The Case Against Breastfeeding

SmilingBluEyes · Mar 17, 2009

Such a paradox. We see more boob on the cover of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue or many xbox games than bf moms EVER show. Time for everyone to grow up like they have in other countries. Get over it; look the other way if it offends you. But never expect me to go out to a hot car or a filthy bathroom to feed my baby. Would YOU eat in such places? Neither should my baby. :banghead:

Our country has such a strange attitude about bf and nudity in general.

And I agree with those who say it is not our job to browbeat anyone into such a personal and important decision. Education is our job. Then support. No where does the job description for nurses or LCs discuss "guilting" moms into anything.

Nascar nurse, ASN, RN · Mar 18, 2009

Breastfeeding is not about "flopping your boobs out". It is about feeding your hungry infant. Food. That is what breasts were meant to do. Make baby food. Period. If you don't wanna see it, don't watch. Babe's gotta eat.

OK, I am done after this because it's an agree to disagree situation.

I have seen plenty of the flopping out boobs in malls, fast food.. any public place imaginable. I also understand that there are also boobs hanging out on every sports illustrated, movie, even commercials.. call me a prude, but I can't stand that either. I didn't grow up in another country where all this openness about ones body happens. I grew up in the farm country of the midwest, raised by very "backwards" parents and grandparents. I even see that is my own "hang up", but it is what it is. I only say this as I know I can't possibly be the only human alive that thinks this way. Some things are private and I made a choice that I am not ashamed of. It was what made me most comfortable and as a result my kids got a happy secure mother from day one.

And I also hear the "grow up" response. I am a grown up, but my young son is not! With this over sexualization in this county it is a very confusing message for a young kid to understand.

I am done. Thank you for respecting my choice and my opinions as well.

Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP · Mar 18, 2009

I have a young son too, and at 4, he understands that he drank milk at Mommy's breast when he was a baby. He sees pictures of nursing moms (I have OB books at home) and knows that that's how he ate too.

He's also able to make the distinction between that and the soap commercials that show obviously naked people in the shower, or the times when he's happened across The Price is Right & Barker's Beauties (or whatever they're called now). In those situations, he'll whisper, "Mommy, those ladies don't have much clothes on." And we flip the channel.

Lest anybody think I'm a weirdo, it's not like we talk about this stuff every day. And I don't go around forcing him to look at pictures of nursing mamas. But when it comes up - like when he asks me, "What did I eat when I was a baby?" - I tell him point blank. That's usually the end of it and on to the next thing. I think kids are far better at handling things like this than we give them credit for.

When ds was a baby, a friend of mine from Finland came to visit. She did not even ask how I fed ds, she just assumed. She did not bat the first eyelash when I nursed him. She tells me that in Finland, moms nurse everywhere and nobody cares - even a member of Finnish parliament took her baby to nurse during Parliamentary sessions. I hope that one day we will get there too. It's not about being in anyone else's face about it. It's just recognizing that it is about my baby eating and no more.

I don't have an issue with anyone choosing to bottlefeed. But I also ask the same in return.

CEG · Mar 18, 2009

this is not the point! the whole "breast is best" notion is not about looking at whether each individual child is bonded or not, healthy or not, smart or not, yada yada, yada. what the research shows is that statistically, children who are breast fed tend to have statistically higher iq's, statistically lower rates of infection, and moms tend to report different kinds of bonding feelings.
no, kids who are formula fed are not all mentally retarded. kids who are formula fed are not all chronically ill in the hospital. and kids who are formula fed are not all suffering from attachments other than secure. the research just shows that breast feeding gives most populations of children a statistically significant chance of having higher iqs, lower rates of infection, better hand/eye coordination, less rates of positional plageocephaly, increased feelings of secure attachments, etc, etc, etc.
i'm sure your kids are fine, as are most kids who are fed and loved! but what you will never know is whether or not your children could have had their iqs raised by a few points if you had breast fed. or whether or not they would have suffered a few less illnesses in their lifetimes.
this is not to make you feel guilty...this is only to reiterate the point that breast feeding advocates do not warn that your children will be messed up if you formula feed...they only state that breast feeding gives more advantages in general.
i firmly believe that breastfeeding is a personal choice and i do not look down on formula feeders. you have to do what works for your family. i just get sick of hearing "well, i formula fed and my kids are fine". that's not the point!

people who breastfeed are more likely to have higher i.q.s, plan their pregnancy, money to support those kids, good education, etc. statistics can say whatever you want them to. that said, i am very much pro-breastfeeding. just making the point that this stat, while widely quoted, is not an unbiased one.

2curlygirls · Mar 18, 2009

I just have to say a couple things. I am a very modest person, but that somehow never even came into play in my breastfeeding career. Not much actually shows. And the fact that my girls never would take bottles made nursing around others pretty unavoidable. Shrug. If people were offended, I figured that was their problem.

I realize there are regional differences. I live where breastfeeding is viewed as the default way to feed a baby. I literally do not know one person who didn't at least try. So I'm admittedly a bit bewildered by the original article and much of this thread.

SmilingBluEyes · Mar 18, 2009

When I say "grow up" I do not refer to any poster here, but to our nation as a whole, about it's mixed up attitudes regarding sexuality, nudity and breastfeeding. We have it all confused here! It's crazy. I am sorry if my post offended anyone.

BabyLady, BSN, RN · Mar 18, 2009

Breastfeeding is not about "flopping your boobs out". It is about feeding your hungry infant. Food. That is what breasts were meant to do. Make baby food. Period. If you don't wanna see it, don't watch. Babe's gotta eat.

As a mother who breast fed, there is a very fine line between feeding your baby and exposing yourself for the world to see...I have no idea of why mothers do this...for the shock value or attention...I never figured out which.

