Thankless at times, downright mean others!

Specialties Geriatric

Published

I have this one patient that complains about EVERYTHING...well it must have been a slow day yesterday...so he turned to me!:(

I just got my hair cut, it is short and spikey and I put some highlights in. I went into his room and he went from hello straight on to how much he hated my hair! He told me it looked 'punk' it looked 'unkept' and it didn't look feminine in any way...that I should ask my husband for a appointment for a perm! :eek: (my avatar is me btw...that is how my hair is).:cool:

I must have looked at him like he was an exhibit from the dark ages in the museum! LOL! I just nodded, smiled and went on to my work. But this guy wouldn't let up! HOW rude is that??????:nono:

Finally he said "now if something was wrong with me, I would want you to tell me...is there something wrong with me that you don't like?"

:lol2: OH WHERE TO BEGIN???:lol2: LOL!

But I simply said "you know something..I am a professional nurse, I see things in all people that can be improved, and things I like, and things I really don't like. But you know, I am not your friend, I am not your buddy...I am your nurse, you are a work subject only to me frankly. I don't tell my work subjects my personal opinion unless it is related to medical, and then it isn't my personal opinion per say as much as my clinical opinion. I don't go into peoples room because I want to...heck it is 0630 in the morning I would rather be in bed, but I come in because it is my job!"

Then I smiled :) "Now, if you want to go personal this hairdo matches my personality outside of work, which I do have a life outside of work contrary to popular belief. You are taking to a nurse by day...a tattoo'd, 6 hole earring wearing, smoking, belly peirced gal who plans on getting a nose ring and more tattoos in the future:smokin: , but you wouldn't know that because I don't show that in my professional life at all..out goes the earrings and the tattoo is fully covered simply by placement of clothes:specs: ! My husband loves it:kiss , and would rather me look like a fun loving gal than a permed up priss with her hair just so every day...and I don't ask his permission to get a hair cut, or piercings, or tattoos, or clothes (actually I do...LOL!) because I am an adult. As far as your comment about my hair...frankly mr. __ I don't take it to heart or would waste time being upset on your opinion of me unless it was professional...do you have any probelms with my nursing skills?:nurse: "

He was shocked and said "well...ummmmm no".:chair:

And I cut him off, "Good, now onto your CBG..and another little tid bit of advice about nurses in general, not a good idea to tell one something to upset them when they have to poke you afterwards?!?!? Maybe a good idea to wait till after the pokes with some nurses...not me because as I said I really don't take your comments to heart and would be upset in anyway, but I know a few that may not make it pleasant!";) . And had a huge smile on that couldn't be told if it was an evil smile or a I am being friendly smile (ohhhhhhh that smile is powerful! LOL).:devil:

I won that little convo obviously..but OMG what gall!!!!!! Hi nurse I hate your hair you look like crap! UHGGGGGG. They say nursing is a thankless job..yes at times, but at times it can be down right mean!:rolleyes::(

What kinds of rude comments about your personal life or choice in hairstyles/clothing and what not have you experienced? This is actually my first, and no...I am not mad, a little shocked that he said it, but not made (infact I busted up laughing hard when I left like "OMG I can't believe he said that..heck I can't believe I said what I did..LOL!".:roll )

Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.

What a shame that you can't write a note for a doctor to recommend psych evals for some of these people, though ;).

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Specializes in OR.

the 3rd or 4th patient I had in my first hospital rotation must have been quite obessed with how "big" I was. I will admit I'm am big (6'1" and 200 lbs) female. All day, that guy said stuff like my you're big, you're a big gal, etc. It offended me the first time I met him the night before my rotation. All day he commented on it. but the old guy was just in wonderment. he didn't sound insulting and he joked quite a bit as the day went on. like he said he was an ornery kind of guy. a friend of mine has worked ER for years and has received every kind of insult you can think of. she is overweight and that is a popular thing for drunks to comment on not to mention all the names she has been called. it's not right, but people in pain strike out at the people closest and that means us nurses.

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I was once told that I was too young and that he didn't know that the nursing shortage was so bad that they let 15 year olds be nurses.

I din't really have a reply for him, but he kept calling me kid after that. I know I'm not a nurse yet, but common 15. But I guess I didn't say anything back, It was my first clinical rotation.

SR

Would have been nice to be able to say "at least I don't look as old as you do".

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

I've worked in the ER for several years and have been called everything but....anyway you get the idea! However, I just let it slide - it doesn't do any good to get upset. But...I wish I could come up with the clever things you guys say - hey - anyone want to follow me around all day coming up with clever, witty comebacks for me??? Please!!!

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I always feel its best to hold your head hi and say "thank you " with a big smile...stops em in their tracks...

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I always feel its best to hold your head hi and say "thank you " with a big smile...stops em in their tracks...

This is the type thing I like to do too; people who are trying to bug you expect a certain response and if you don't give it to them you have spoiled their fun. Works well for me.

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Specializes in Geriatrics, LTC.

Years ago when I worked as a CNA in a local hospital, we had a man who was a "frequent flier", he often would say to the staff such things as: "how nice that you let your hair go natural and let all the gray out" (this was said to a prematurely graying 28 yr old women), to me (before I started plucking them) he said "how nice to leave your eye brows all like that". Another time he said to me and the nurse, "oh I thought I would get some pretty nurses", we said "listen Robert Redford...do you want to get to your room?" Of course he knew we were joking around and he laughed at it, but you know we never heard his "joking" around again.

