The Case Against Breastfeeding

slynotshy · Mar 17, 2009

as long as baby gets some eats, then it shouldn't matter where it comes from :twocents: ...

mine who was a lil 4 lb. feed and grow just couldn't latch on right...

so i pumped for about 2 months and bottle fed it to her...

if its about bonding...the kangarooing was the best thing that could ever happen for me. it was always so nice sitting in the dark NICU in a cozy rocker with that tiny baby on my chest...oh and my boobs...yeah, they're messed up now. but gosh do i love that lil girl!

SmilingBluEyes · Mar 17, 2009

Educate and let them make their choices and then keep the guilt trips to yourself. That is my motto. Seems simple enough to me.

And to the poster who did not want his wife's "merchandise" ruined, well, age and pregnancy will do that all by themselves, unless you plan some expensive plastic surgery. And it would be *her* choice to do so or not.

I re-read your post. I am sad you have said these things to your wife.

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Mar 17, 2009

I had my first while working in the NICU and I thought I had no other choice but to breast feed even though I was not 100% sure it would be for me--- how could I not??? Well, it lasted 2 weeks. 2 long weeks of crying and feeling like a complete failure and feeling totally unconfortable in my own skin.
I finally called a coworker friend who happened to be a lactation consultant. She asked me "why are you doing this?" Well, I was doing it because I did not want to feel ashamed to tell people that I gave my baby formula. After about an hour and a TON of tears... I gave it up right after getting off the phone with her. I just needed someone to tell me that it was OK if I did not breastfeed. That I was NOT a bad mother for not feeling "natural".
I was happy, my son was happy and FULL, and we bonded just fine!! He is the picture of health. When I had my daughter, I went through no guilt- just checked the box that said-"formula"!
I do think that many moms are "guilted" into breastfeeding rather than doing it because it is what they really want to do. It is really hard work and it is not for everyone- doesn't mean that you are giving your child any less by not breastfeeding.

I'm with you, 100%.

Things were different when I was having my kids 25+ years ago. Back then, new moms were encouraged to breastfeed but not browbeaten into it the way many are nowadays. Which was fortunate, because my single BF experience was terrible---for two weeks I tried to nurse my firstborn, only to sit up nights in the recliner crying right along with the baby, who was literally starving to death. She started out at 9 lb. 11 oz. and dropped to 8 lb. 5 oz. before I tried pumping and discovered that I had only 1 1/2 ounces of milk in BOTH breasts. I took her to the pediatrician the next morning, who recommended 'supplemental' formula feedings.

Well, that lasted about half a day---she took to that bottle and slurped up four ounces the very first time she tried it, and after that she outright refused the breast. I couldn't blame her. It wasn't another two weeks before she'd regained the lost weight and began to thrive, becoming less fussy and sleeping more regularly. Needless to say, this experience put me off the entire business and I went on to bottle-feed all of my kids..........without guilt.

Contrast this with the 'militant' attitude of many PP nurses and lactation consultants today; I've worked a lot of PP and have seen it myself, although I can't say I ever witnessed anyone being told she was a bad mother if she didn't BF. Mostly, the efforts are more subtle, but new mothers are very vulnerable and tend to be emotionally more fragile than at other times of their lives. It doesn't take much to make a woman feel inadequate as a mother, and even hinting that bottle feeding somehow makes her less of one is NOT okay, IMHO.

tntrn, ASN, RN · Mar 17, 2009

I just wish people would read, and try to remember what they learned in their statistics and research methods classes.

The one thing I remember from statistics is that you can prove anything you want depending on how the studies are done. Not saying the breast feeding studies don't have merit. Saying no one should be subjected to the Breast is Best, and if you don't breast feed, you're a bad mom lecture.

tntrn, ASN, RN · Mar 17, 2009

Educate and let them make their choices and then keep the guilt trips to yourself. That is my motto. Seems simple enough to me.
QUOTE]
Yeah, that.

Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP · Mar 17, 2009

But....breast is best. I'm not saying I browbeat, but there's not really any doubt that, especially for preemies or ill babies, breast milk is better. The nutrients may (or may not) be the same, but formula is harder on these kids' guts than breastmilk.

