Thankless at times, downright mean others!

bearzhuny · Dec 7, 2004

Oh the things patients wills say. My mom had a patient comment one time about why were all the nurses on that floor fat. She ( the patient) said with all the walking and running they should be skinny. My father (who is 65 and still on the floor hustling bedpans) has been told he is to old. I am entering nursing school and can't wait for the outrageous things I'm sure I'll hear. I just chalk it up to people being out of their normal realm and take solance that apperances change but nasty attitudes don't.

I have this one patient that complains about EVERYTHING...well it must have been a slow day yesterday...so he turned to me!
I just got my hair cut, it is short and spikey and I put some highlights in. I went into his room and he went from hello straight on to how much he hated my hair! He told me it looked 'punk' it looked 'unkept' and it didn't look feminine in any way...that I should ask my husband for a appointment for a perm! (my avatar is me btw...that is how my hair is).
I must have looked at him like he was an exhibit from the dark ages in the museum! LOL! I just nodded, smiled and went on to my work. But this guy wouldn't let up! HOW rude is that??????
Finally he said "now if something was wrong with me, I would want you to tell me...is there something wrong with me that you don't like?"
OH WHERE TO BEGIN??? LOL!
But I simply said "you know something..I am a professional nurse, I see things in all people that can be improved, and things I like, and things I really don't like. But you know, I am not your friend, I am not your buddy...I am your nurse, you are a work subject only to me frankly. I don't tell my work subjects my personal opinion unless it is related to medical, and then it isn't my personal opinion per say as much as my clinical opinion. I don't go into peoples room because I want to...heck it is 0630 in the morning I would rather be in bed, but I come in because it is my job!"
Then I smiled :) "Now, if you want to go personal this hairdo matches my personality outside of work, which I do have a life outside of work contrary to popular belief. You are taking to a nurse by day...a tattoo'd, 6 hole earring wearing, smoking, belly peirced gal who plans on getting a nose ring and more tattoos in the future:smokin: , but you wouldn't know that because I don't show that in my professional life at all..out goes the earrings and the tattoo is fully covered simply by placement of clothes:specs: ! My husband loves it:kiss , and would rather me look like a fun loving gal than a permed up priss with her hair just so every day...and I don't ask his permission to get a hair cut, or piercings, or tattoos, or clothes (actually I do...LOL!) because I am an adult. As far as your comment about my hair...frankly mr. __ I don't take it to heart or would waste time being upset on your opinion of me unless it was professional...do you have any probelms with my nursing skills? "
He was shocked and said "well...ummmmm no".:chair:
And I cut him off, "Good, now onto your CBG..and another little tid bit of advice about nurses in general, not a good idea to tell one something to upset them when they have to poke you afterwards?!?!? Maybe a good idea to wait till after the pokes with some nurses...not me because as I said I really don't take your comments to heart and would be upset in anyway, but I know a few that may not make it pleasant!";) . And had a huge smile on that couldn't be told if it was an evil smile or a I am being friendly smile (ohhhhhhh that smile is powerful! LOL).
I won that little convo obviously..but OMG what gall!!!!!! Hi nurse I hate your hair you look like crap! UHGGGGGG. They say nursing is a thankless job..yes at times, but at times it can be down right mean!
What kinds of rude comments about your personal life or choice in hairstyles/clothing and what not have you experienced? This is actually my first, and no...I am not mad, a little shocked that he said it, but not made (infact I busted up laughing hard when I left like "OMG I can't believe he said that..heck I can't believe I said what I did..LOL!".:roll )

LPN1974, LPN · Dec 7, 2004

I'm not sure, but I think most of the patients you all encountered who made masty remarks to you, were male.....is that right?

They are probably verbally abusive to people in other areas of their life, also.

I've met people like that. At my job, I've encountered a couple of male employees who were verbally abusive to me.....I reported both of them, because I do not have to take that. It hasn't happened again. Sometimes, some men just have to be made to understand that they can't talk to people like that.

I don't advocate being rude to a patient, but sometimes, you have to make them understand that you won't tolerate abusive behaviour.