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Specializes in Education, Acute, Med/Surg, Tele, etc.

LOL, what things people say huh!?!?! My goodness, I sware we get treated worse than complete strangers with neon purple clothes on and a sign saying "please kick my teeth in!" LOL!

This particular patient refused to believe I am a nurse...he says I am too young for a nurse (okay a complement I suppose..LOL!) and I am his 'laundry maid' (okay so much for complement). He calls out demands at me each and everyday...'take out my garbage now", "I need you to put in buttons in my pants for my suspenders", Press my suspenders and pants", "Here is some cash now go out and get me some Christmas cards!"...UHGGGGGGGG I have been very nice and use gentle reminders that I am a nurse...but yesterday...he moved from degrading me as a nurse, to me as a person..I don't play that!!!!!!!!! Finally after 4 months...I commented back..and very censored believe me! (I could have been "professional" and lectured him ad nauseum about his noncompliant diabetic diet...but I was a little 'last straw that broke' kind of mood ;)...)

Professional no, but who said everyday I can do 'professional' when someone degrades me professionally (in the past) and then personally (yesterday!)...nope, I get to be me at that point..and you know what....LOL.....

TODAY..he was laughing at me and said "ohhhhh you spiked it up even higher..for me?" and I laughed..."you betcha, just for you! (I actually did!!! LOL)". Then he laughed "oh well I will certainly say it looks good! Or at least till you are done with the CBG!"...we both laughed and he appologized saying he actually liked my hair done MORE spikey then it was yesterday and keep it up! LOL!!!!!!!! So I fluffed it up and paraded a bit for him...LOL, we just laughed and laughed!

I guess the trick is knowing a patient for a while, and I knew that this was one...warranted (oh I held my tongue believe me!!!!!), and two...may hit a respect nerve in him that gained his respect on a level...I was right!!!!!!

We got a great laugh today, and he called me NURSE! A first..guess I went through his personal initiation!

NOrmally I just nod, yesterday I stood up...but not before I knew him pretty well. Him calling me a laundry maid should have clued me in that he had no respect for me because I didn't react to his badgering...well...LOL, maybe not now, or at least for a day or two..I WILL SO TAKE THAT! LOL!

And for Graduate nurse, yes the first thing I thought was....oh man, that was far from me personally to do...and I was sad after for a moment wondering oh boy what did I say?!?!?! Then I said...well, he really did need a good lesson in who is the nurse here, and until then I am of no benifit to him since he won't listen to me or even look at me without respect..what good am I if he keeps on thinking I am some "spikey punk laundry maid". I spoke to him as he speaks to others...and I won that one! There is a place and time to be 'down to earth' and a time to be 'by the book', and sometimes being HUMAN recieves better attention and respect..just KNOW your clients well enough before going there! I do see what you are saying and agree, but the nurse in me is different from the person I am (nurse=job, person=me)..and from time to time..I listen to the person.

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Specializes in Education, Acute, Med/Surg, Tele, etc.
and I must add that I think your comments were appropriate, because poeple have to know that we are not there for them to Sh!t on.

THANKS! Not professional, but LOL, appropriate yes..LOL! Hey it worked so I am happy! Thank you all for your support...I am not going to make a habit of doing that, but it sure beats getting walked all over some times!

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Specializes in Education, Acute, Med/Surg, Tele, etc.
TriageRN--I'm glad that you told the Pt what you did. He was completely out of line. There comes a time when the pt needs to understand that commenting on the nurse's appearance really has nothing to do with their care. I am all for taking excellent care of a pt but I am really getting tired of the "customer is always right" attitude that hospitals are taking. I wonder if the pt would have appreciated having a thorough assessment of his personality performed? And as far as informing him about nurses and needles--it sounds like he was a dim bulb and what is common sense for the rest of the population must not have been for him!

Thank you thank you! I felt it almost bordered on sexism personally...telling me to get my hubby to fork out money so I am attractive to my patient..what kind of 'NURSE' is he wishing for?????? Not going to take that! Thank goodness I don't really have a large front..or he may have asked me to bend over all the time!(which he does do to caregivers..they HAVE to wear v-neck scrubs, poor gals!...yes we fought it and LOSS big time).

Patient crossed a small line, best to get them then than later on when they make you REALLY MAD!

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I agree with graduate nurse.......your comments about the needle didn't sound very professional to me...........and really could have been taken as threatning. As far as telling him how your felt..............didn't sound very professional to me. I have worked in LTC facilities and hospitals and have never felt the need to talk to a patient that way. Have you ever thought something is bothering them when they act out that way? Being a professional means taking the higher road. Perhaps investigating why the patient is always so mean. There is a number of things that could be bothering him.

I agree I don't like to be put down, but I have always managed to smile and walk away from the situation without stooping to the patient's level.

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I agree with graduate nurse.......your comments about the needle didn't sound very professional to me...........and really could have been taken as threatning. As far as telling him how your felt..............didn't sound very professional to me. I have worked in LTC facilities and hospitals and have never felt the need to talk to a patient that way. Have you ever thought something is bothering them when they act out that way? Being a professional means taking the higher road. Perhaps investigating why the patient is always so mean. There is a number of things that could be bothering him.

I agree I don't like to be put down, but I have always managed to smile and walk away from the situation without stooping to the patient's level.

I agree with you Sarah.
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