Of course, breastfed babies can get NEC, but less often. Of course breastfed babies can get constipated, but far less often. Of course, there is a time and a place for formula....what would have probably, in earlier generations, been done by a wetnurse. But for a preemie that hasn't gotten the full effect of placental antibody transfer, it's a pretty scary thought (to me, anyway). I think it's been well-documented that breastfed NICU babies have a shorter stays and fewer infections.

I don't think any people posting here would march into someone's room and verbally slap them for not breastfeeding - as a matter of fact, I don't ever say a word about it to them, unless they bring it up. And of course, bottlefeeding does NOT make one a bad mom. But to ignore the benefits of breastfeeding for moms who really want to do it is negligent as well. I work with nurses whose first solution is to stick a bottle in the kid's mouth. I don't agree with that either.

I pumped for 9 months after going back to work (til ds was a year, IOW) and hated it. It was a pain in the butt. Looking back, though, I don't regret doing it for a heartbeat.

My cousin (who is more like my sister) had a hard time w/ breastfeeding her first. He did great in the hospital, then once she got engorged, he refused because her breasts got so enormous. She tried everything to relieve the engorgement and nothing worked. She switched to formula and called me crying because she felt like a terrible mother. And I told her the same thing that's been said here over and over: You are a bad mom if you don't feed your baby....but you do NOT have to breastfeed your baby in order to be a great mom.

Happy medium is what it's about for me.

2curlygirls · Mar 17, 2009

Has anyone ever said, point blank, "If you don't breastfeed, you're a bad mom" ???

You're right. We shouldn't be subjected to Breast is Best. It should be, Breast is Normal. It's the way human infants were designed to be fed. There is no judgement in that statement. It is what it is.

tntrn, ASN, RN · Mar 17, 2009

Has anyone ever said, point blank, "If you don't breastfeed, you're a bad mom" ???
QUOTE]
Hopefully not, but the perception is what the vulnerable mom is left with... It's like pain: it is what the patient says it is.

Nascar nurse, ASN, RN · Mar 17, 2009

Nascar Nurse... is that how you see breastfeeding? Comparable to going to the bathroom? Just curious...

I KNOW that this is very un-politically correct.. BUT I strongly feel that somethings are meant to be private. And no, I would NEVER have felt comfortable "flopping my boobs out" anywhere and everywhere - raised to be modest and this was ingrained into my very being. Some women do very well and make some attempts to be subtle and just take care of business, but others.. well you know (I will try to keep from getting flamed).

Seems every time someone is really hot and heavy into the subject, they want to compare it to "nature". Well lots and lots of things are natural, my point is we don't do ALL natural things for everyone else to watch! I just think that whole arguement is flawed.

To each his own. Most importantly is to love the baby, feed the baby & understand there are different ways to do this that provide for the same healthy outcome of the infant.

meluhn · Mar 17, 2009

I know several breast fed kids who are completely screwed up: druggies, poor students, etc., etc.

I agree. It is such a short time in life--when your kids are little. What matters is that you love them and raise them to be responsible, self sufficient, caring human beings.

Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP · Mar 17, 2009

Where are all these people that whip their boob out and let it hang there for several seconds, while announcing to the world that they are going to breastfeed, before latching baby on?

2curlygirls · Mar 17, 2009

I KNOW that this is very un-politically correct.. BUT I strongly feel that somethings are meant to be private. And no, I would NEVER have felt comfortable "flopping my boobs out" anywhere and everywhere - raised to be modest and this was ingrained into my very being. Some women do very well and make some attempts to be subtle and just take care of business, but others.. well you know (I will try to keep from getting flamed).
Seems every time someone is really hot and heavy into the subject, they want to compare it to "nature". Well lots and lots of things are natural, my point is we don't do ALL natural things for everyone else to watch! I just think that whole arguement is flawed.
To each his own. Most importantly is to love the baby, feed the baby & understand there are different ways to do this that provide for the same healthy outcome of the infant.

Breastfeeding is not about "flopping your boobs out". It is about feeding your hungry infant. Food. That is what breasts were meant to do. Make baby food. Period. If you don't wanna see it, don't watch. Babe's gotta eat.