The Fat One

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Do you find it inappropriate and unprofessional for a charge nurse to describe a student nurse as the fat one to her instructor? This happened the other day where I work, and I felt very bad because the student heard her and was upset about it. There was an incident on the floor and our charge was trying to blame the student for it, even though they weren't on the floor at the time.

I really don't understand why some nurses hate working with students. I've always found them helpful, especially when it comes to ADLs and answering call lights. Our charge was angry at the time, but I still feel that it was wrong for her to describe the student like that, and to report her to her instructor after both I and the student explained that she was off the floor at the time.

Specializes in CVICU.
and that is because fat shaming is the last final frontier of "legal" discrimination. I'm heavy - 80 lbs lighter than I used to be but still in a "plus size" frame. I also feel that we as a society are too PC and that people get wadded up over nothing, but being a large person (especially a woman) is still fair game to many.

It isn't the last legal 'shaming'. Try being a bodybuilder, people absolutely think it is okay to openly state how gross looking it is to them. And it is completely accepted to discourage people of a high level of fitness and state they are gross and too fit. I've had several people point, stare, and even perfect strangers walk up and say something negative. (Mostly over weight people…man I tell you sometimes I wanted to ask them exactly what their definition of gross is, as they are spilling out of their clothes)

The world is a crazy place, I tell ya.

I could care less, but I think it is quite interesting the double standards we have in our society. Not everyone is a victim…even though most people try to be one when it suits them.

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I love watching my American classmates tying themselves up in knots trying to describe me without being "politically incorrect." I'm black. But I'm Hispanic (born in the Dominican Republic, live in Puerto Rico). Am I African American? Nope. Am I Hispanic? I don't look like Ruben Blades or Cesar Chávez, so how can I be Hispanic to them? I've got some Taíno blood too, but the cheekbones and straight black hair don't make me Native American. In trying to hard not to stereotype, they wind up being downright ludicrous.

You Americans are so hilariously sensitive. "¡Oye, negrito!" is how my friends and family yell after me.

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Specializes in ER.

Personally, my descriptive language is always "heavier", as in "Have you seen that nursing student? You know, the heavier one?"

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Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.
I love watching my American classmates tying themselves up in knots trying to describe me without being "politically incorrect." I'm black. But I'm Hispanic (born in the Dominican Republic, live in Puerto Rico). Am I African American? Nope. Am I Hispanic? I don't look like Ruben Blades or Cesar Chávez, so how can I be Hispanic to them? I've got some Taíno blood too, but the cheekbones and straight black hair don't make me Native American. In trying to hard not to stereotype, they wind up being downright ludicrous.

You Americans are so hilariously sensitive. "¡Oye, negrito!" is how my friends and family yell after me.

You are right! I saw an article in the newspaper a week or two ago that the American students voted to take down the American flag in the student union at some University because they didn't want to 'offend' some of the students who came from places where the American flag once represented 'oppression'. ....HEH? If they were offended, why would they be at a University in America? And I'll just bet those students who started the campaign to remove the flag are just patting themselves on the back right now for being so 'inclusive' and understanding. Pppffftttt! That's just nuts!

Regarding people trying to describe you, are you at least kind enough to have an accent, so they can call you 'The dark guy with the accent:lol2:' ?

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Specializes in Mental Health Nursing.
I love watching my American classmates tying themselves up in knots trying to describe me without being "politically incorrect." I'm black. But I'm Hispanic (born in the Dominican Republic, live in Puerto Rico). Am I African American? Nope. Am I Hispanic? I don't look like Ruben Blades or Cesar Chávez, so how can I be Hispanic to them? I've got some Taíno blood too, but the cheekbones and straight black hair don't make me Native American. In trying to hard not to stereotype, they wind up being downright ludicrous.

You Americans are so hilariously sensitive. "¡Oye, negrito!" is how my friends and family yell after me.

If I'm trying to describe you, and you don't have any physical characteristics that clearly stand out, I would say "The black, Spanish guy."

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You are right! I saw an article in the newspaper a week or two ago that the American students voted to take down the American flag in the student union at some University because they didn't want to 'offend' some of the students who came from places where the American flag once represented 'oppression'. ....HEH? If they were offended, why would they be at a University in America? And I'll just bet those students who started the campaign to remove the flag are just patting themselves on the back right now for being so 'inclusive' and understanding. Pppffftttt! That's just nuts!

Regarding people trying to describe you, are you at least kind enough to have an accent, so they can call you 'The dark guy with the accent:lol2:' ?

