

I have heard of a young nurse NOT described as 'fat' or 'dumpy', but as "the rather matronly looking young lady." Now that I am older and have gained menopause weight, it offends me greatly that I am the one who looks 'matronly'. I used to be described as 'the tall girl with the black hair and bangs.' I hate feeling 'matronly'!!! As a matter of fact it is the very impetus I need to make a concerted effort to slim down!

How about them calling you "That old gal"? Or is 'older' more acceptable? Older sounds so much less insulting than old. Or describing a woman as the one with the mustache, or the one with the huge thighs! Oh, you know, the one with the fake boobs and the buck teeth? Oh right, that one!

[Farawyn]

Good Lord, NO! I was just saying that I found 'matronly' JUST as insulting!

But, but, but...then it motivated you to slim down!

[No Stars In My Eyes]

But, but, but...then it motivated you to slim down!

.....and, so?

[No Stars In My Eyes]

How about them calling you "That old gal"? Or is 'older' more acceptable? Older sounds so much less insulting than old. Or describing a woman as the one with the mustache, or the one with the huge thighs! Oh, you know, the one with the fake boobs and the buck teeth? Oh right, that one!

Oh, you know, "the one with all those TATTOOS!" or "The poor thing that stutters." Naw, none of those are very nice.

I wouldn't actually mind being referred to as 'that old gal' or 'the older one'. I am, after all, about to turn 66, and so many of my co-workers are much younger.

Thankfully, no one knows about the mustache....or the 'goatee', as I am quite diligent in keeping the hirsute-ness (also brought on by menopause) my own little secret!

[eroc]

Just so we can add it to the list of offensive descriptors….I get insulted when people refer to me as the nurse with big muscles.

It goes back to when I was much more muscular, and now that I am smaller it is a blow to my self esteem that people classify me as muscular, and not "jacked" anymore.

But i am going to try to understand it is the easiest descriptor of me that is accurate.

[caliotter3]

Agree that it should not have been said while the student was within earshot. And using the term "fat" as a descriptor is no different than using the person's skin color, unless it said with a "tone" to the voice that suggests a nasty predilection to discrimination. We all know the "tone". A wise person will not use such easy descriptors if they do not care to have people make reference to them, using another nasty descriptor.

[No Stars In My Eyes]

Just so we can add it to the list of offensive descriptors….I get insulted when people refer to me as the nurse with big muscles.

It goes back to when I was much more muscular, and now that I am smaller it is a blow to my self esteem that people classify me as muscular, and not "jacked" anymore.

But i am going to try to understand it is the easiest descriptor of me that is accurate.

At least they don't refer to you as "that puny guy who used to be so ripped"!

[lovinglife2015]

Agree that it should not have been said while the student was within earshot. And using the term "fat" as a descriptor is no different than using the person's skin color, unless it said with a "tone" to the voice that suggests a nasty predilection to discrimination. We all know the "tone". A wise person will not use such easy descriptors if they do not care to have people make reference to them, using another nasty descriptor.

"There goes Sally, the fat, white(or black, Asian, Latina, etc...), brown haired dumpy nurse with thick tortoise shell glasses wearing the purple scrubs."

[Twinmom06, ASN, APN]

While I agree with your overall point, calling someone the "N word" is blatantly discriminatory and deserves immediate termination. Using the word "fat" as a descriptor is insensitive, but doesn't rise to the level of termination worthy unless it's done repeatedly in a callous manner.

and that is because fat shaming is the last final frontier of "legal" discrimination. I'm heavy - 80 lbs lighter than I used to be but still in a "plus size" frame. I also feel that we as a society are too PC and that people get wadded up over nothing, but being a large person (especially a woman) is still fair game to many.

[lovinglife2015]

and that is because fat shaming is the last final frontier of "legal" discrimination. I'm heavy - 80 lbs lighter than I used to be but still in a "plus size" frame. I also feel that we as a society are too PC and that people get wadded up over nothing, but being a large person (especially a woman) is still fair game to many.

No, if "fat" is used as an insult in the workplace one should absolutely be reprimanded and even fired if it persists, however I would never equate describing someone as "fat" with the same 'weight' as the use of the "N word" or other racial epithets. They are not even in the same ballpark. Racial inequality should never be tolerated. During Jim Crow segregation a "fat" or "dumpy" white woman had more rights and opportunity than a fit, attractive black woman -or black man for that matter. That is still the case depending on whom you ask.

Shaming is annoying in general, so let's not bring race into it. Adipocytes don't discriminate.

[Angeljho, MSN, NP]

She should have just said obese. See what I just did there lol.

[BrandonLPN, LPN]

I think the term "PC" gets thrown around too much. I hate overly PC people as much as the next guy, but people confuse "being PC" with simply being polite. Nothing wrong with being polite.