The Fat One

[Pink86]

Do you find it inappropriate and unprofessional for a charge nurse to describe a student nurse as the fat one to her instructor? This happened the other day where I work, and I felt very bad because the student heard her and was upset about it. There was an incident on the floor and our charge was trying to blame the student for it, even though they weren't on the floor at the time.

I really don't understand why some nurses hate working with students. I've always found them helpful, especially when it comes to ADLs and answering call lights. Our charge was angry at the time, but I still feel that it was wrong for her to describe the student like that, and to report her to her instructor after both I and the student explained that she was off the floor at the time.

[annie.rn]

Lots have already said it but calling the student "the fat one" was pretty hideous. If I was that student I'd feel terrible.

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

Describing someone as fat is hurtful. It doesn't matter if they are or not.

I still stand by my belief that the 'fat' comment should not have been said within an earshot of the student or anyone else. It should have been a private conversation. What people don't know won't hurt them.

The student wouldn't have had her feelings hurt if the blunt charge nurse had never used the 'fat' descriptor in her presence. Comments cannot offend if the 'offender' is keeping the chat behind closed doors and away from the ears of the 'offendonista.'

With regard to the race issue, I'm black. The 'African-American' label has seven syllables and takes too long to say, whereas 'black' is one syllable and conveys the message more swiftly.

[mydogscute]

People are oversensitive these days. My BMI is 37. If I heard someone say "the fat one" I probably would have said "You must be talking about me...what's up?"

[Farawyn]

People are oversensitive these days. My BMI is 37. If I heard someone say "the fat one" I probably would have said "You must be talking about me...what's up?"

Good for you. Not everyone has such a thick skin, especially about weight. Ad no, "thick skin" was not a euphemism for "fat"!

That being said, one day my husband said "Howszitgoing Chubby?" and I answered him. He was talking to the dog.

[eroc]

Just image if she said the 'thin' one…..how inappropriate to use accurate descriptors.

[caseyuptonurse]

I can understand someone using the description "fat" when there is no other way to describe someone's appearance. But this should have been done behind closed doors. I've had patients call me the "fat" nurse when they can't remember my name. I don't mind because I've been this size most of my life and I don't consider myself fat, but I am heavier and I am not offended when the description is used by a patient. BUT if I had a charge nurse call me fat and in front of my instructor with me hearing it I would be humiliated. I agree that this should have been a behind closed doors discussion. This charge nurse obviously did not care about hurting the student. And sometimes I don't think people realize how hurtful the comments they make are especially in a situation like that. I had a teacher in elementary school giving out candy and he told me I shouldn't have any because I was overweight, in front of the entire class. I will never forget the embarrassment of that situation. Like I said the charge nurse should have said this all behind doors, even if no descriptors were used.

[YuHiroRN, BSN]

At the end of the day, the take home should be that the charge nurse should have taken the instructor to the side and expressed her concerns in private, NOT in earshot of the student. That is the failings of a good leader, not what choice of descriptors she used (though "the fat one" shows just as much lack in professionalism...).

[empatheticRN]

That is very mean and unprofessional. If she can do this to a student , then I have no doubt that she would use the same description with a patient. I find it funny that she can remember that the student is 'the fat one' but blames the wrong person for the offense. In addition many aren't aware that a part of a nursing students' tuition/clinical fee is paid to these hospitals and the least the staff can do is be polite to them.

[meanmaryjean, DNP, RN]

I'm fat. I own it. I'm also 5"0'. We have another nurse on my unit with the same first name who is close to 6" tall, and not fat. When I'm referred to as the 'short,fat one' I don't get my panties in a wad. It is what it is.

I'm also the oldest (by a decade) nurse on our unit. I've been referred to as 'old'. I also own that.

[BrandonLPN, LPN]

I understand that we all use less than flattering descriptors when trying to describe someone. I do it, we all do it. But saying "the fat one" in the middle of the nursing station is just crude and unnecessary.

I maintain the she should have said something along the lines of "the heavy-set one". I don't think that's being PC or over-sensitive. I think that's just basic politeness and social tact.

[greenerpastures]

I saw the best thing the other day. It said "I have fat. Fat is not who I am." Basically, being fat is just one aspect of a person, not their defining quality in life.

Sadly, in our society, it is still acceptable to say "Jen, the fat one" when describing a person; yet most respectable people would not say "Jen, the retarded one" or "Jen, the "insert whatever racial/skin tone term" here" because society has taught us it's inappropriate to refer to people that way. As some who is fat, I try very hard NOT to refer to people as "Jen, the fat one" because I know how demeaning it is. If I'm describing someone I'd say, "you know, Jen, the 5 foot girl with dark curly hair, brown eyes, very quiet." If the person didn't get who Jen was, then I'd try to point her out discretely.

[lovinglife2015]

Here's my unorthodox response...it shouldn't have been said within an earshot of the student or anyone else. This sounds like a conversation between the charge nurse and the instructor that needed to be private and behind closed doors.

When people forget or do not know someone's name, or cannot formulate a mental picture of the person when his/her name is mentioned, it is common to use descriptors related to the person's appearance. These descriptors may or may not be unflattering, but they are not meant for the ears of the person who is being described.

For instance, if a case manager instructs me to give paperwork to the new unit clerk named Lily and the new marketer named Stan, and I tell her do not know who Lily or Stan are, the case manager might say: "Lily is the dumpy blonde who is wearing big glasses and hunter green scrubs, and Mike is the tall skinny black guy with the bald head."

In my aforementioned scenarios the case manager is not purposely attempting to offend anyone, and I see no problems with describing someone as 'fat' or 'skinny' as long as it is not within an earshot of everyone.

"Dumpy" could indeed be viewed as offensive and unnecessary when giving the other descriptors such as "blonde, big glasses and hunter green scrubs." Why would you feel the need to call the woman dumpy, except to insult?