The dumbest thing you've ever heard...

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Specializes in med-surg, psych, ER, school nurse-CRNP.

Got to thinking about this one today, and was reminded of it when I read another thread on here...what's teh dumbest thing you've ever heard in nursing, as an explanation for a malady?

For example, the one that sticks out for me is one that I heard as a new nurse, many moons ago. I was doing an assessment on a patient, and a family member of said patient had her sone with her, who was profoundly mentally and physically handicapped. Of course, I would have never presumed to ask the nature of his complaint, but she was only too happy to volunteer it.

"When he was born, the nurse in the room had long fingernails and she scratched his head. That's why he's like this. It's all her fault. We tried to sue her, but the judge threw out the case."

I was stunned, to say the least, and didn't challenge it as hogwash outright, but I did ask,

"Did she puncture his scalp with her nails?"

"No, she just scratched him on the head. It didn't show, but she did it."

You can bet money I was VERY thorough with that assessment. Heaven forbid the lady get staph or some other dread condition because my hair or eyelashes were too long.

Anyone else ever heard a completely absurd reasoning for someone's ailments?

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Got to thinking about this one today, and was reminded of it when I read another thread on here...what's teh dumbest thing you've ever heard in nursing, as an explanation for a malady?

For example, the one that sticks out for me is one that I heard as a new nurse, many moons ago. I was doing an assessment on a patient, and a family member of said patient had her sone with her, who was profoundly mentally and physically handicapped. Of course, I would have never presumed to ask the nature of his complaint, but she was only too happy to volunteer it.

"When he was born, the nurse in the room had long fingernails and she scratched his head. That's why he's like this. It's all her fault. We tried to sue her, but the judge threw out the case."

I was stunned, to say the least, and didn't challenge it as hogwash outright, but I did ask,

"Did she puncture his scalp with her nails?"

"No, she just scratched him on the head. It didn't show, but she did it."

You can bet money I was VERY thorough with that assessment. Heaven forbid the lady get staph or some other dread condition because my hair or eyelashes were too long.

Anyone else ever heard a completely absurd reasoning for someone's ailments?

:yeah::lol2::bugeyes::rotfl:

My favorite from my working years was actually my first hospital job....a CT clearly showed a bullet in 'mom's' head...the family said she'd never been shot (who's covering for whom????- :D)...said she was in a coma for anything but that (which may have been partially true- there was no open entrance wound)...it couldn't have HELPED her any !! Good thing they didn't have MRIs yet...

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Specializes in ICU, Telemetry, Neuro, Ortho, Med/Surg.

I guess this is more amusing than just dumb. It was an elderly man, but alert and oriented...he told me "every time you put that oxygen in my nose right, I have to sh--". I explained to him it had nothing to do with his bowels, but he repeated it several times convinced that the oxygen tubing was making him have bowel movements. :lol2:

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Official Latin term for some such individuals..... 'dingus batticus'...... :D

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Specializes in med-surg, psych, ER, school nurse-CRNP.

Bwahahahahaha! I just woke up the dog! Hee!

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Bwahahahahaha! I just woke up the dog! Hee!

My dog says she's to tell your dog I'm sorry :D

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Specializes in med-surg, psych, ER, school nurse-CRNP.

No worries, she's already back to sleep.

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Specializes in med-surg, psych, ER, school nurse-CRNP.

Then there was the patient who was angling for an increase in her nerve meds who told me that she had PTSD. Now, knowing that this diagnosis is nothing to laugh about, I asked what she had been through to acquire such a horrible affliction.

"There was a bad wreck on the mountain last week."

"Oh, my, and you witnessed it?"

"No, but my friend did, and she told me all about it...it was horrible!"

:icon_roll

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well, at one time, I worked on L & D, got a phone call in the middle of the night, a lady called and stated she was 23 weeks (??) and said her cervix was dilated, I was thinking which dr told her that and then sent her home..... I asked her why she thought her cervix was dilated she said "cuz I stuck my finger up in there and I could feel it!!".... I was flabergasted (sp).. hadn't never heard that one before...........

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Then there was the patient who was angling for an increase in her nerve meds who told me that she had PTSD. Now, knowing that this diagnosis is nothing to laugh about, I asked what she had been through to acquire such a horrible affliction.

"There was a bad wreck on the mountain last week."

"Oh, my, and you witnessed it?"

"No, but my friend did, and she told me all about it...it was horrible!"

:icon_roll

Oy vey :D Nothing like a little "sympathy anxiety"...

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well, at one time, I worked on L & D, got a phone call in the middle of the night, a lady called and stated she was 23 weeks (??) and said her cervix was dilated, I was thinking which dr told her that and then sent her home..... I asked her why she thought her cervix was dilated she said "cuz I stuck my finger up in there and I could feel it!!".... I was flabergasted (sp).. hadn't never heard that one before...........

I'm impressed she could finagle a position to get her hand that far UP!!! :D

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Specializes in Med Surg.

Had a phone call one night from a guy who said he had been in our ER the evening before for a UTI. They gave him a prescription for abx but he wasn't any better yet. Asked how many of the pills he had taken so far and he said one. When did he take it? Thirty minutes ago.

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