I think you just have to also take in their mental condition, if they are confused, demented, MR, etc, that's one thing. You can ignore that. Maybe even ignore a sloppy drunk to a certain extent until he sobers up, but remarks from someone who is in their right mind, in my opinion, should not have to be tolerated.

On my job we have one client who curses everyone who walks thru the door. But she's MR. Everyone who has ever taken take of this person has one time or another been called a "big black butted b***h" or "MF". Black or white, she's called all of us dirty names. But ya just gotta ignore it.

boulergirl, CNA · Dec 7, 2004

Believe it or not, during the Crimean War, Florence Nightingale (a classmate and personal friend of mine) saw to ALL :imbar her patients' needs. This is why she died of VD.:imbar Just another piece of trivea from the crypt.
:chuckle :chuckle

Oh....Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!! :imbar :eek:

I agree with TriageRN_34--I'm glad we don't have to "service" our patients in addition to all the other service they get, KWIM? "Hmm, let's see, Mr. So-and-So, would you like to assume the missionary position tonight or do you prefer doggy-style? Would you like a full-body massage before we get started?"

(Oh that's NASTY.)

obeyacts2 · Dec 7, 2004

well, I have had several pts tell me I need to lose weight. Im short and fat BTW. I did have one guy tell me I had great *** and started tellng me all the places we had been and uh, done :imbar . His poor mortified wife and I figured out he thought I was his old college girlfriend. He was normally confused, so the agency started sending another caregiver (hopefully male :rotfl: )

Laura

RE Agent · Dec 7, 2004

Who cares what some patients say. I'll just poot, and blame it on them.

boulergirl, CNA · Dec 7, 2004

Who cares what some patients say. I'll just poot, and blame it on them.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Hellllllo Nurse, BSN, RN · Dec 7, 2004

I remember years ago, cleaning BM out of the fingernails of a demented pt. She kept yelling "Fat B#$%^" at me the whole time. I guess she was too demented to realize that she had about 150 lbs on me, lol.

RE Agent · Dec 8, 2004

I remember years ago, cleaning BM out of the fingernails of a demented pt. She kept yelling "Fat B#$%^" at me the whole time. I guess she was too demented to realize that she had about 150 lbs on me, lol.

How sad. I wonder what her life had been like before her illness. Patients say things many times because they are angry people, and there are many angry folks out in the world. As a nurse I believe we should correct them, and also be kind to them, because we may be the only person in there life who is kind to them.

I remember one of my 14 year old patients on L&D. Many of the nurses were just plain mean to her. This girl came from an abusive family, and was pregnant by her uncle. The uncle was put in jail, and the baby up for adoption. Why were these nurses so mean to her, and unprofessional?

shell911rn · Dec 8, 2004

The one thing that is getting to me the most about being a new grad is the comments about my nursing skills by patients or their families. I've heard everything in the book from my patients about how they don't think I know what I'm doing when I don't get an IV on the first try or how an IV "shouldn't hurt if you know how to do it right." :eek: Mind you, these patients don't know how long I've been practicing as a nurse (going on 6 months now). I could handle the other comments about my weight or appearance fine (I once had a patient in the ER who had OD'd while I was a tech tell me how fat I was, and I turned to him and said sternly, "You're one to talk about somebody else's problems," which shut him up rather quickly), but the ones that kill me the most are the ones that have to do with my skills as a nurse. It has honestly left me feeling rather bad and I go home on my days off brooding about it. I've had other nurses watch me do my IV's and they don't believe I'm doing anything wrong (except may be not choosing the best vein), it's just many of these people just have bad veins or are dehydrated. I now am planning on taking an IV class to polish up my skills and I've even read all I can about IV's and tips I've found over the internet, that's how much it bothers me.

