Got to thinking about this one today, and was reminded of it when I read another thread on here...what's teh dumbest thing you've ever heard in nursing, as an explanation for a malady?
For example, the one that sticks out for me is one that I heard as a new nurse, many moons ago. I was doing an assessment on a patient, and a family member of said patient had her sone with her, who was profoundly mentally and physically handicapped. Of course, I would have never presumed to ask the nature of his complaint, but she was only too happy to volunteer it.
"When he was born, the nurse in the room had long fingernails and she scratched his head. That's why he's like this. It's all her fault. We tried to sue her, but the judge threw out the case."
I was stunned, to say the least, and didn't challenge it as hogwash outright, but I did ask,
"Did she puncture his scalp with her nails?"
"No, she just scratched him on the head. It didn't show, but she did it."
You can bet money I was VERY thorough with that assessment. Heaven forbid the lady get staph or some other dread condition because my hair or eyelashes were too long.
Anyone else ever heard a completely absurd reasoning for someone's ailments?
Many years ago I was diagnosed with an ovarian cyst that needed to be surgically removed. My mother-in-law was so upset with me for consenting to the surgery because "that doctor doesn't know what he is doing and is just getting rich off of people like you". She said her friend had a tumor, then it went away right before she was supposed to have surgery because she started eating spicy food. So, if only I would eat more spicy food, I wouldn't need surgery.
Then, when I was pregnant with my first baby, she repeatedly told me to start drinking wine every night to "build up my blood". That's what she did during her pregnancy, because she was anemic. Again, when I told her that my doctor told me no wine, she said that he didn't know what he was talking about.
After the baby was born, she said to start putting cookies in his bottle to absorb with the milk so he would start sleeping through the night.
Needless to say, this woman, bless her heart, was never allowed to babysit!
Specializes in Medsurg/ICU, Mental Health, Home Health.
Many years ago I was diagnosed with an ovarian cyst that needed to be surgically removed. My mother-in-law was so upset with me for consenting to the surgery because "that doctor doesn't know what he is doing and is just getting rich off of people like you". She said her friend had a tumor, then it went away right before she was supposed to have surgery because she started eating spicy food. So, if only I would eat more spicy food, I wouldn't need surgery.
Then, when I was pregnant with my first baby, she repeatedly told me to start drinking wine every night to "build up my blood". That's what she did during her pregnancy, because she was anemic. Again, when I told her that my doctor told me no wine, she said that he didn't know what he was talking about.
After the baby was born, she said to start putting cookies in his bottle to absorb with the milk so he would start sleeping through the night.
Needless to say, this woman, bless her heart, was never allowed to babysit!
It's pretty impressive that your husband turned out okay!
When I was still new, I was stuck with a girl on a wing of 25 patients and we had to take vitals on a patient with a broken arm.
The only available arm for vitals was on the wrong side of the bed next to the wall. We both tried moving the bed and it would not budge. We tried to unlock the wheels and they would not unlock.
She said, "Let's sit her up on the side of the bed. You hold onto her and I will take the blood pressure."
"Okay."
By the time she is done I am completely out of breath from holding onto her. I'm thinking, We should never have sat her up. She is too weak and too heavy.
Most people would have helped me get her back in bed right then.
Then she says, "I have to go report these vitals to the charge nurse," and she went prancing out of the room while I held onto this lady.
I could not get her back on the bed. She was too heavy. I could not lower her to the floor without dropping her. It did not fit what you read in the textbook.
A mental block I had back then prevented me from screaming I need your help God dammit.
Five minutes later she came back in the room and I started yelling at her.
"You had no right to leave me here, I could have broken my back or I could have dropped her!"
"Well you're supposed to report the vitals immediately to the charge nurse."
Specializes in Medsurg/ICU, Mental Health, Home Health.
Just this weekend, I had a patient who had been in NSR drop a QRS. I wasn't concerned, as he was asymptomatic and I had just finished pushing some Lopressor when it happened.
I called the intern just to give a heads up, and he immediately grabbed the chart to see the strip. He took out his calipers, was measuring away and then looked up and said, "is this guy on tele?"
As much as I wanted to say "here's your sign, dude," I smiled and said, "that's how I obtained the strip." He did laugh at himself, at least.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
don't get me started on my mil. that woman is a fruit bat of the first order. heck, she's the flagship mascot!
"fruit bat" somehow sounds nicer than "bat ****", which is how i thought of my mil before she got alzheimer's. she was so crazy it was hard to tell when the dementia kicked in!
A patient believed that her baby cried when she put her down because of her birthmark. I have no idea how the birthmark and putting her child down were related in her mind. Yeah it was weird.
well, at one time, I worked on L & D, got a phone call in the middle of the night, a lady called and stated she was 23 weeks (??) and said her cervix was dilated, I was thinking which dr told her that and then sent her home..... I asked her why she thought her cervix was dilated she said "cuz I stuck my finger up in there and I could feel it!!".... I was flabergasted (sp).. hadn't never heard that one before...........
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OK, now I sit here dumbfounded... that must have taken some sort of gymnastics to do that, even at 23 weeks with an average-sized baby *I* couldn't have done that.
Didn't anyone warn her about not introducing foreign objects (especially fingers) into her lady parts? You know, germs and all if she SROMed.
I have a patient with a daughter that is convinced she can tell when her potassium levels are low just by looking at her despite showing no s/s. The woman has no h/o of hypokalemia at all but the daughter is convinced she can tell this. We have had to send the patient to the hospital at the daughter's insistence, only to have her return within 2 hours with....you guessed it....a normal potassium level.
I have another patient with a daughter that is convinced she can tell when her mother is going to have a stroke despite showing no s/s and no VS changes. She will call me into the room saying "look! she's having one right now!". The woman will be sound asleep.
Do yall ever find yourself congratulating yourself because you kept a straight face during conversations with people like this?
AngelfireRN, MSN, RN, APRN
2 Articles; 1,291 Posts
Don't get me started on my MIL. That woman is a fruit bat of the first order. Heck, she's the flagship mascot!