Got to thinking about this one today, and was reminded of it when I read another thread on here...what's teh dumbest thing you've ever heard in nursing, as an explanation for a malady?
For example, the one that sticks out for me is one that I heard as a new nurse, many moons ago. I was doing an assessment on a patient, and a family member of said patient had her sone with her, who was profoundly mentally and physically handicapped. Of course, I would have never presumed to ask the nature of his complaint, but she was only too happy to volunteer it.
"When he was born, the nurse in the room had long fingernails and she scratched his head. That's why he's like this. It's all her fault. We tried to sue her, but the judge threw out the case."
I was stunned, to say the least, and didn't challenge it as hogwash outright, but I did ask,
"Did she puncture his scalp with her nails?"
"No, she just scratched him on the head. It didn't show, but she did it."
You can bet money I was VERY thorough with that assessment. Heaven forbid the lady get staph or some other dread condition because my hair or eyelashes were too long.
Anyone else ever heard a completely absurd reasoning for someone's ailments?
Specializes in med-surg, psych, ER, school nurse-CRNP.
Had another one come in yesterday, who's almost, but not quite as bad as "Mama" and "Daddy". (See previous posts for the one about those two).
She launches into her usual tirade about all her ailments, and how she's just hanging on by sheer willpower, as I'm writing her refills, and then starts to regale me with her latest trip to the ER.
"Angelfire, I tell you, it was AWFUL! I tripped and I fell."
"Mmm-hmm. And what happened?"
She pushes up her eyelid to demonstrate...."I tore my WHOLE femur!"
I do precertifications for insurance companies...when the patient calls in (instead of the doctor's office) to start the case it often goes like this...
"Good morning, this is diva, may I help you?"
"Um, yes, my dr told me I need one of them colonotomies"..............................
"Do you mean, a screening colonoscopy?"
"Uh, yea, that's what I said, I need a colonostomy...on account of I am 55 and I aint' never had one before and my daddy had that colon cancer and they took his insides out but it didn't do any good because he died anyways...so I guess I need one, at least that's what my doctor says.."
"Okay....(sigh)...I will be glad to start the file..."
So first, confession time. When I got my first period I asked my mom how I was supposed to pee with a tampon in. She was horrified, as she was very open with us and I did (hand to god) know about the difference between a lady parts and a urethra, and even the correct names. I guess the *trauma* of it all got me flustered. I felt dumb as soon as it came out of my mouth, so I can see how people who should, and maybe do know better can slip up.
Ok, now for the dumb.
Middle aged patient, G lots, P lots-1, 9ish weeks:
"I vomit at least once every morning, and when I do amniotic fluid comes out"
Triage nurse:
"You mean in the vomit?"
Patient: (answering like she is speaking to a first grader)
"Nooooooooo, from DOWN THERE"
Triage nurse:
"Why do you think it's amniotic fluid"
Patient:
"Well you tell me. What else could it POSSIBLY be???"
Me:
"Is it maybe urine?"
Patient: "NO!!"
It was urine.
My husband is completely convinced that he cannot father boys. "No one I have ever known who worked "specific field job" has ever had a boy, we all nuked our balls, and now we can only make girls." The man has an advanced degree.
It's not for bleeding that they add epi to local lido injections. Without the vasoconstriction the lido is absorbed and metabolized almost instantly. You may as well not have any local.
A patient who had been harmed by a preventable trauma years earlier (due to parental negligence) , with resulting brain damage. Patient was rushed to our hospital and their life was saved. We get this patient every so often. The parents claim that the reason the child is brain damaged is because of all the toxic drugs that were given to them in PICU. And their naturopathic doctor says those meds are now trapped in the patient's brain but seeping out slowly and will eventually come all the way out, at which time the patient will recover. But they bring their child to this same hospital for treatment (antibiotics usually, for PNA), and because we continue to poison the child, there are now more toxins being put in their brain by the antibiotics. Talk about poor coping and serious denial.
My husband is completely convinced that he cannot father boys. "No one I have ever known who worked "specific field job" has ever had a boy, we all nuked our balls, and now we can only make girls." The man has an advanced degree.
Actually I read a study once that indicated that men that worked around certain chemicals or in situations where the temperature was higher than normal (think boiler rooms etc) will father more girls than boys because boy sperm are more fragile and smaller than girl sperm which are larger, heavier and heartier...not saying they'll NEVER have boys but the likelihood of having a girl is higher
Actually I read a study once that indicated that men that worked around certain chemicals or in situations where the temperature was higher than normal (think boiler rooms etc) will father more girls than boys because boy sperm are more fragile and smaller than girl sperm which are larger heavier and heartier...not saying they'll NEVER have boys but the likelihood of having a girl is higher[/quote']
Well, I guess I have yet to prove him wrong . Keep in mind this was 10 years ago that he worked said job, I feel it is unlikely that he is incapable of making male sperm to this day, lol, but he is convinced.
. Keep in mind this was 10 years ago that he worked said job, I feel it is unlikely that he is incapable of making male sperm to this day, lol, but he is convinced.
AngelfireRN, MSN, RN, APRN
2 Articles; 1,291 Posts
Had another one come in yesterday, who's almost, but not quite as bad as "Mama" and "Daddy". (See previous posts for the one about those two).
She launches into her usual tirade about all her ailments, and how she's just hanging on by sheer willpower, as I'm writing her refills, and then starts to regale me with her latest trip to the ER.
"Angelfire, I tell you, it was AWFUL! I tripped and I fell."
"Mmm-hmm. And what happened?"
She pushes up her eyelid to demonstrate...."I tore my WHOLE femur!"
Oh, the humanity.