Jess, I doo haff a very strong accent in English, and no, I am not at all sensitive about it. I am just tickled peenk that I wass able to learn it at all!

Seriously, maybe we Dominiricans are just more laid back or something. I said in another thread that when I decided to go to nursing school, my first step was to learn English. It wasn't easy, but look at me now! I am PROUD to be a Spanish speaker. I am PROUD to have a green card. I am PROUD that I am working on getting my American citizenship. When I take that oath, I will be PROUD to be an American. Will that make me any less what I am? Not at all.

I think Americans, especially young, inexperienced ones, project the politically correct ideas they have out to the rest of the world. The truth is that without meaning to, they show a bias toward "minorities" that actually is condescending. We don't need your special consideration, thank you very much. Just don't get all weird when we tease you about turning red as a lobster on the beach. Yes, you're white. No, there's nothing wrong with that. Here, need some sunblock?

People are just too sensitive.

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I'm also kind of wondering if this could be a cultural difference. I have a friend who knew a lot of exchange students. One was a male from the middle East, I forget where exactly. He just did not get that in US culture, it is not okay to call people fat. He would regularly tell my friend she really needed to lose weight (she didn't). He didn't understand the emotional aspect of it and that it's considered to be a terrible insult here. To him it was like saying "wow, your eyes are very blue" or at the very worst "you're pretty short".

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I despise the word "Fat". She could have easily used another charecteristic such as hair color, eye color, etc.

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As a fellow fat American, I'd rather be called "the fat one" than "the obese one," or...."the black one" (cringe) although I know the last one has been used.

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I love watching my American classmates tying themselves up in knots trying to describe me without being "politically incorrect." I'm black. But I'm Hispanic (born in the Dominican Republic, live in Puerto Rico). Am I African American? Nope. Am I Hispanic? I don't look like Ruben Blades or Cesar Chávez, so how can I be Hispanic to them? I've got some Taíno blood too, but the cheekbones and straight black hair don't make me Native American. In trying to hard not to stereotype, they wind up being downright ludicrous.

You Americans are so hilariously sensitive. "¡Oye, negrito!" is how my friends and family yell after me.

Me and you both. I'm also Dominican by blood, although born in Puerto Rico, but I look African American (especially when I get box braids) I'm used to "morena" and "negrita" being terms of endearment. I'm fluent in Spanish but speak English perfectly without an accent to the point where I sound "white" lol.

So yeah to me people can be overly sensitive. To me, when there is no malice or derogatory intent, I have no problem with people referring to me as the black one, especially if they know nothing else about me.

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Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.
I'm also kind of wondering if this could be a cultural difference. I have a friend who knew a lot of exchange students. One was a male from the middle East, I forget where exactly. He just did not get that in US culture, it is not okay to call people fat. He would regularly tell my friend she really needed to lose weight (she didn't). He didn't understand the emotional aspect of it and that it's considered to be a terrible insult here. To him it was like saying "wow, your eyes are very blue" or at the very worst "you're pretty short".

Well, SURE it's a cultural difference! Wonder no more!

Even within the USA, between the North and South it occurs:

All my in-laws have a 'secret' grudge against me because I am not a Southern woman who waits on her man hand and foot. They are just "nice as pie" to my face, but talk about me behind my back, I'm a terrible housekeeper and a terrible wife.

That I was raised in the North in a family where everybody pitched in and did their part? Doesn't even occur to them that just because I was raised differently doesn't mean I am a bad person.

Hubby isn't unhappy with our life together and he has told them they are worrying unnecessarily about unimportant things.

Me? I just let it roll right off my back, because we have been married 25 years and our marriage works well for the both of us despite the fact that we are "an inter-cultural couple."

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Me and you both. I'm also Dominican by blood, although born in Puerto Rico, but I look African American (especially when I get box braids) I'm used to "morena" and "negrita" being terms of endearment. I'm fluent in Spanish but speak English perfectly without an accent to the point where I sound "white" lol.

So yeah to me people can be overly sensitive. To me, when there is no malice or derogatory intent, I have no problem with people referring to me as the black one, especially if they know nothing else about me.

But if they knew nothing else about you, they may not know that you wouldn't be offended.

I know what you are saying, kind of. My friends at work say that white people who go out of the way NOT to mention race are almost as bad as the bigots (ALMOST) My black American friends call themselves Black, not African American, but my black NON American friends will always say, I'm Dominican, I'm Haitian, I'm Nigerian, etc.

Anyhoo. I'm White. And NOT fat.

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