On a side note, I'll never forget the patient who yelled at me and his nurse, too, when we were in the ER because he was going to miss his appointment with the eye doctor and he wanted to find out why he was losing his sight. He was a frequent flyer and was being admitted once again for DKA (with blood sugars over a thousand) :angryfire . I wanted to yell back "If you'd control your blood sugar, may be you wouldn't be going blind." :chair: I took care of him as a student nurse 6 months prior at another hospital when he first started dialysis (he yelled at me then, too, b/c I wouldn't give him an afternoon snack and "all diabetics get snacks," according to him), so I wasn't too sympathetic. Most of these patients will often apologize later, but the damage is already done. It takes guts for me to go back in the room and be objective, but I've learned to do it. I'm getting better at hiding the tears, too. And I can say all the "I know you didn't mean it. I understand you are in pain...blah blah blah," but you know what? Their pain isn't gonna last forever, but their remark will stay with me for quite sometime. It just wears at me time after time and I go home crying at times thinking I'm a bad nurse. All over not being able to get an IV! Yet, I know even the supposed "IV experts" who can't get IV's on the first and sometimes SECOND try. It's still no comfort when a patient starts yelling for the "expert." And it's not just the IV skills they get mad about. It's when you can't do for them what they think you should be doing (i.e. getting them a hospital bed upstairs, etc). I hate it when another nurse who's worked in the hospital a long time swoops in and calls her "contacts" to get them that bed upstairs, too. It makes me look worthless, yet I've done everything else for that patient that should matter more (rehydrating them, medicating them for pain) up to that point. All "contacts" and "resources" should be available to any nurse, not just the one's who've been there for umpteen years.

celticqueen · Dec 8, 2004

TriageRN--I'm glad that you told the Pt what you did. He was completely out of line. There comes a time when the pt needs to understand that commenting on the nurse's appearance really has nothing to do with their care. I am all for taking excellent care of a pt but I am really getting tired of the "customer is always right" attitude that hospitals are taking. I wonder if the pt would have appreciated having a thorough assessment of his personality performed? And as far as informing him about nurses and needles--it sounds like he was a dim bulb and what is common sense for the rest of the population must not have been for him!

i agree. I don't know why patients think that they have the right to abuse staff, probably because they are allowed to get away with it. I don't imagine they would be so insulting to joe bloggs on the street. Why do they feel that it is their right to punch, scratch, kick and spit (i've been subjected to all of these - i have been given 2 black eyes from patients and punched so hard i got knocked over a bed. My friend has had her fingers dislocated too, but this is a few years back). Can you imagine what would happen if they attacked a regular person, they would probably get a pop back!!!!!

But then I guess some people are just downright rude - period.

Oh yeah, this might make you laugh. I was washing a female patient (not confused) when she smacked me on the head with a box (the corner bit, and it was sharp and HURT!!!) and said to me "why don't you f**k off to your own country you welsh b***h" - charming!!!

Emma

LPN1974, LPN · Dec 8, 2004

i agree. I don't know why patients think that they have the right to abuse staff, probably because they are allowed to get away with it. I don't imagine they would be so insulting to joe bloggs on the street. Why do they feel that it is their right to punch, scratch, kick and spit (i've been subjected to all of these - i have been given 2 black eyes from patients and punched so hard i got knocked over a bed. My friend has had her fingers dislocated too, but this is a few years back). Can you imagine what would happen if they attacked a regular person, they would probably get a pop back!!!!!
But then I guess some people are just downright rude - period.
Oh yeah, this might make you laugh. I was washing a female patient (not confused) when she smacked me on the head with a box (the corner bit, and it was sharp and HURT!!!) and said to me "why don't you f**k off to your own country you welsh b***h" - charming!!!
Emma

Why, that's assault and battery! Why can't you file charges against her, even if she is the patient???

I think charges should be filed if a patient hits a nurse. Just because they are the patient doesn't give them any right to hit people.

I would have filed charges.

celticqueen · Dec 8, 2004

Why, that's assault and battery! Why can't you file charges against her, even if she is the patient???
I think charges should be filed if a patient hits a nurse. Just because they are the patient doesn't give them any right to hit people.
I would have filed charges.

thanks for your concern bless you, but this was a few years ago when i was a care assistant in a nursing home. I told the staff nurse on duty, but he wasn't interested. He just told me to go back to the man and put him to bed. I told him no way, he'd just knocked me over a bed!!!! I told the staff nurse that if he wanted the man in bed to do it himself because I am no-ones punchbag . I spent the rest of the shift with a frozen fruitcake stuck to my eye (we didn't have an ice bag :rotfl: ).

Emma