Got to thinking about this one today, and was reminded of it when I read another thread on here...what's teh dumbest thing you've ever heard in nursing, as an explanation for a malady?
For example, the one that sticks out for me is one that I heard as a new nurse, many moons ago. I was doing an assessment on a patient, and a family member of said patient had her sone with her, who was profoundly mentally and physically handicapped. Of course, I would have never presumed to ask the nature of his complaint, but she was only too happy to volunteer it.
"When he was born, the nurse in the room had long fingernails and she scratched his head. That's why he's like this. It's all her fault. We tried to sue her, but the judge threw out the case."
I was stunned, to say the least, and didn't challenge it as hogwash outright, but I did ask,
"Did she puncture his scalp with her nails?"
"No, she just scratched him on the head. It didn't show, but she did it."
You can bet money I was VERY thorough with that assessment. Heaven forbid the lady get staph or some other dread condition because my hair or eyelashes were too long.
Anyone else ever heard a completely absurd reasoning for someone's ailments?
Ever look at people in the grocery store line, and assess their veins?
I took my littlest stepson to get football cleats a few weeks ago. The guy helping us told him which shoes he needed, telling him "I could tell my watching you walk you have a low arch". He told me how people think he is weird because that is the first thing he notices on people. I had to laugh and tell him I had been assessing the veins in his arms and got excited because they were so purty. He said "omg, you are a nurse aren't you? you guys are soooo wierd!"
I read a recent post on AN where the poster stated that she was going to insist that her 6 month old get oral benzodiazapines before his immunizations to reduce his pain and avoid traumatizing him.
didn't anyone warn her about not introducing foreign objects (especially fingers) into her lady parts? you know, germs and all if she sromed.
sex is perfectly fine during a normal pregnancy. acog states that sexual activity during pregnancy is safe for most women right up until labor, unless there is a specific contraindication. so if a member isn't going to cause any harm, certainly her own finger won't.
There is a woman who lives in our community. She has some sort of head tremor and her eyes roll around. I understand this is a condition she's had since childhood. The older folks in the area say she is like that because her mother looked at a rabid owl when she was pregnant. They really believe it, too.
Here is my FAVORITE! There is a woman who was a few years ahead of me in school. Her mother (who is white) was... how you say... jumping the fence and the girl came out half black. In order to explain this phenomenon, she and her mother tell EVERYONE that when she was a baby, they left her in the incubator too long and burned her. Very nice.
Many years ago, before I was a RN, I worked as a nursing assistant.
I was helping the RN settle a new, young, married and heavily pregnant patient into the ward. This girl was as white as the sheet she was lying under, and upon questioning her, the RN ascertained that this girl was from an extremely strict religious family (I don't remember the religion). Anyway the RN was going through the birth procedure/s with this girl who said she knew that the baby would come out of her bottom when she went to have a poo. No-one had apparently gone through the actual anatomy and mechanics of what would happen when giving birth. It was all very much 'hush, hush' and learn as you go along sort of thing. In her religion, you did NOT talk about sex, or babies etc - it was absolutely taboo (I actually remember her saying that but she would not use the words 'sex' or anything like that).
Well, me and this RN just looked aghast at each other, and then we went and got our OB models and books etc, and gently and patiently explained what would happen when she gave birth. And this poor, young thing just EXPLODED into tears and wailing because she didn't want the baby to come out of her lady parts (she didn't even know what a lady parts WAS). She had been so sheltered, she was never told re her 'private parts' as she called them. God knows what she thought was happening when she was finally deflowered by her husband. She honestly and truly believed that when she had a big poo, that the baby would come out her back passage and that would be that. She was absolutely and truly terrified by the whole thought of the birth process, a more scared girl on the verge of womanhood, I have never seen to this day.
I felt really, really sorry for her and often wondered what happened after she had the baby, and if she coped at all. Maybe she went up to her hubby and smacked him across the face for getting her pregnant!
I told a gf of mine this story many years later when she was studying for her bachelor and who wanted to do midwifery. She replied: 'I would have told her the baby is coming out the same passage it went into!' I had to laugh at that!
Awwww! That's sad...
While oral sex was not required, home care nurses helping para/quad patients here were told that part of their expected duties may be helping their patients with sexual needs, including assisting with masturbation (helping patient place hands correctly) or sex with a partner.
That edict didn't last very long.
I'm not sure if I believe that whole oral sex thing but the masterbation would be... awkward at best.
My grandmother said it was from peeing on the side of the road, not the middle. And pimples on your tongue were caused by telling a lie.
Lie bumps!
I managed to get necrotizing fasciitis from a dental visit. I had a drainage tube trying to empty a seroma on my leg and it was time for my annual dental check-up. They'd asked if I'd had surgery, but I said no, since the drainage tube was just done via ultrasound. I'd told the hygienist about it and she said there shouldn't be a problem.
A few days later, I started to develop redness and swelling to the leg. They pulled out the tube and put me on abx for cellulitis. Three or four days after that, my shin and calf started turning black. Rush into ER, admitted, sent to the OR, "Multiple necrotic areas along fat and fascia".
Causative agent? Strep Viridans-oral bacteria.
Oh my! That is scary!
Had a PCT (one trained and certified even) tell me that "it's going to be nice to have all the blood from her period go into the catheter bag so we don't have to clean it up" upon hearing that a patient was getting a Foley. I had to explain about the two different holes....she had no idea! And this was a person that was technically technically allowed to insert catheters! So scary!