I "demand" fed my children...however, I ALWAYS wore a button down blouse where ever I was. I always wore a nursing bra. When my baby needed to eat, I had a large decorative blanket that I carried around with me everywhere...I draped that over my shoulder, picked up and positioned my baby, so only I and my baby could see my breast.

People that passed by mostly thought I was holding the baby. When they would ask to see, I would say, "I'm sorry, she's eating"....they would apologize.

I fed both of them in public places...not once was my breast ever exposed to the public.

But unbuttoning your shirt and exposing your breast for tons of strangers to see, is 190% not necessary to feed a baby.

Just because a mother is nursing, doesn't mean she should drop all human decency. It's also very, very disrespectful to other men/women who may happen to look your way in a public place, that had no idea nor an expectation that a woman was just going to "flop it out" when her baby needs to feed.

allnurses Guide · Mar 18, 2009

We've had this discussion before and I really think it is regional/cultural .. . . where you come from.

Here in California, for the most part, breastfeeding is no big deal . . even if someone slips and a bit of the breast shows.

In Vietnam, where I go for medical missions, the women are very open and relaxed about it. And no one around them makes a big deal out of it. I've got two beautiful photos of two women nursing their babies and chatting and you can see a bit of one woman's breast.

For myself, I just will never understand why it is ok for Brittany Spears to wear skanky revealing clothing or NFL cheerleaders to bounce their breasts in the tv viewers' face . .. but feeding a child is somehow gonna terrorize a person.

I respect that others feel different - I just don't get it.

steph

Nascar nurse, ASN, RN · Mar 18, 2009

As a mother who breast fed, there is a very fine line between feeding your baby and exposing yourself for the world to see...I have no idea of why mothers do this...for the shock value or attention...I never figured out which.

She must have been in the same mall I have been in many times:bow:

We are good smiling blue eyes.. agreeing to disagree while being respectful of each other. Appreciate that!:redbeathe

BabyLady, BSN, RN · Mar 18, 2009

She must have been in the same mall I have been in many times:bow:
We are good smiling blue eyes.. agreeing to disagree while being respectful of each other. Appreciate that!:redbeathe

Oh yeah.....I have another angle as well.

To me, if we are going to fully except women who "flop it out" to feed a baby, because it's hungry and it's "natural"...then I say men should be allowed to "flop it out" and urinate on whatever tree/bush happens to be nearby.

Afterall, it's not indecent exposure, and he's not being an exhibitionist...he's just answering the call of nature.

I can see all the soccer Mom's at the local park now.....

allnurses Guide · Mar 18, 2009

See, I just think milk and feeding a baby are 180 degrees different than urine and voiding.

steph

rn/writer, RN · Mar 18, 2009

this is not the point! the whole "breast is best" notion is not about looking at whether each individual child is bonded or not, healthy or not, smart or not, yada yada, yada. what the research shows is that statistically, children who are breast fed tend to have statistically higher iq's, statistically lower rates of infection, and moms tend to report different kinds of bonding feelings.
no, kids who are formula fed are not all mentally retarded. kids who are formula fed are not all chronically ill in the hospital. and kids who are formula fed are not all suffering from attachments other than secure. the research just shows that breast feeding gives most populations of children a statistically significant chance of having higher iqs, lower rates of infection, better hand/eye coordination, less rates of positional plageocephaly, increased feelings of secure attachments, etc, etc, etc.
i'm sure your kids are fine, as are most kids who are fed and loved! but what you will never know is whether or not your children could have had their iqs raised by a few points if you had breast fed. or whether or not they would have suffered a few less illnesses in their lifetimes.
this is not to make you feel guilty...this is only to reiterate the point that breast feeding advocates do not warn that your children will be messed up if you formula feed...they only state that breast feeding gives more advantages in general.
i firmly believe that breastfeeding is a personal choice and i do not look down on formula feeders. you have to do what works for your family. i just get sick of hearing "well, i formula fed and my kids are fine". that's not the point!

the writer questioned some of the research that has been put forth as gospel for decades--both the methodology and some of the "conclusions."

after [researching the research], the basic pattern became obvious: the medical literature looks nothing like the popular literature. it shows that breast-feeding is probably, maybe, a little better; but it is far from the stampede of evidence that sears describes. more like tiny, unsure baby steps: two forward, two back, with much meandering and bumping into walls. a couple of studies will show fewer allergies, and then the next one will turn up no difference. same with mother-infant bonding, iq, leukemia, cholesterol, diabetes. even where consensus is mounting, the meta studies—reviews of existing studies—consistently complain about biases, missing evidence, and other major flaws in study design. “the studies do not demonstrate a universal phenomenon, in which one method is superior to another in all instances,” concluded one of the first, and still one of the broadest, meta studies, in a 1984 issue of pediatrics, “and they do not support making a mother feel that she is doing psychological harm to her child if she is unable or unwilling to breastfeed.” twenty-five years later, the picture hasn’t changed all that much.

breastfeeding--when it works the way it's supposed to--is the ideal on many levels. breastfeeding--when it causes unresolvable pain (that mom can't tolerate), produces insufficient weight gain, generates stress in both mom and babe, and creates dread, depression and other negative reactions--is one step forward and two steps back.

bottlefeeding may be looked upon as the lesser choice, but sometimes less is more.

dh and i have developed a philosophy that has stood us well over the years, especially when we made choices that others found odd (or would find them so if they knew about them). we do what works for us. if someone else doesn't approve, they can do what works for them. but we are the only ones looking out our eyeballs, so we are the ones who get to evaluate and decide the route we think will give us the results we are after.