The Fat One

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Do you find it inappropriate and unprofessional for a charge nurse to describe a student nurse as the fat one to her instructor? This happened the other day where I work, and I felt very bad because the student heard her and was upset about it. There was an incident on the floor and our charge was trying to blame the student for it, even though they weren't on the floor at the time.

I really don't understand why some nurses hate working with students. I've always found them helpful, especially when it comes to ADLs and answering call lights. Our charge was angry at the time, but I still feel that it was wrong for her to describe the student like that, and to report her to her instructor after both I and the student explained that she was off the floor at the time.

I saw the best thing the other day. It said "I have fat. Fat is not who I am." Basically, being fat is just one aspect of a person, not their defining quality in life.

Sadly, in our society, it is still acceptable to say "Jen, the fat one" when describing a person; yet most respectable people would not say "Jen, the retarded one" or "Jen, the "insert whatever racial/skin tone term" here" because society has taught us it's inappropriate to refer to people that way. As some who is fat, I try very hard NOT to refer to people as "Jen, the fat one" because I know how demeaning it is. If I'm describing someone I'd say, "you know, Jen, the 5 foot girl with dark curly hair, brown eyes, very quiet." If the person didn't get who Jen was, then I'd try to point her out discretely.

Yes, but sometimes too PC is "ugh" as well. I remember standing with a black nurse and a white nurse. The white nurse was trying to describe a black student to us: pretty, curly hair, red clogs, etc. until finally the black nurse said "Oh my God, is she BLACK? Just say it!" :D

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I'll "weigh in".

If anyone at work referred to me as The Fat One I would be super mad and embarrassed. I would probably say something to the person, so they would be super embarrassed.

You can refer to me as the Nurse with the Big Mouth.

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Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.

I had a PD patient who would always refer to one of her caregivers as "That fat girl". Every time she said it, I replied, "You mean the red-head?" It took a long while but she eventually picked up on it and began referring to her as "the red-headed girl".

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Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
"Dumpy" could indeed be viewed as offensive and unnecessary when giving the other descriptors such as "blonde, big glasses and hunter green scrubs." Why would you feel the need to call the woman dumpy, except to insult?
I didn't call anyone 'dumpy.' Rather, in a previous post I described a hypothetical situation that has come true many times during my life.

'Dumpy' is not insulting if it never reaches the ears of the person who is being described as 'dumpy.' Again, what a person doesn't know won't hurt them. We can tiptoe around the situation and say, "She's really short, stout, wide and about 100 pounds overweight." However, 'dumpy' captures it all in one word.

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If she'd have called the student nurse a n***** she'd have been fired on the spot.

I wonder what difference there really is in calling an obese person 'fat', in a society where you'd have to be blind and deaf to not know what a depersonalizing, demeaning and insulting label this is?

Just ponderings. I agree 'heavy set' is JUST as easy to say as 'fat', and at least in my case, it sure comes quicker to my lips than to point someone out by referring to them as 'fat'.

I don't agree that we can entirely let this nurse off the hook, whatever her circumstances, business, anxiety over some mistake a student made, whatever. It's really not difficult to be kind FIRST, unless your heart is full of unkindness . . . which I suspect is the case here. Otherwise, a different word would have popped out of her mouth than the WELL understood derogatory word "fat".

While I agree with your overall point, calling someone the "N word" is blatantly discriminatory and deserves immediate termination. Using the word "fat" as a descriptor is insensitive, but doesn't rise to the level of termination worthy unless it's done repeatedly in a callous manner.

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Specializes in ER.

You know what's amusing? Listening to an ultra-politically correct person try to point out the only black person in the room by describing their outfit, height, glasses, anything but the obvious. :laugh:

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Yes, if the charge nurse had said this to the instructor behind closed doors it would be different. The student in question cannot be offended by what she cannot hear. But it was said for all to hear in the thick of things.

Now, if this student is carrying on and letting this affect her clinical experience, I do agree she's overreacting. She has every right to feel offended, but needs to move on. She will likely be called worse than fat at some point in her nursing career.

And if I were the instructor, and even if this was said behind closed doors, I would still be a bit taken aback. I wouldn't make an issue of it or say anything about it, but I would definitely be thinking to myself Wow, that was pretty rude​.

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I didn't call anyone 'dumpy.' Rather, in a previous post I described a hypothetical situation that has come true many times during my life.

'Dumpy' is not insulting if it never reaches the ears of the person who is being described as 'dumpy.' Again, what a person doesn't know won't hurt them. We can tiptoe around the situation and say, "She's really short, stout, wide and about 100 pounds overweight." However, 'dumpy' captures it all in one word.

"Dumpy" is just as much an insult whether it's heard by the unintended ears or not. If someone were described as a racial epithet, it's still an insult whether they were in earshot or not.

I've actually never heard anyone be described as "dumpy" come to think of it, so I'm fairly certain it's an unnecessary descriptor in general conversation.

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Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
Even if they were behind closed doors, I find saying "the fat one" to be pretty tactless.

I would be taken aback by a nurse describing a student as "the fat one".

I might say "the heavy-set woman" or something if I was struggling to describe an individual. I realize that's just a euphemism for saying the same thing, but saying "the fat one" just seems like you're deliberately trying to be mean.

Agree. In the previous example, describing the color of the scrubs would have been sufficient. Even using hair (or lack of hair) would be OK. But saying someone is a "dumpy blonde" is just tactless.

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Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.

I have heard of a young nurse NOT described as 'fat' or 'dumpy', but as "the rather matronly looking young lady." Now that I am older and have gained menopause weight, it offends me greatly that I am the one who looks 'matronly'. I used to be described as 'the tall girl with the black hair and bangs.' I hate feeling 'matronly'!!! As a matter of fact it is the very impetus I need to make a concerted effort to slim down!

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I have heard of a young nurse NOT described as 'fat' or 'dumpy', but as "the rather matronly looking young lady." Now that I am older and have gained menopause weight, it offends me greatly that I am the one who looks 'matronly'. I used to be described as 'the tall girl with the black hair and bangs.' I hate feeling 'matronly'!!! As a matter of fact it is the very impetus I need to make a concerted effort to slim down!

So, dumpy, fat and matronly are all good things to say?! :blink:

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Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.
So, dumpy, fat and matronly are all good things to say?! :blink:

Good Lord, NO! I was just saying that I found 'matronly' JUST as insulting!

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