I had a classmate who, at nearly 30 years old, had no idea that there were 2 openings down there and kept insisting that she pees out of her lady parts. She said she could tell by the way it feels when she pees. I commented to her that if there was only one opening, she wouldn't be able to pee while wearing a tampon. According to her, she always holds her pee whenever she has a tampon in so she didn't know whether she could pee or not...
Yep! A lot of Mexican-Americans use folk medicine to explain and sometimes cure ailments. It's really interesting. My husband had to do a project in nursing school about a cultural group, and his group was Mexican-Americans. I read all the articles. (:
I am also getting ready to do a project about Mexican culture.
My sister-in-law (an LPN) once stated that her grandson could only have either boys or girls when he grew up....because he only had 1 testicle!!
I have heard that one a million times. Along with "I can only make boys/girls because my doctor said so".
in the nicu had a baby with anencephalocele (missing large parts of the scalp & skull leaving the brain exposed). The baby was not going to survive but mom wanted us to "do everything" but mom wouldn't visit...anyways both mom and baby tested positive for cocaine at birth. Mom denied cocaine and all other drug/alcohol abuse during her pregnancy stating that they both tested positive because of the father! (you know, his cocaine infused sperm just had that much of an effect!)
How sad...
The funniest one I have heard lately was from the wife of a duo who mean well, and who I'm sure are really sweet..but God bless, they are annoying! Every time they come in, it's something. Time before, their daughter was being bullied at school (horrible, but not really an issue for your doc to address), and the last time, the chief complaint was that the wife had found a second-uncle or some such relation dead in the bathtub (again, horrible, but nothing to do).
I always have to be "rescued" by staff with these two, because they will NOT shut up. Ever. This time was no different, the med assistant practically had to drag me from the room. The wife just KEPT on talking, about her flowers, about the heat, about who was up in the next election...and finally, as we get them ushered to the door, she looks at me and goes...
"Angelfire, do you think Daddy's (her hubby) blood pressure is causing my anxiety?"
I was nice and shook my head.
But as soon as they left, the med assistant and I said at the same time,
"No, but I bet your 'anxiety' is causing Daddy's high blood pressure."
Had a trauma last night... 19 year old good looking female. She was boarded, collared with RLE in hare's traction. Asked her if she had any allergies and she said no. In passing, the medic told me she said she had an allergy to latex. I ask her if she's allergic to latex and she yells "ONLY IN MY MOUTH!" We all kind of just looked at each other. She verified her oral latex allergy at least 4 more times throughout the night.
Specializes in Medsurg/ICU, Mental Health, Home Health.
Had a trauma last night... 19 year old good looking female. She was boarded, collared with RLE in hare's traction. Asked her if she had any allergies and she said no. In passing, the medic told me she said she had an allergy to latex. I ask her if she's allergic to latex and she yells "ONLY IN MY MOUTH!" We all kind of just looked at each other. She verified her oral latex allergy at least 4 more times throughout the night.
She knows this because of her dentist's gloved hands in her mouth, right?
Had a trauma last night... 19 year old good looking female. She was boarded, collared with RLE in hare's traction. Asked her if she had any allergies and she said no. In passing, the medic told me she said she had an allergy to latex. I ask her if she's allergic to latex and she yells "ONLY IN MY MOUTH!" We all kind of just looked at each other. She verified her oral latex allergy at least 4 more times throughout the night.
She was told she had this allergy by her boyfriend, I assume?
I have to add this story, I couldn't find a more appropriate spot to put it, so here it goes
This was a few years ago during clinical rotations in my last semester of class. I was taking care of a 45 year old quadraplegic pt who had a severe motorcycle accident 20 years prior. He was in the hospital for a stage 3 pressure ulcer, and had been there for about a week.
The hospital had just hired a new Hospitalist, fresh out of residency. This Hospitalist was assigned that patient for the day, and he was making his rounds as I was in the room after finishing a bed bath. In walks Dr. K to see pt:
Dr K: "Hi how are you? How are you feeling today?"
Pt: ".....Fine"
bla bla bla, small talk, bla bla - Dr. K starts his assessment:
Dr. K: "Your lungs sound coorifice, have you been getting out of bed?"
(Me in corner doing all I can not to laugh)
Pt: No, I haven't really had the time
(I couldn't hold it in, I start laughing a little. Dr. K glares at me)
Dr. K: You really need to be getting out of bed because X, Y, Z. Ok, I want to look at something, I need you to move your legs
(The pt and I both glare at the Dr)
Dr. K: Move your legs Mr. X, I need you to bring your leg up
(The pt glares at him)
Dr. K: (to me) why won't he move his legs?
Me: He's paralyzed from the neck down
Dr. K: When did that happen!?
Me: 20 years ago.
Dr. K: Oh. (Note the lack of apology from Dr. to Pt)
When the Dr. left the room, the pt and I broke out in laughter. The pt was very good humored about the situation, and even said he could never be a nurse if he had to put up with people like that all day
Do the doctors even LOOK at the charts before coming in the room?
That experience will stick with me all my life, I still chuckle about it from time to time
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southernbeegirl, BSN, RN
903 Posts
I took my littlest stepson to get football cleats a few weeks ago. The guy helping us told him which shoes he needed, telling him "I could tell my watching you walk you have a low arch". He told me how people think he is weird because that is the first thing he notices on people. I had to laugh and tell him I had been assessing the veins in his arms and got excited because they were so purty. He said "omg, you are a nurse aren't you? you guys are soooo wierd!"