Thankless at times, downright mean others!

allnurses Guide · Dec 5, 2004

Well, this is in nursing school . . . I was on Christmas Break and got my hair cut short - sort of a modified shag. When I went back to school I was walking down the hall to my classroom and one of my fellow students (male) who is also a friend said "Is that the haircut you meant to get?". I'm very self-conscious - I felt awful all day.

I'm over 40 and sometimes think I should cut my long hair again but each time I've done it people say it doesn't look good. So - I dunno . . ..

One time a few of us were trying to calm an elderly very combative woman down and as I was trying to talk to her she looked at me and sneered this awful scary sneer and told me I had bad breath. :uhoh3:

I always carry gum and brush my teeth at least twice a shift.

steph

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Dec 5, 2004

I had one patient in the ER when i was an aide (NO dementia, NO psych history, NO alcohol or drugs, etc.), who i had JUST gone up to, to introduce myself, that told me i was "too ugly to be a nurse and way too ugly to live". Granted, this wasn't the most professional reply, but i said "Hmmm, I do not recall asking your opinion of my physical appearence. Would you like the name and number of my supervisor to discuss this matter further with her?".

I've thought and thought about that situation, and you know, i don't feel i was out of line. To act like this person never said anything mean would have been saying 'sure it's ok for you to run me over'. And i'd do it agian in a heartbeat.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Dec 5, 2004

i had my hair in a ponytail once, and a patient commented "i'll bet you think your hair looks good. i just wanted you to know that it doesn't." wtf? another time, i was in an elevator with my patient, several visitors, and two doctors. one of the doctors stared at me for the longest time, and then said "you know, ruby (got my name off my nametag, i'm sure) you'd be a pretty girl if you didn't have such bad acne. come on down to my office and i'll write you a script." what an @$$! i had two zits, but even if i'd been a broken out mess, he shouldn't have offered an unsolicited opinion in front of a group of people! :( :angryfire :angryfire

Ms.RN · Dec 5, 2004

[quote=triagern_34

but i simply said "you know something..i am a professional nurse, i see things in all people that can be improved, and things i like, and things i really don't like. but you know, i am not your friend, i am not your buddy...i am your nurse, you are a work subject only to me frankly. i don't tell my work subjects my personal opinion unless it is related to medical, and then it isn't my personal opinion per say as much as my clinical opinion.

i can understand how upset you were about the comment your patient made. but do you think your comment to your patient was professional? i think there is another way of communicate with your patient. just say things like "i like how my hair is done and i dont care what other people think of me" and then just walk away.

and i cut him off, "good, now onto your cbg..and another little tid bit of advice about nurses in general, not a good idea to tell one something to upset them when they have to poke you afterwards?!?!? maybe a good idea to wait till after the pokes with some nurses...not me because as i said i really don't take your comments to heart and would be upset in anyway, but i know a few that may not make it pleasant!";) . and had a huge smile on that couldn't be told if it was an evil smile or a i am being friendly smile (ohhhhhhh that smile is powerful! lol). :devil:

i have learned in nursing school that verbally threatening patient with bodily harm is considered verbal abuse even though a nurse didnt actully harm the patient. i would be careful what nurses say to the patient because nowdays people dont sue health professionals with legitimate reasons, but they make up stories and sue them.

Pattiecake · Dec 5, 2004

A few months ago I decided to change my hairstyle. When I got to work the staff said it looked very nice, more youthful. I felt pretty god about myself until the doc said "Pfffw! What's with the hair?" Hmmmm, that sure took the wind out of my sails! :rolleyes:

jaimealmostRN · Dec 5, 2004

Triage, yes go ASK your husband for a perm LOL...that dates this guy right there. My only expirence was in our very 1st semester of school at a VA home. I have blonde hair that is dyed and usually very upkept (roots and all), but I'd let it grow at 1/4'' b/c of the stress of my new school! Still looked good but this older gentleman said, "you dye your hair too much, and you look like you have herpes!" WHAT????? I don't have herpes and didn't even have on red/pink lipstick...no idea where that came from. Even though my mean-ish prof. was there I burst out laughing! The pt. just got more annoyed, but my prof. started giggling too...turns out he was mean to her also. I like Marie' response too, but unless these comments came from a supermodel, I'd just laugh them off. The person's just trying to get a response or is jealous.

Still Riding · Dec 5, 2004

I was once told that I was too young and that he didn't know that the nursing shortage was so bad that they let 15 year olds be nurses.

I din't really have a reply for him, but he kept calling me kid after that. I know I'm not a nurse yet, but common 15. But I guess I didn't say anything back, It was my first clinical rotation.

SR

Still Riding · Dec 5, 2004

and I must add that I think your comments were appropriate, because poeple have to know that we are not there for them to Sh!t on.

jaimealmostRN · Dec 5, 2004

I was once told that I was too young and that he didn't know that the nursing shortage was so bad that they let 15 year olds be nurses.
SR

I get comments like this a lot, but usually in a friendlier way. My response is always something like, "wow, thats so sweet, I'll thank my dermatologist!" So then they think your like 45 but got botox or something. :chuckle

UM Review RN, ASN, RN · Dec 5, 2004

I'll never forget the time I had to change a confused, combative patient. It took about four people and 20 minutes, but we finally won and the patient was clean and dry.

I was the last to turn and leave the room. Behind me the patient muttered loudly, "Fat B****!"

I stopped dead in shock. Then I realized that that was the first time in my entire life that an irate patient hadn't called me a "Skinny B****." :roll

Most of the time the insults don't bother me.

Of course, there are exceptions. The confused LOL who insisted repeatedly--and loudly--for hours--that I was "the Devil" kinda bothered me. :uhoh21:

lynn27 · Dec 5, 2004

TriageRN--I'm glad that you told the Pt what you did. He was completely out of line. There comes a time when the pt needs to understand that commenting on the nurse's appearance really has nothing to do with their care. I am all for taking excellent care of a pt but I am really getting tired of the "customer is always right" attitude that hospitals are taking. I wonder if the pt would have appreciated having a thorough assessment of his personality performed? And as far as informing him about nurses and needles--it sounds like he was a dim bulb and what is common sense for the rest of the population must not have been for him!